Page 80 of Eternal Hoptimist

I laughed wetly and swiped my forearm across my nose. While we sat in silence, I let Austin’s words ping around until they filled the cracks. Austin was right. Parker cared. I’d never had anyone care about me like that before, and when he showed it to me, I threw it back in his face.

I was always the person who bent over backward to please people, to show them they were wanted in the hope they wanted me back. I’d never been on the receiving end of such attention and care. “I wish he’d told me what he was doing.”

“So tell him, and he’ll do better next time. I’m sure Parker wishes he could’ve told you too, but he was in an impossible position. Tell you, possibly against Rosie’s wishes, and he risks alienating his future in-laws.”

I swatted his arm, but a smile broke through.

“Or let Rosie lead and risk upsetting you? I think he did the best he could.”

“Why are you so reasonable? Ugh.” I scrunched my face and stomped my foot while making pouty sounds.

“Done with your fit now?”

“I overreacted, didn’t I?”

Austin shrugged. “I think it’s an understandable reaction. Might not be the best one, but you were caught off guard. Maybe if he hadn’t been here, and you’d had time to let the news sink in, or if I’d gotten to you first, you might not have snapped at him. I think how you move forward is the most important part. If he shuts you out for this, then he’s not the man I think he is. If you shut him out, I think you’ll regret it for a long time.”

I knew he was right. “He didn’t deserve me lashing out at him. I feel like shit.”

“Do you remember when Caleb and I were trying to figure our crap out, and you told me that if you ever found someone who looks at you like Caleb looks at me, you’d be set? Well, buddy, you’re set. Don’t let him go.”

“It’s different with him than it’s been with anyone else.” Parker meant so much to me. I shrank back in the chair and stared into Austin’s compassionate eyes. The vibrant blue made me miss Parker. “What if it doesn’t work? Our schedules, the distance, our job responsibilities. There’s so much working against us.”

“You mean like Caleb and I both running our own businesses and him trying to start a restaurant? Sure, we lived close to each other when we started dating, but that didn’t mean we never had to work our asses off to put each other first. If you really want it, you’ll find a way. We’ll support you in whatever you need to do. We’ve got your back.”

“Thanks, man.” I appreciated Austin more than he would ever know.

“Now, don’t you have a fancy party to get ready for? Go get your man.”

I had a tux to grab and some apologizing to do.

CHAPTER 32

PARKER

Hector:What time are you and Ethan arriving? I don’t want to get to the party before you

Hector:Want to pre-funk somewhere? It’ll make it less boring

Hector:Okay I’m going to assume by your silence that you and Ethan are doing fun things that I’m definitely not jealous about. Drinks after! I demand it. There’s a bar near the venue that has karaoke

* * *

Hector plucked two champagne flutes off the tray a passing server held and handed me one. “I’m sure you could use both, but I need a drink after that story.” He cracked his neck and tugged on his royal-blue bow tie.

As soon as he’d gotten one glance at me when I arrived at the gala, he’d commandeered a tall table during the mingling hour and forced me to tell him why I looked like my parents had given my puppy away.

I’d been an anxious wreck all afternoon. Beating myself up for being too dense to anticipate how upset Ethan would be. I’d known since Rosie had asked me to keep it quiet that there was a risk Ethan would be upset, but I’d underestimated it. He had every right to be angry at me because he wasn’t wrong—I was complicit in keeping something from him because Rosie didn’t want to hurt him. I’d worried that if I told him when she’d asked me not to, neither Rosie nor Ethan would trust me. Selfishly, I took the route I thought would keep me in Ethan’s good graces.

I still hadn’t heard from him since I’d left the brewery hours ago. I hadn’t reached out because the last thing I wanted to do was push him when he’d asked for space. I missed him. Not because I wanted a boyfriend on my arm to prove to the partners I fit their narrow mold—fuck that and fuck them—but because I loved him. I wanted to see him all dressed up, send flirty smiles while pretending to listen to the boring speeches. I wanted to cherish the squeeze of his hand when I was introduced as the newest and youngest partner at Sullivan Brothers, rip each other’s clothes off at home and drink the fancy champagne I left chilling to celebrate.

“I’m sure he’ll come around for the great make-up sex in no time.” Hector leered. “Speaking of.” He straightened his blue tuxedo jacket and winked at the server who’d stopped to offer us stuffed mushrooms.

I knew Hector was right, and I needed to hold on to that confidence. Dwelling on making up with Ethan was easier than thinking about the looming partner announcement. When dinner started, they would begin the program and the announcements of promotions to partner, senior partner, and equity partner. With the warm reception I’d received and the winks and nudges from current partners, I knew what was about to happen.

I’d done it. I was about to be named the youngest partner in Sullivan Brothers' firm history. I should be excited, but there was a gaping hole. It wasn’t even because I worried about Ethan. When I’d bought champagne the other day after Ethan said we should have some to celebrate after, it felt mechanical, expected. When I imagined popping open the champagne and sharing cheers with Ethan over my successful career and future, Ethan was the only part of that vision creating a flutter in my stomach. Not the promotion. Why would I want to drink to something that would keep me from him? There was a time when that type of achievement was all I needed to be happy. Before I met Ethan.

Maybe if Ethan were with me, I would be more stoked because of his infectious enthusiasm. Hector’s pride helped, but it wasn’t the same.

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