Page 31 of Just Watch Me

“That was even better than I’d imagined.” I heard a smile in Sky’s voice.

“So, you’d been imagining it.” I wasn’t even embarrassed by the obvious fishing.

He rolled his eyes then kissed my temple. “No. I didn’t think about fucking you at all after I caught you jerking off to me or after we watched each other jerk off. And Idefinitelydidn’t think about what it would be like to kiss you all over your body after we had phone sex and watched each other come again.”

“Okay, fair.” I laughed against his pec. “I knew you’d be amazing because that guy I saw you with looked like he’d ascended to the highest plane.”

“What can I say? I’ve got a magic dick.”

“Not gonna argue with that.”

We were silent for a bit, but nothing about it was uncomfortable. It felt like a natural progression of our growing comfort with each other. Somehow, I’d gone from catching glimpses of a gorgeous neighbor to hanging out nearly every day to having life-altering sex.What is my life right now?

“Are we okay?” he asked after a few minutes.

I looked up at him and gave myself a moment to live in the comfortable domesticity before reality snuck in. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

He idly massaged my scalp with his fingertips. “I guess I’m used to fucking strangers and leaving.”

My gut churned.Is this his way of saying he’s got to bounce?

He took a deep breath. “And this time I don’t want to.”

Without my permission, my heart took off like a rocket. The Fourth of July was right around the corner, and my heart was acting like the grand finale of a fireworks display. I knew he didn’t meanstay-stay, but I wanted him to mean that, and it terrified me. “Then don’t.”

“You sure?”

I kissed the closest part of his chest I could reach. “Absolutely. I know it’s complicated, but I want to enjoy the time we have together in any way that feels good to us.” I managed to say the words without choking on the lump in my throat.

Sky relaxed under me. “Does that mean I get to keep playing with your sweet ass while I’m in Portland?”

I trailed my finger across his stomach. “My ass would be disappointed if you didn’t.” I would deal with the fallout once Sky was far away in the land of theme parks.

Despite my brain being ready for round two, my body wasn’t yet. Since Sky didn’t seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere, we talked about what we wanted to order for dinner. The conversation flowed naturally from one topic to the next as we cuddled. Everything about it felt familiar somehow and filled an empty part of me. I ignored the hairline fracture forming in my heart. I’d finally experienced what it was like to truly be comfortable with someone, only to have it leaving in days.

When our tacos arrived, I yanked on my sweats to answer the door then just as quickly kicked them off again to crawl back in bed with the food. My apartment was small enough that eating dinner in bed with a naked man made perfect sense.

Sky dipped a chip into the small tub of guacamole. “If you had a free flight to anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?”

“Could I cash it in and buy a new car with it?”

He elbowed me. “No. Play along. Your fear of flying isn’t getting you out of daydreaming with me. I promise I won’t kidnap you and take you somewhere,” he said softly.

At that moment, I wanted him to. I wanted to travel everywhere with Sky by my side. We hadn’t been in each other’s lives long, and there was a ton we didn’t know about each other, but I knew the important things about him. What mattered was how he made me feel. I wasn’t used to listening to my gut, let alone trusting it, but it told me I would be safe with Sky.

“Free ticket and no travel anxiety? I’d stay in one of those underwater rooms where the fish swim around you all night.” When my wanderlust occasionally flickered with signs of life, I always ended up on YouTube watching video tours of those places.

Sky beamed at me. “That’s a brilliant idea. I’ve always wanted to try that out too. It sounds unnerving but amazing. It’s incredible the kinds of experiences we can have with modern technology.”

While our conversation shifted into undoubtedly nerdy territory as we discussed evolutions of technology, I let my mind wander and wish.What if I could have this for real? What if Sky and I could make it work? What if he wants something more with me like I do with him?

I had no idea if it was possible, but I wasn’t willing to let him walk out of my life. Even if we were only friends, I would keep the fire burning in case circumstances were in our favor someday. Putting my life on hold for him was ridiculous, but that wouldn’t stop me from hoping things might work themselves out. I wanted more time to figure out if he felt the same way about me as I did about him. Letting myself hope, as naïve as it was, lightly eased the sting of his looming departure.

CHAPTER16

The past week with Sky had been incredible. We hadn’t spent a night apart since we’d had sex, as though we were both holding on to our little bubble up until the last moment. The rational part of my brain waved red flags the size of Texas, but I ignored them. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew Sky would be getting on a plane that weekend and arriving in Orlando in time for the Fourth of July fireworks, but I wanted to live in our utopia as long as I could.

Trying to get any work done was useless. Between thinking about Skylar and waiting for my meeting with Rick, the characters on my screen blurred together in a meaningless jumble.

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