Page 64 of Pitcher Perfect

Caleb:we’re not doing “Beer Babe”

Charity:I’m not, but I bet you are

Caleb:[gif of a man pinching the bridge of his nose]

Charity:go with the blue. The T-shirt looks like something you’d wear clubbing

Caleb:thanks :)

Charity:have fun and use protection

Caleb:please stop

* * *

I brushedinvisible specs of dust from the shoulder of the blue button-up hanging in my closet. Like I hadn’t already run a lint brush over it and pressed it last night after getting my sister’s input. I was embarrassed that my circle of people to go to for those kinds of things was basically nonexistent and I had to go to Charity for that stuff.

I laughed as I imagined Austin deciding what to wear. I could picture Ty and Ethan forcing him into trying on outfits and debating their merits while Austin called for Dom to intervene. They were the best group of guys.

Austin wanted to go on a date, a real date. I couldn’t believe it. Despite his initial reservations about things getting complicated, Austin was continually pushing himself. I had noticed moments where he’d seemed to catch himself, like he was surprised he wasn’t keeping more distance between us. I’d loved bringing him lunch after closing shop at the truck every day the past week and the grateful kiss he always gave me. I’d noticed he’d even stopped bringing in his nasty tuna sandwiches to wait for my food.

Nothing about our trajectory felt casual to me. My feelings for him certainly weren’t, and I wasn’t exactly downplaying them. We were far from any major declarations, but the foundation we were building felt solid, a nice roux to build from.

On my way to the shower, I picked up my phone from the dresser so I could play some music to get amped. Once I grabbed it, the screen lit up, and I saw I’d received a text several minutes ago.

Austin:Hey, I’m sorry to do this, but I need to cancel. A work thing came up and I can’t get away for dinner. I’m really sorry

I plopped onto my bed and read the text several times. With each pass, my stomach dropped farther to the ground. I couldn’t tell if Austin really was busy or making excuses to put some distance between us.What if I’ve been coming on too strong and he needs a way out? If that’s the case, wouldn’t he just talk to me?I thought we’d been honest with each other so far.

I fell onto my back and stared up at my ceiling.Well, fuck.He’d warned me the sex was only for one night. Despite the times we’d fooled around and flirted since, we hadn’t made any declarations beyond that. Sucking each other off in my apartment was one thing, but officially dating was another. That involved expectations and pressure—things Austin must not want after all.

Way to mess everything up, dumbass.“Arrggh.” I covered my face with my hands and blew out a breath. If I’d been more chill, given Austin the time he’d asked for, he might not be putting distance between us. He’d said not yet, and I hadn’t listened.Sure, he flirted back and suggested the date, but what if my behavior made him feel like hehadto?

After a few minutes of a pity party, I picked up my phone to text him back.

Caleb:no worries. I totally understand. I hope your work goes okay

Austin:thanks, me too

My eyebrows pinched together as I read the text again. That didn’t read like a brush-off. Maybe he really was busy. Something from a past conversation jumped out at me.Didn’t he say his exes accused him of working too much?I hadn’t given that much thought because I worked a lot too. We were entrepreneurs. It seemed like a given.But if he’s used to people not understanding, why would he think I’m any different?

My shoulders relaxed from hanging out below my ears. I knew in my gut that was it. Austin wasn’t someone who would make up excuses to distance himself from me. He was the Sophia of his group, a straight shooter, who was always open and honest with me.The expression on his face when he suggested the date?That was real. I had to believe that, had to trust that whatever we had, whatever we meant to each other, was something meaningful.

I sat up. I had a plan. First, I needed to call and cancel the dinner reservation, then I needed to make a trip to the market. I hung my shirt back in the closet for next time because I knew there would be one.

* * *

AUSTIN

With a heavy hand,I scratched out my last calculation and tore the notebook page.Fuck.I’d been out of sorts all day trying to get work done before the date, reconciling that I actuallywantedto go on a date with Caleb and might be ready for more, then getting word about the used brewery equipment and realizing I had to cancel.

I felt like I was on the edge of discovering a couple of ways to trim expenses to afford the used equipment I’d gotten a lead on an hour ago. It would get snatched up quickly, and I needed to be prepared to pitch the idea to the guys first thing tomorrow in case we had a real crack at it. Several breweries would be vying for it, but I hoped my connection to the brewery would put us at the top of the dibs list. I hadn’t kept in great contact with my mentor there who’d taught me how to take my home brew skills and level them up to a microbrewery operation, but he knew how important the place was to me. If we could pull it off, it would take so much pressure off my production schedule. I could manage an additional batch at any given time, which would be amazing for the Fred Meyer contract.

It might give me more time to hang out with the guys in the taproom. When we had first begun solidifying our microbrewery dream, we’d talked of unwinding after long days by enjoying our beer together. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d stopped working and sat at the bar with the guys to enjoy what we’d built. Sometimes Caleb might even join us since his workday began and ended before mine.Nope. Can’t think of Caleb right now. Gotta work.

The numbers blurred in front of me. I couldn’t focus for shit. My brain kept wandering to Caleb, and the guilt distracted me. In the hour since I’d canceled on him, I felt awful. I really had been looking forward to our date all week. Despite being a wreck about how and when I would eventually fuck it up, I had been excited to have that experience with him.

Dropping my elbows onto the desk, I tugged at my hair. I’d finally stopped being a chickenshit and taken a chance, then I’d fucked it up on the first go. The ghosts of ex-boyfriends past taunted me that the first good guy to come sniffing around in ages, and I had to blow him off for work the first chance I got.What else is new?

---