Page 74 of Christmas Wishes

A part of me wanted to cancel my morning appointments tomorrow, but I couldn’t bear to watch Keaton pack away his presence in my life. I had a feeling we both needed privacy to prepare for our parting, so I would work for a few hours and then come back to say goodbye.

I rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. After a few moments, Keaton pulled back and gave me a halfhearted smile.

“Shall we test the vibe of the living room?”

Keaton laughed, and the sound hit me like a defibrillator. “I’m sorry, but hearing you say ‘vibe’ in your rumbly voice is too funny.”

I chuckled and walked toward the living room. I glanced down the hallway and saw Joule curled up outside my room. My feet faltered at the sight.

“Aw! She likes you.”

I was touched. I’d always kept the door to the main bedroom cracked because I knew Joule liked to spend time where Nico used to sleep. Seeing her outside the room I slept in warmed my heart, and it was all Keaton’s doing. “Eh, she’s resigned herself to her fate.” I winked at Keaton.

When I entered the living room, I turned a lamp on and dropped onto the couch chaise. When Keaton neared, I snagged him by the waist and pulled him onto my lap. The time for acting coy was long gone.

Keaton stretched out his legs, intertwining them with mine. “So, what do you think? Does it feel like a space you can hang out in after a long day of work? The TV is comfortably visible now. What do you even like to watch? The news?”

“Sitcoms, mostly.”

Keaton turned toward me, eyes bulging. “You’re a sitcom guy? Oh god,” he said dramatically. “That majorly dings your hotness score.”

I pressed my hand to my chest. “Ouch. You wound me with your lack of humor.”

We laughed, then fell into silence.

“I’m going to miss you,” Keaton said quietly.

“Going to miss you too.” I tried to find the words to convey how I felt, but I’d never been good with those. “You were the last thing I expected.”

Keaton laughed, and it shook my body. “You’re telling me. I thought I’d be spending the week in short sleeves and traipsing among the cactuses. Cacti?”

“Instead, you got stuck with a grumpy workaholic who needs to find a therapist.”

Keaton aimed his kind eyes at me. He’d adorned them with red-and-white peppermint stripes for the festival. It was criminal that I wouldn’t get to find out what makeup looks he would wear to other town events.

“No, I had the pleasure of getting to know a man working through some difficult stuff. A man who doesn’t let people in easily, yet he chose to give me that gift.”

My throat burned with the effort of holding back my emotions. “Jesus, Keaton. Are you trying to kill me?”

“Maybe,” he said, grinning playfully.

“You’re incredible. You, well, Arlo, reserving the room upstairs is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. It’s going to hurt like hell when you leave. This place won’t be the same without you.”I won’t be the same without you.

Keaton rested his face on my chest, and I felt dampness after a minute. I rubbed my hand across Keaton’s back and let tears well in my eyes.

I’d never gone to summer camp, but I imagined this was what it would have felt like to say goodbye to a summer crush at the end of the season. But ten times worse because now I had adult-sized feelings.

If I didn’t ask him what might happen after he left, I feared I’d regret it forever. “This might sound silly, but what do you think about kee—”

“Keeping in touch? Yes! Please. Let’s do that. Oh god, is that what you were going to say?” He grimaced. “Please tell me that’s it. Or were you about to ask me what I think about Kellogg’s Corn Flakes? Because I’m neutral on those.”

His brain was endlessly entertaining. “Yes, to keeping in touch. Also yes to neutral opinions about Corn Flakes. I want to keep you in my life. I—I feel a lot of things for you. I don’t want you to disappear.”

“Yeah, okay, yes.” He nodded eagerly and wiped his eyes. “I can’t imagine my life without Riggs in it. You good with FaceTiming once in a while?”

“Getting to see you? Sounds perfect. And promise me you’ll work on your accounts and content. I want to watch people fall in love with you.”Like I’ve been doing the past two weeks.The realization was a gut punch and the brightest, lightest, most joyous feeling in the world.

“I will. I promise. I still need to figure out my username, but I think I’m getting close.”

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