Page 6 of Relief Pitcher

“You’re right, they don’t. The Dahlia Springs Pumpkin Regatta with people hollowing out giant pumpkins and racing them in water isn’t like that at all.” Cooper’s tone dripped with sarcasm.Don’t get a boner. Don’t get a boner. Do. Not. Get. A. Boner.

One side of my mouth tilted up. Outside of my best friends and brother, I wasn’t used to people dishing my shit back to me. I opened my mouth to argue, but he was right. I huffed and turned back to the movie.

The couple on screen frantically worked to finish the top piece of the snowperson. The man used his late grandmother’s antique hat and scarf to decorate it, which clinched the win. Why he would want to get family heirlooms wet was beyond me.

I watched in fascination as the couple stared at each other over the top of the old hat and leaned in for an almost kiss. I didn’t get why people wanted all of that. All those big emotions and having someone else holding so much power over your happiness. I kept watching the movies, though, because Iwantedto understand. I wanted my parents’ long and loving marriage to make sense. I wanted to get why Ethan had continued throwing himself into relationships even though they’d never worked out for long. Hopefully, Parker would be the exception to that. I wanted to know why Austin had been a workaholic for as long as I’d known him until he’d met Caleb and found something more important than his job. Despite the extensive nature of my research through endless hours of movie-watching, it never became any clearer.

I was happy to get an orgasm, give an orgasm, and mutually agree to part ways with a high five. I didn’t want anything else.

The couple on screen cuddled together in a cabin in front of a warm fire. I could concede the merits of that particular activity as I watched from a log cabin. It was a shame Cooper didn’t have a fireplace because that man was a lumbersnack who deserved to be laid down in front of a fire and fucked until we both earned rug burns.

Iseriouslyneeded to get laid. I pulled my phone from my pocket and launched Grindr. Even if AAA magically arrived in time to get to my dick appointment, I wasn’t feeling it. It’d been a stressful day, and the Hallmark vibes fucked with my calibration. It was dangerous trying to get my dick sucked with that sappy shit running through my head. Maybe we could hook up tomorrow night. I shot off a quick message to cancel.

Then I texted the guys to let them know what happened and that I would be delayed in getting home. Ethan chimed in immediately and peppered me with questions about my whereabouts and who I was with. Always the mother hen.

My attention wandered back to the piece that had caught my eye earlier. Cooper had a great eye for art. He also had a thing for crows, which was an interesting choice. Crow mugs, crow paintings, and little crow figurines by the TV. While looking at them, I realized the room had grown significantly darker.

I looked over my shoulder out the living room window. It was getting dark. The bay window lightened up the room during the day, but as darkness crept in, it became decidedly spooky. What if a creepy murdererwaslurking between the trees and judging our taste in movies? At least the murderer would be getting soaked. As the rain hammered the roof, I imagined the sound would soothe under other circumstances, but each aggressive raindrop made my getting home soon a more distant possibility.

“But you’ve got to admit that crowning a princess for a snowperson festival is silly.”

Cooper hummed. “It’s silly that it’s gendered. They’re thoughtful in calling it snowpeople instead of snowmen, but they’re crowning a princess instead of calling it royalty.”

“Exactly! These movies—” A booming crack filled the room. I damn near levitated off the couch like a startled cat. “The fuck was that?”

Cooper was already on his feet. “Tree came down.”

“On the house?” My voice reverted to its pre-puberty pitch.

“If it came down on the house, pretty sure you’d see it. The house isn’t that big.”

“Good point.” Cooper must be cool in a crisis. He strode toward the mudroom we entered earlier, and I allowed myself a hot sec to ogle his ass. Danger made me horny.

“Where are you going?”

“To make sure the house is safe before it gets completely dark.”

I trailed behind him. “Are we not safe here?”

“We live in the Cascadia Subduction Zone, and there’s supposed to be an earthquake in the next hundred years that takes out the West Coast. Are we ever truly safe?”

“Well, thanks a fucking lot for that cheery thought. Guess I’m never sleeping again.” I glared at him.

He shook his head and smiled. “Stay put. I’ll be back.”

I looked between the ominous forest through the kitchen window and the wood paneling. Wood paneling gave me the creeps. I’d been begging my parents to remodel theirs for years, but I was pretty sure they’d kept it to troll me at this point. “I’m going with you.”

When he frowned and opened his mouth, I cut him off. “People who split up are the first to die in horror movies.”

He gave me aseriously?look but didn’t say no. “You’ll get soaked. Your shoes aren’t waterproof.”

I batted my eyelashes at him. They were long, and I knew how to work them to my advantage. “That’s why you’re going to let me borrow some clothes. Pretty sure I saw more rain gear hanging in the mudroom.”

His resigned sigh was music to my ears. My feet weren’t small by any means. I was six feet tall, but Cooper’s rain boots were loose on me. Good for him if he was proportional.He handed me a headlamp and told me to stay close.

“That won’t be a problem.” I couldn’t help the flirtatiousness in my tone. It wasn’t my fault it came naturally.

We walked the perimeter of his house and couldn’t find the tree. If Cooper hadn’t rescued me, I probably wouldn’t have been doing well. It got hella dark hella fucking fast as the rain attacked us from every direction, but at least Cooper’s fugly rubber clothes kept me dry.

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