Page 35 of Eternal Hoptimist

Ethan:I’m happy to come back to Portland next weekend and get that other stuff though

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The January sunshine was a pleasant surprise as I drove back to Dahlia Springs. Leaving Parker’s place was tougher than it should’ve been. Eating breakfast together, casually chatting, laughing—all the domesticity I craved. My chest ached with how badly I wanted it for real.

A part of me wanted to take that step with him, but mostly I didn’t want to do anything to fuck up what Parker and I had. The odds were minuscule that it would work between us. I was simply swept away by the high of having a partner without truly risking my heart. It always went up in flames when that damn muscle got involved.

For about the hundredth time since getting in my car, I second-guessed my proposal to introduce sex to our agreement. Not sex. Kink. Exploration.Education. It wasn’t falling into bed with someone while hoping it was the start of the rest of our lives together. It was intentional, measured, mature. He had an interest, and I had the technical knowledge to help—technical knowledge that could lead to orgasms. It didn’t have to mean anything.Keep telling yourself that.

As I pulled into the small parking lot behind the brewery, I forced myself to focus on work and not future fun with Parker and his body. With shorter open hours, Sunday was a great day to get as much done for the week as possible, so I could take at least part of Monday off while the brewery was closed.

I spotted Austin’s car in the lot. He’d been better about working fewer Sundays since he’d gotten together with Caleb, but Austin was still Austin.

I unlocked the back door that led to our brewing area and expected to find him busy measuring ingredients or checking temperatures, but it was empty. When I reached the taproom, I found Austin, Dom, and Ty sitting at a four-top by the window. They suspiciously stopped talking and stared at me like three puppies who’d just been busted for chewing up shoes.

“Uh, hi? Did I miss the memo about moving our meeting from tonight to this morning?”

“Nope. Just hanging out.” Ty pulled out the chair next to him and patted the seat.

I ignored their weighted stares as I moved behind the bar to start on prep before we opened.

“How’s your friend?” Austin asked.

“Good. He’s good.”

A look passed between Austin and Ty.

“Did you have fun?” he pushed.

“Yep.”

“Seriously? That’s all you’re gonna give us?”

I glared at Ty. “There’s nothing togiveyou. I had a night out in Portland like the hundreds we’ve had before. Do I give you the third degree whenever you come back from finding a fuck for the night?”

Ty rolled his eyes. “You leave during open hours for the first time since we opened. Go to visit some mysterious ‘old friend in town for the night’ and return without immediately spilling the details? That’s not like you.”

The scrutiny was fair. In any other situation, I would’ve sat with them and gushed about my night. If it had been a real date with Parker, I would’ve gone on and on about how good he looked, how we escaped to the rooftop, the way he felt in my arms as we slept, how I thought it was the beginning of something special. But it wasn’t. I needed to keep reminding myself that I was simply lost in pretending for him.

Icouldcome clean about the rest of my deal with Parker, but I couldn’t form the words. My nerves about telling them probably meant I knew what we were doing would end badly.

If I told them about the night theythoughtI had, I’d have to lie. I’d already lied enough, so I went with a tried-and-true approach: teasing. “I went to an amateur night for male strippers and made about five hundred in tips doing aMagic Mikeroutine. I was thinking about moonlighting, but the regular commute to Portland would suck.”

Austin’s mouth fell open. Dom snorted. Ty asked if I had any photos.

I artfully dodged all their nosy questions as I checked the taps. Soon enough, our first customers arrived, and Dom and Ty left. Before Austin followed a few hours later, he offered to cover for me at the bar to give me a break. I was going to decline so he could leave, but I spotted Mabel, director of the Chamber of Commerce, striding across the street with a growler in each hand.

“Back in ten.”

I settled in the oversized office chair Dom usually sat in and checked on Rosie.

We chatted for a few minutes about the drama in the town Facebook group she’d recently joined. Some scandal about Esther stealing Genevieve’s cheesy potato recipe and taking credit for it.

“Any news on the house?” I hated to ask, but I wanted the latest so I could support her and report any pertinent info to Parker.

“There’s some city council meeting coming up. Rumor among the retiree network is they’re trying to get the land rezoned.”

I sucked in a breath. “They’re what? They can’t do that! You own it.” If developers pulled off something that horrendous, could they get away with paying pennies on the dollar for everything?Shady motherfuckers!

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