Page 18 of Mistletoe Kisses

I wasn’t the type of guy who attracted attention from men. Occasionally, guys went for me if they had a thing for redheads, or I had a few drinks in a bar when out with Keaton and was loose enough to be flirted with. When guys discovered I didn’t have a stereotypical “firecracker personality” people assigned to redheads, they often lost interest.

But the way Lucas looked at me reminded me of how people watched Keaton when they were charmed by him.Is Lucas charmed by me?How could that be? I was quiet and boring. When people called me shy, they never meant it as an endearment.

“While the idea of me being a secret spy from the government for the lost city of Atlantis sent to track down a lost line of Atlantean royalty is quite an idea, I’m sad to say the real story is much more boring.” I finished the darkest of the beers. It kind of tasted like chocolate.

Lucas’s smile shifted to something softer, more sincere. “There’s nothing wrong with boring.”

I closed my eyes for a moment and let that simple statement wrap around me like a warm hug. Then I launched into the story.

Lucas leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table as he listened intently to my quick summary. “What did you do when you found the letters between your parents?” he asked.

“I didn’t open them at first since they were addressed to her. But as I flipped through the other items in the box to look for anything belonging to me, I found a blurry photo of my mom at a bar talking to a guy with red hair stuck with the letters. Then, I found an obituary of a guy like the one in the photo. When his obituary mentioned he’d been stationed in Minneapolis with the Air Force during the year printed on the photo, I started suspecting who he was. Why else would she have those things? So I opened one of the letters and read something about how she was pregnant and going to keep the baby but didn’t want to get married.”

“Did you keep reading?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t want to invade her privacy even further, though I still second-guess that decision. I have a lot of questions.”

“I bet you do. Do you know if she was dating someone else at the time? Is that why she didn’t want to get married?”

“I don’t remember my mom ever dating anyone, and I’ve never heard stories of people in her life from before I came into the picture. She’s fiercely independent and hasn’t ever seemed interested in relationships. I’m not even sure she ever wanted a kid, to be honest. She might’ve been in nursing school when they met, so maybe she wanted to focus on that.”

“I wonder how he felt about that. Maybe he wasn’t interested in raising a kid or had his own family?” Lucas winced. “Sorry.”

I puffed up my cheeks and blew out a breath. “Don’t be. I’ve wondered too. I think he died when I was still a baby, so he didn’t have much time to try to be a presence in my life.”

Lucas reached across the table and placed his hand on top of mine. “I’m so sorry, Arlo. Do you mind if I ask what your mom did tell you about him? Did you know your dad had died?”

I nodded. “That’s all I knew. She’d basically told me the truth about him, but I think a part of me always assumed she was lying or holding something back. Once I was old enough to ask, she told me he was dead and not in our lives.” And I’d never asked anything further because she’d made it clear from her tone that the subject was closed. At least that was what my young brain had assumed for years, then too much time had passed for me to bring it up again.

He took a swig from one of his darker beers. “Have you done an ancestry DNA test to confirm it’s him?”

“No, because if I do that and his family is on the site, they’ll know I exist.” In some ways, their knowing could make it easier because a relative might reach out first. But if they did that, I would have to talk to my mom about it, and I wasn’t ready.

“Are you sure it’s the Dahlia Springs Brennans instead of other Brennans?”

That was a fair question, and one I’d asked myself many times. “The obituary listed my grandparents’ names and Dahlia Springs as his birth city. I checked an ancestry site for other Brennans in the area, and they matched up perfectly. I also found a newspaper profile on Ron and the bookstore, and it mentioned my dad’s death.”

Compassion, not pity, was clear in his eyes. “You’re in a really difficult position.”

I could’ve cried at his empathy. Keaton was always understanding, but I’d assumed that if I told anyone else about the burden I’d been keeping, they would say I was making a big deal out of nothing. That I should jump for joy at finding a new piece of my family puzzle. Which was basically like telling a person with anxiety to simply “not worry about it.”Yeah, and I’ll change the sky from blue to fuchsia.No big deal.

“I can tell you that I know a few of them, and they’re great people. I don’t know them well, but we’ve all lived in the same small town my entire life. I’m sure they’d welcome you with open arms, but I understand it’s complicated.”

“Thank you.” I wasn’t sure what it was about Lucas that made him so easy to talk to. Maybe it was the town or that I’d reached such a level of stress about the situation it made the need to talk override my usual reservations around new people.Or maybe it’s Lucas.

“You might feel more comfortable with Ron the more time you spend with him. Maybe that’ll make it easier.”

“I’m nervous about going back for the passport event tomorrow night,” I admitted.

“What time is it at?”

“Six to nine, I think.”

He stared into the distance for a moment, his lips moving like he was calculating something. “I open tomorrow, so I get off at seven. Would it help if I were there with you? No pressure. I don’t want you to feel like you have to spend time with me. Just thought a friendly face might help if you need a buffer.”

“You’d do that for me?” It would be amazing to have him there.

“For the guy who gave me one of the most memorable nights of work in my life? Absolutely.”

---