Page 67 of Christmas Wishes

My brain was still spinning over the brand possibilities as I followed Riggs into the ski shop. I barely paid attention as Riggs worked with the employee to get me set up with what I needed. I barely knew a ski from a snowboard. Both had been in myShit to Avoidbox most of my life.

As soon as I slid my feet into the boots, my breaths grew shallow. The memories of my first and only attempt at skiing threatened to take over, but the employee asking how they fit pulled me out of it. Riggs watched me like a hawk. Not as though he was expecting me to fall apart, but like he was ready to hold me up.

Riggs kindly handled the checkout process while I tried to get myself sorted. It was such a silly thing to still be worked up over so many years later, but sometimes, my brain had no interest in logic.

After storing the boots we’d arrived in, we exited the toasty shop into the freezing cold. The only part of me that noticed was my face, so clearly, the new coat was a winner. I’d grown fond of Nico’s coat, but it had the insulation of a coat that had reached its peak fashion forty years ago. The ski boots were awkward to walk in but not as bad as they would be once the skis were attached.

“Let’s find some flat ground so we can get you used to having skis on your feet,” Riggs suggested gently.

I tilted my head. “We aren’t going to start on a hill?”

He looked horrified. “God, no. You’re brand new.Maybewe’ll do the bunny slope. I want to focus on finding your balance on the skis and learning basic control. We don’t need to push it. We’re not trying to turn you into Bode Miller.”

I wanted to jump into Riggs’s arms and kiss his face. “That sounds reasonable.” I nodded, but the nodding wouldn’t stop. I bobbled-headed and stared at the people walking toward the ski lift.

A gaggle of kids decked head-to-toe in fancy ski gear passed. They were about the age I’d been the one time I’d tried. “This is so embarrassing. I’m triple their age and triple terrified.”

With both sets of skis propped over his shoulder, Riggs stepped closer. “Let’s be thankful they don’t have the same past issues to deal with as you do and get to enjoy it. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

I smiled weakly, and Riggs wrapped his free arm around my shoulder. I followed his lead to a flat patch of snow out of the way of traffic and, hopefully, prying eyes.

Riggs showed me how to turn, slow down, stop, and safely fall. It made it easier to participate when Riggs was so willing to make a fool of himself. He dramatically fell onto the snow from every angle until he had my sides aching from the laughter. Each time I tensed, he was there with a reassuring squeeze of my arm or kiss on my cheek.

Once I was able to consistently manage the directions he gave, he rubbed his gloved hand up and down my arm.

“Are you willing to try a small slope?” He pointed to it.

At first, it looked like it might as well be the drop off a cliff, but after I blinked a few times, I supposed it was minimal enough that I’d barely notice the incline if I were walking. I also appreciated that he’d asked if I was willing, not if I wanted to because I didn’twantto. It was more that I was tired of being afraid of it.

I nodded. Words were a step too far for me.

Riggs moved so he stood fully in front of me, blocking my view of the slope in question. “Before we do that, can you tell me what happened to make you so scared of skiing? I want to make sure I don’t do or say anything that will make it worse for you.”

At that moment, I realized I’d never told him the full story. He’d accepted that it was something I was afraid of and didn’t need proof that it warranted so much fear.

I opened my mouth to give him a quick run-down, but my vision swam at the vivid memory of the cold darkness. Frigid enough to seep into my bones and keep me shivering for hours after I’d returned to safety. I half-remembered the stranger who’d found me and my siblings’ and cousins’ laughter once I’d been returned to my family. Most of whom hadn’t noticed that I’d been missing for two hours. That experience had given me a new appreciation for Kevin’s plight inHome Alone.

Riggs pulled me close, and the worst of the memories faded. I felt safe in Riggs’s arms and didn’t want to leave the cocoon, so I didn’t. I murmured the story against his chest in quiet words.

“A bunch of my extended family went on a ski trip when I was young. The adults decided that would be the big Christmas gift to everyone that year, so they pooled their money and rented a few cabins close together. Being an uncool ten-year-old, I wanted to hang out with the older kids. My older brothers wanted to hang out with the cousins their age, but Mom told them to let me tag along. They said I could if I did the stuff they wanted to do. I was scared to ski, but they said it was easy. Like riding a bike down a hill, which Iusedto love doing.”

Riggs wrapped his arms tighter around me.

“It started off badly with the ski lift. I didn’t know how to get off it and started panicking, so one of my brothers pushed me off. They started calling me a wuss when I refused to go down the hill. Eventually, I worked up the nerve to make that first push, but I didn’t know how to slow or stop. I kept going, screaming, until I ran into a bush. The rest flew past me, laughing, and left me behind. I waited for them to come back, but they didn’t. In my panicked mind, the bottom of the run was an arduous mile away and a straight drop, so I stayed there, frozen. Literally and figuratively.”

I felt as much as heard the growly rumble in Riggs’s chest. “How about you give me their contact information? I’d like to have a few words with them.”

I smiled against his coat and wrapped my arms tighter around his waist. “They were kids too. They probably regret what they did.” Hopefully. If they even remembered. I sure as hell had never brought it up and had given those cousins a wide berth at family functions for years after.

I reminded myself that Riggs wouldn’t push me further than I wanted to go. He wouldn’t taunt me to go down a hill or push me off a ski lift. He’d make sure I understood how to disembark before we even got on. Riggs wanted me to be safe and happy, and I was, with him.

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

* * *

RIGGS

I was impressed with how hard Keaton was trying to work through what he’d experienced. Most people would’ve happily lived the rest of their lives avoiding skiing—it wasn’t an activity most people had to face—but Keaton was taking action. I respected the hell out of him for that. If that had happened to me, I might’ve avoided mountains for the rest of my life. I didn’t blame him for hating skiing after such a traumatizing experience at a young age. I would’ve too if I had shithead cousins like that.

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