Page 49 of Eternal Hoptimist

“Parker, what’s your color?” he asked softly while rubbing gentle circles on my hip.

I can do this. I’m having fun. Mostly. This is great.A little bit uncomfortable, but I should stick with it since I suggested it. If I gave in immediately, was I even cut out for kink?

Ethan’s voice filled my head.Either of us can change our minds about anything at any time. It’s okay to want something in one moment and not the next. Sometimes an idea seems fun in theory but not in practice.Ethan gave me the gift of my voice.

“Yellow,” I blurted before I’d even unclenched my fingers from the sheets.

Ethan’s gentle hands quickly pulled the tie off my head without lingering. He sat cross-legged in his boxer briefs and peered at me with his hands in his lap. I found no hint of frustration or disappointment. He exuded calmness, curiosity, and his usual warmth. The warmth that had drawn me toward him initially.

I relaxed. I’d made the right choice.

“I’m proud of you.”

I didn’t expect those words, but they were exactly what I needed.He’s perfect.

“Can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

I sat and leaned against the headboard to have this conversation when we weren’t eye-to-eye. “I think it was the blindfold. I wanted to see you before I put it on to know it was you and not a random person.” My eyes dropped to where my thumb scratched against the sheet.

Ethan hooked his forefinger with mine. “You’ve talked about wanting to trust the person you do this with. It makes sense you’d want to visually confirm who’s in the room. You probably also want to read my body language and micro-expressions. I imagine you’re attuned to that with your job.”

I hadn’t considered that, but it made sense. Reading people was an important skill for an attorney. I wanted to confirm Ethan was as into it as I was. That he wasn’t doing it out of obligation.

Ethan leaned forward and curled his fingers around my neck, giving me a kiss so deep and loving that it stripped away any blurred lines and safety blankets of pretending. Just for a moment. Our kissing quickly turned heated as I pulled him to me, absorbing the heat rolling off him.

I laid back on the pillow, and Ethan followed my lips. My plumping dick pressed against the jock as I groped around for where Ethan had dropped the tie. “I’m ready. Green.”

Gratefully accepting me at my word, he kissed along my brow before covering my eyes. I smiled eagerly at him and caught his answering one before my vision went dark.

We hadn’t evendoneanything yet, and it was already clear why Ethan made me more comfortable exploring with him than any of the exes I’d been in relationships with. I’d dated people who either thought they knew what I wanted more than I did or shut down if I suggested something or expressed discomfort. Or they expected me to be in charge all the time because I was tall. I’d never believed I could be totally honest until Ethan. Iwantedto be honest with him to get another of his warm, kind, addictive smiles. The ones conveying both “I’m proud of you” and “I’m going to reward you so thoroughly that you’ll get dehydrated from coming too hard, but don’t worry, I’ve got water.”

I relaxed under his touch.He’s got me.My body finally caught on that I was about to explore as I’d wanted to for years. It felt so right with Ethan. We’d barely done anything, and he was already giving me the confidence I’d been desperately seeking. I was so grateful to him for helping me figure out this part of myself.I’m finally doing it.I couldn’t help the jaw-splitting smile from taking over my face.

“The clock’s ticking. I’d better get my fill of you.” Ethan kissed all over my body as though he were trying to get a blackout Bingo on my skin. He flicked his tongue around my nipples, applying gentle pressure in a pattern I couldn’t discern. I squirmed and pressed my chest against him in desperation.

I was so lost in his worship of my body that minutes went by before I realized I hadn’t thought about the blindfold at all. Seeing him at the beginning made all the difference.His understandingmade all the difference.

The blindfold allowed me to focus on my other senses and linger on new sensations. The light scratch of stubble as he licked across my skin, the groans sending shockwaves from the back of his throat when I begged, the softness of his hair where I gripped it.Blindfolds are going in the keeper column. I hoped we would try restraints at some point too.

Ethan worked his way up my body to my mouth and kissed me deeply before climbing off the bed. Despite knowing what he was doing based on our prior discussions about sensation and temperature play, there was still a thrill of surprise with one of my senses blocked.

I heard a zipper, some rustling, clinking, and other unidentifiable sounds. He returned, and something extremely soft brushed across my skin, teasing my arm, across my chest, and down my sides. A feather or soft brush? Next was something scratchy, but it didn’t really do much for me. Ethan must’ve sensed it because he moved on to something smooth and cool. A polished stone? When he dragged it across the sensitive skin between my thighs, I gasped, and Ethan sucked in a breath. Having Ethan solely focused on my body and pleasure shot my enjoyment toward the sky. He acted like there was a direct connection between our bodies. Each time I gasped or moaned, he did too.

I hissed when Ethan circled one nipple with an ice cube while his hot tongue teased the other. The dueling sensations made my eyes roll back. When he switched and applied his hot mouth to my cold skin, I was done for. My dick had been steadily hardening, but that pushed it over the edge into testing the confines of the jock.

“So fucking good. Hotel ice machines are the best thing ever invented.” I barely tracked his mouth moving down my body until the jock slid toward my feet.

“It’s been too long since I got my mouth on you. I jerk off every night thinking about sucking you off.”

It didn’t matter if he was in character because I’d done the same thing.

Ethan’s hot tongue looped around my crown and teased the slit while he moved the ice cube back to my nipples. I heard loud moans and assumed our neighbors were also getting it on, but then I realized they were from me. I’d never been so vocal before.

“Do you have an advanced degree in BJs because, Jesus!” It was the best blowjob I’ve ever had. He trailed the ice cube along my happy trail while he laved my balls. I couldn’t keep track of the sensations any longer as he gripped me expertly with long, hard strokes.

When he put his mouth back on me again, taking me to the root, I shot up onto my elbows. His mouth was freezing! “Oh my god. Ohmy god.” Instinct urged me to pull away, but I ignored it, basking in the sensation as his mouth warmed from the heat of my cock. If my dick wasn’t already as hard as steel, Ethan’s hoarse chuckle would have done the job.This is so fucking fun. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this.

He took me to the edge at lightning speed as I gave up trying to hold on. I reminded myself it wasn’t our last time together to let go. I gripped his hair with one hand and my own with the other. His debauched moan when I accidentally squeezed too hard while his finger teased my rim pulled sounds from me I’d never made before. His mouth had lost its cool edge, and his tongue burned against me as he lapped at my precum while coaxing my hole to let him in. Much like the gentle coaxing he’d been doing with my trust for weeks.

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