Page 73 of Relief Pitcher

Seth rolled his eyes right back. “You’re such a shit listener. I’m demisexual.I asked about demiromantic.”

“Oops.” I smiled sheepishly. I considered it for a minute. “I’ve probably heard of it but never thought about it before. I can guess what it means, but in case I’m wrong, what is it?”

“The way I like to think about it is both demisexual and demiromantic people need an emotional connection with someone, but the difference is demisexual people need it for satisfying sex and demiromantic people need it for romantic interest.”

“Huh.”

He turned more toward me and crossed his legs as his enthusiasm grew. “If you think this idea fits you, then you would probably need an emotional connection to have romantic feelings for someone. The sex comes much easier.”

“That’s what he said.”

He pelted me with a pillow. “You’re such a dickhead.”

I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him close until I could reach the top of his head for a loud, smacking kiss. “Sorry. I know I’m an asshole.” I let him go and caught his smile before he stared down at his phone.

I leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling while I worked through what he’d suggested. It made a hell of a lot of sense. Sexwaseasy for me, and I never felt like I was missing out on the romance or love with people. I enjoyed using our bodies to make each other feel good and then moving on. But with my ex in college, we were really tight before I started feeling something beyond sexual attraction.

Does this mean I’m not broken?

“This is making sense to me, but I don’t get why it’s only been two guys.”

Seth put his phone down. “You’ve gotten to know lots of guys, but that doesn’t automatically mean you feel romantic attraction to them. Just like you don’t want to fuck literally every guy you see. Don’t give me that face. I know I’m right.”

“Okay, noteveryguy.”

“You never had a thing for Ethan or Dom, right?”

“Ew, no.”

“But they’re your best friends.” Seth looked back at his phone. “What about Gavin?”

“Fuck no.”

His mouth twitched. “So it’s not only about getting to know someone that makes you like them. There has to be something more there, which is the same for me. Clicking with someone emotionally doesn’t mean I automatically want to screw them. It takes a special mix, but an emotional connection is at the top of the list.”

I followed what he was saying. Maybe Coopwasspecial. There was no maybe about that, he absolutely fucking was. One of the most special people I’d ever met in my life.

In a ten-minute conversation, Seth blew what I thought I knew about myself to smithereens. Demiromantic. Huh. I tried the label on in my head and didn’t hate it. It actually relieved a lot of pressure I didn’t realize I’d been carrying by giving me a label that made me feel normal. That there actually were other people like me—enough to require a name.

A thought crossed my mind, and I sat up. “We’re both demi! We should get T-shirts made! The McNeill Demi Bros.”

Seth’s eyes went wide as dinner plates. “No. God, no.”

“Come on. It could be so fun! A marketing angle for the brewery. We can make a special demi-edition beer.”

He stood and hurried out of the room. “Nope.”

I followed him up the stairs. “It could be a fundraiser. This is part of the ace spectrum, right? There’s got to be an ace awareness day. We could do a demi-representation event in town. Demi in Dahlia Springs. Seth, come on. The alliteration is so sexy.”

Seth strode into his room and slammed the door in my face.

“You’re no fun.”

Instead of harassing him more, I needed to get ready for work. While I waited for the shitty water heater to warm my shower, I googled demiromantic. Everything I read made a hell of a lot of sense. I liked having a reason for why I’d always felt different from my friends, and it helped ease some worry about trying things with Coop. At the very least, it gave me ideas for search terms like “I’m demiromantic and like a guy but have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. Help.”

But a label didn’t erase the fact that I didn’t know shit about how to be in a relationship and stop myself from eventually hurting Cooper.

CHAPTER33

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