Page 9 of Mistletoe Kisses

Keaton: Okay, let me Google it. Are you in a safe place?

Arlo: Restaurant restroom.

Keaton: [grimace emoji]

Keaton: Did you eat wings?

Arlo: Ribs. [cry emoji]

Keaton: Okay, I found a thread on Reddit where someone said they dipped their dick in yogurt. Maybe there’s some at the restaurant you could get?

Arlo: How?? I can’t go out there like this.

Keaton: Want me to call the restaurant and explain the situation? I can ask someone to go into the restroom to help.

Arlo: If you do that, I will expire on the spot.

Keaton: You might need to wait it out, babe. But I don’t think there’s any danger here other than extreme discomfort from what I’m reading.

Arlo: Does Reddit say how long it lasted?

Keaton: Um, a while.

The burning spread into my lower stomach, making my eyes water. Nothing I did with the paper towels helped. If anything, the scratchy material made it worse.

After at least twenty more minutes of googling and troubleshooting with Keaton, the pain hadn’t receded at all. A recent addition to my worry list was how long I’d been gone from the table. Did the server think I’d skipped out on the bill or was having horrific bowel issues? There was no way to exit this restroom and leave my dignity intact.

Everything I found in my searches said the same thing Keaton had. Dip my dick in dairy products and wait it out.

The restroom door opened, and I winced.

After a few moments of silence, a familiar voice spoke. “You know, if you’re planning to dine and dash, the exit’s at the other end of the restaurant.”

I bit back a groan as my cheeks burned.If the earth could swallow me whole right about now, that would be great.

“You’d been gone a while, so I wanted to check on you.”

He probably assumed I was emptying all my insides. I couldn’t imagine being bold enough to check on someone if you thought that was what was going on.

I repeated the wordsI’m never going to see these people again. I can spend the rest of the week hiding in the B&B until this nightmare passeslike a mantra. I could tell Deb I’d caught a cold and wanted to keep my germs away, and maybe she would leave breakfast outside my door. Or I could ask her to kill me and turn me into a human doll. She might have a collection of those somewhere.

The burning spiked, and I let out a whimper.

“Seriously, are you okay?”

Chapter4

Lucas

I didn’t makea habit of following customers into the restroom to check on them, but after nearly half an hour passed, and given how he’d looked like he’d seen a ghost after bumping into Ron, I’d followed my gut and gone in to make sure he wasn’t passed out on the floor.

After the pregnant pause, I realized how creepy it must seem to have a stranger go in after you.

“You seemed rattled after your collision outside the restroom earlier, so I wanted to make sure you were okay. And also make sure you weren’t injured. Your feet are pointed in a direction that tells me you’re not actively using the toilet, so I figured it was safe to talk. Otherwise, I would’ve just left. I’m not a weirdo, I promise.” I stopped myself from being even more obnoxious.

He whimpered again, and I nearly busted the door open. He sounded like he was in excruciating pain.

“My penis burns.”

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