Page 83 of Eternal Hoptimist

“Of course I do. You accepted me and helped me build confidence about who I am and going after what I want. You showed me there’s more to life than my job. For the first time, I think I can have a professional life that brings me joy in the same way you do. Maybe I can have it all—I’m ready to try. You’re special, Ethan. I’m honored you chose me, and I’ll never take it for granted.”

I dropped my forehead against his collarbone and basked in his words, letting them warm all the pieces of me I thought had died long ago. The part of me that always craved love and affection could never simplybeunless I was trying to find someone else. The part that made that damn New Year’s resolution out of sheer desperation. Parker taught me I didn’t need to be anyone else.

I looked up at him and saw shiny pools in the corner of his eyes.

“Ethan, you don’t need to give up any piece of what brings you joy for me. You’re perfect as you are. The things that make you happy are part of what I love about you, and I never want you to feel like you need to change anything for me.”

A half-strangled groan and half-whimper crawled its way up my throat. I didn’t fully understand until that moment that maybe my resolution hadn’t been the worst idea after all. It gave me the security to drop the pretense and be myself around Parker. And the best thing of all happened—Parker likedme. The real me.

“For so long, I thought the only way to find love was to mold myself into the person I believed someone else would want. There’ve been dozens of versions of me, but when I met you, I was the only me who mattered. I love you so much.”

Parker kissed me deeply and pressed me against the railing of the gazebo. “I love you too. You don’t need to change your job and what you love doing for us. We’ll find another way, okay?”

“Okay. Now, can we go back to your place so I can show you how much I love you?” I said, dropping my voice low.

Parker shivered in my arms. “Race you there.”

CHAPTER 34

PARKER

“Is there something specific you want tonight?” Ethan asked as he trailed open-mouthed kisses along my side.

I was impressed we’d made it all the way to my bed. Driving home was a blur of need and desperation. When I’d stopped at stoplights, I saw his need in my rearview mirror. We’d barely kept our clothes on in the elevator up to my place after parking our cars. I owed my poor neighbor a fruit basket after she saw us mauling each other when the elevator opened on our floor.

Ethan’s urgency met my own as we’d ripped our clothes off and tumbled onto the bed minutes ago. I shivered as his mouth crossed my stomach. Arching toward him, I pressed the crown of my cockhead into my pillow as he teased my nipple. He continued north and licked a path up my neck and across my jaw until he nibbled my earlobe. I was too distracted by the sensations to answer his question.

He hovered over me, and I smiled at him, twisting his hair between my fingers. “Hmm?” I couldn’t be expected to form rational thoughts. Ethan said he loved me.Loves me!

“I want to make you feel good, baby.”

I sighed at the pet name. “You always do.” I grabbed his ass with both hands and pressed my fingertips into his crack. “How about you use me to make yourself feel good?”

Ethan’s pupils eclipsed his eyes as he stared down at me. “You sure?”

I nodded eagerly. I knew he preferred to top, but he’d told me several times he enjoyed bottoming too. We just hadn’t gotten around to doing it that way yet.

“How about I plug you first?”

Ethan’s grin turned feral when I groaned. I considered asking to be restrained, but I wanted to be free to touch him everywhere. He dropped a quick kiss on my lips, then teased the seam of them with his tongue for the briefest moment before pulling away.

He quickly gathered supplies, straddled my waist, and pressed his palms on the bed on each side of my head as he loomed over me. “I want you to copyeverythingI do,exactlyhow I do it. Okay?”

His direction confused me, but I figured it would become clear once he began. I couldn’t say no to anything he said when his eyes promised me pleasure I could drown in. Commanding in a way that left me raw and needy. I couldn’t get enough of Ethan when he took charge. My best bet was to roll with it and enjoy whatever he had in mind.

He grabbed the lube, drizzled some on my fingers, and then spun to face my feet. “Plant your feet on the bed and show me your pretty hole. That’s it.” He looked back at me over his shoulder. “Remember, copy everything I do. You stop, I stop.”

I nodded. While waiting for him to do something, I counted the vertebrae notches in his pale skin leading to dimples I wanted to kiss.

Ethan’s lubed finger teased the sensitive skin around my hole. I widened my legs as much as possible to give him full access to do whatever he wanted. When he stopped moving, the direction made sense.

“Oh fuck.”

“Now you’re getting it.” His hole clenched and unclenched as I rubbed my finger around it in a circular motion, mirroring what I felt against my own. When he pressed a fingertip inside me, I focused on doing the same to him instead of losing myself to the sensations in my body. As he pushed his finger in to the second knuckle, I did the same.

With him straddling my waist, the angle was difficult, but I managed to thrust in time with him. When he added a second finger, so did I. Our heavy breathing synced, as did our moans, when he brushed my bundle of nerves, triggering me to do the same for him. He threw his head back as I stroked his prostate to the same slow rhythm he stroked mine in a loop of pleasure.

“You’re doing so—ungh—good. Yeah, like that.”

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