Page 22 of Eternal Hoptimist

“Did you ever reach the lower hot springs?” I asked as I stacked clean glasses still warm from being washed.

“With that weird tree?”

“Yes! I went there tons in high school to clear my head.” When the pressure from everything I juggled became too much.

Knowing we had the same favorite place in town made my stomach fizzy. Even if he moved to Dahlia Springs many years after I’d left—it was something connecting us.

Once we had the glasses cleaned and put away, I helped him restock the cans in the coolers out front. I got the opportunity to see where the magic happened in the back. I expected the brewing tanks to be more towering than they were. The brewing space at the rear of the brewery wasn’t small by any means, but it was amazing they could make so much beer without needing a bigger room or more equipment.

With a box of IPA cans in my arms, I paused when I reached a giant whiteboard near the door that led to the taproom. Black tape divided the board into four chunks, with each brewery owner’s name scribbled at the top of a section. Tyler’s said:it’s been 4 days since Tyler said epic. The four was written in red dry-erase marker. Dom’s indicated it’d been six days since he’d acted like their boss, and onlyoneday since Austin had been caught making out with Caleb. My jaw tightened when I saw it had been zero days since Ethan got a customer’s phone number. The adrenaline coursing through my system was unwarranted, but I couldn’t stop the possessiveness lurking under the surface.Chill the fuck out.

“Oh god.” Ethan laughed. “You found our dirty secret.”

“Just don’t let the health inspector see that Austin and Caleb are getting freaky everywhere.” I managed a teasing tone as I tried to push the adrenaline away. “Do you get phone numbers often?” I blurted like a jealous chump. I was so out of sorts around him.

Ethan’s cheeks tinged pink. “It’s not me asking for them. Bartenders get numbers thrown at them all the time. Part of the job.” He couldn’t look me in the eye. “It’s more a way for the guys to tease me about my tendency to fall for people quickly.”

“Does that happen often?” I asked as I followed Ethan to the front.

He huffed. “Hence the whole no-dating New Year’s resolution. I have a habit of falling hard and fast, then getting dumped even quicker. I can’t trust my gut.” He kept his attention focused on organizing beer in one of the coolers.

I wanted to know anything and everything he would willingly share.“You don’t have to tell me anything, but if it helps to have someone to talk to, I’m a good listener. Someone you don’t live and work with every day.”

Ethan’s voice was thick when he thanked me. “There’s this thing that happens when I date someone. I try too hard to be perfect for them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Stupid shit like molding my personality and behavior into what I think they want. It’s like I have this need to please, so I twist myself all about. Or I take on people’s hobbies and interests. The guys give me tons of shit about it. I have a drawer of Portland Timbers gear I bought when I dated someone with season tickets. Haven’t worn any of it since.”

I understood Ethan’s dating ban much better, and the whole cold-turkey thing made sense. I wanted Ethan to feel like he could be himself around me, and at that moment, I decided I would do whatever it took to give him the space to do that. He was doing so much to help me that supporting him was the least I could do. We were still getting to know each other, but we’d built a fast friendship over texting. It meant a lot that he shared with me.

We fell silent for a few minutes.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why did you decide to become a lawyer?”

I accepted his conversation redirection and joined him in putting chairs on the tables. “When I was a kid, my uncle got injured on the job. The people who owned the warehouse he worked at tried to pull all sorts of crap to get out of paying for his medical care. My dad and their other sibling pooled the little money they had to hire my uncle a lawyer. If it wasn’t for the lawyer, my aunt and uncle would’ve had to declare bankruptcy, and he probably wouldn’t have recovered. The lawyer not only got their medical bills covered with a settlement, but they also got money to cover physical therapy above and beyond what my uncle’s insurance covered. He was able to recover most of his mobility. That lawyer changed their lives. I’m too squeamish to go into medicine, so this seemed like the next best option.”

The right side of Ethan’s mouth turned up in a soft smile. “I’m glad he got a great lawyer and it turned out okay.” He tilted his head. “How’d you end up doing real estate instead of helping people with injuries?”

I let out a humorless laugh as I flipped a barstool onto the bar. “It was the best internship offer I had in law school. I learned the hard way that sometimes luck plays as big a role in law specialty as interest.”

We moved on to talking about his aunt’s situation. I didn’t want to think about what my career could’ve been, and I’d bet money Ethan didn’t want to rehash his romantic history with a guy he was pretending to date. Despite the heavy detour in our conversation, I enjoyed hanging out with him.

After breaking up with my last boyfriend a year ago—scratch that, nearly two years—I’d thrown myself into work to make my partner promotion a reality even sooner than my original goal timeline. I’d been so focused that I hadn’t stopped to think about how much I missed being around someone. The little time I’d spent with Ethan showed me what I’d been lacking. Conversation, flirting, that twisty feeling in my stomach whenever they smiled at me. Ethan’s smile turned my stomach into the ocean during a winter storm.

Once we finished, we lingered at the bar like we had on New Year’s Eve. It was late, and it would hurt tomorrow if I didn’t get home soon, but I didn’t want to leave.

“Are you sure next Saturday is going to be okay for you?” I asked.

Ethan stood in front of me, leaning against the bar. “Yup. Seth is going to cover for me, which means Ty will probably be here too.” Ethan chuckled. The sound warmed me. “He’s like a barnacle attached to Seth.”

“I imagine Seth is loving it. If Nate followed me around everywhere, I’d hire a body double to throw him off my scent.”

I filled Ethan in on the party details. “I’ve got a guest room if you want to crash at my place, or I’d be happy to get a hotel room for you. In case you’re too tired to drive or want to drink.”

I held my breath. Not that I planned todoanything, but the prospect of spending more time with him? Having him in my home? Drinking coffee together the next morning? I wanted it. A tiny taste of a relationship to hold me over to some unspecified time in the future. Once I achieved partner, I could begin dating again since I wouldn’t be worried about paying my dues in the form of overtime.

Ethan’s attention dropped to my lips for the briefest moment. “Text me your address.”

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