Page 69 of Mistletoe Kisses

As the dogs sniffed around our feet, I grabbed Lucas’s hand. He turned to me and smiled.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Do you have to?”

That was the million-dollar question. I wondered more and more what I’d be going home to. Keaton was more than enough to go home to, but he’d kill me if I made life decisions around him. He would never abandon me, but I knew he worried about my world being too narrow.

“I don’t know.” That was the best I could give him, but it was a start.

Chapter30

Lucas

As I carriedan armful of dirty dishes toward the kitchen, another table waved me down to change their order. It had been that kind of day. Work was always busier around town festivals, and the annual Festival of Lights series of events was the most popular. Particularly the Making Spirits Bright event this year since it included the ribbon cutting for the park remodel.

Busy might be stressful, but I appreciated the boost in tips and less time to think about what I was supposed to do on stage in mere hours. It was hard to panic when my brain was full of refill requests, food orders, and Arlo. It was nice of my boss Caleb to let me duck out early for the proposal—he was such a romantic—but a part of me wished he’d said he couldn’t cover me, so I had an excuse to get out of it.

Whenever I had a moment to myself and texted Arlo, there was already a message from him to check in, let me know what he was doing, sending me a photo, or telling me he was thinking about me. His support and distraction methods made all the difference.

“Table four caught me to ask for more ranch,” Kayla said as I entered the kitchen.

“They’re going through ranch faster than I drink coffee. Thanks for letting me know.” I filled a bigger container and delivered it to the table.

My thoughts wandered back to Arlo as I worked, especially what he’d said at Pittock Mansion yesterday. I couldn’t believe he didn’t want to leave. I knew he’d been enjoying himself, but there was a hell of a big difference between having fun on vacation before returning to your real life and enjoying it so much you genuinely wanted to stay.

I didn’t want him to leave either and was determined to do whatever it took to keep him in my life. I wasn’t sure how we’d make long-distance work, but I needed to try. Even if we were only friends—my life was better with Arlo in it. I liked him, I liked being around him, and I liked who I was around him.

We needed to talk before he left tomorrow, and it was a conversation that required being face-to-face instead of talking through a machine at a long distance. I wanted to read his body language.

“The vendors will be great, but I’m most excited about the show. I saw on the event schedule that there’s a children’s choir. How cute is that?”

I forced a smile as I overheard the conversation at the four-top I was delivering the ranch to. I tried to ignore the way my stomach twisted, but the twists were becoming more violent as my performance loomed. They weren’t the first people I’d heard excitedly chatting about Making Spirits Bright, but each time someone said it, my stress level filled more of the thermometer. I never used to have stage fright, but it was impossible not to be terrified of that stage after all the ways it had betrayed me.

While delivering a bill, I noticed Kayla seating two people in my section. I made my rounds to check on tables, then walked over to them. I faltered when I realized it was one of my exes and a gorgeous hulk of a man with him.

The ex who dumped me after I sang to him at Making Spirits Bright and “embarrassed” him after throwing up on stage. Like he was the most embarrassed out of both of us. I’d warned him that my stomach was sour after eating dinner at his parents’ the night before, but he’d said it would be rude to cancel my performance.

“Lucas. Wow. It’s been a while.”

“Hey, Chad. How have you been?” I maintained my pleasant work smile.

“Great, great. You? Surprised to see you working here.”

And there it is.That judgment got real old, real quick. Thank god Arlo wasn’t like that dickhead.

“I love it here. You two know what you want to drink? I can get that started, then give you some time with the menu.” I listed the day’s specials and took their drink orders.

As soon as I turned to walk away, Chad poorly whispered, “That’s the ex who puked on stage years ago after dedicating that song to me.”

“Oh god. That’s him? I still can’t believe you went through that. I’m so sorry, babe.”

“Thanks, babe. It was harrowing, but my therapist got me through the embarrassment.”

I barely held back my eye roll as I went to get their drinks. But with each step, their words sank in. I couldn’t do that to Warren. It’d been foolish of me to agree to Reed’s idea. Instead of immediately getting their drinks, I detoured to the restroom to collect myself. The last thing I wanted was for Chad to get any satisfaction from seeing me squirm.

My moment on stage hadn’t been the most mortifying part of that evening. It’d been Chad’s reaction. Acting like I’d done it on purpose.

I pulled out my phone. I needed Arlo.

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