Page 10 of Just Watch Me

Logical thinking was the core of my job, and logic dictated that Skylar made me comfortable because he was a blip in my life, and I was merely a pitstop in his, a neighbor to bullshit with before he moved on to greener pastures. Deep in my mind, where my anxieties festered, I knew his opinion of me didn’t matter because he wouldn’t be around for long. I ignored the logical part of my brain that suggested most people I encountered daily were people I would never see again, yet I was still anxious around them. Like how I always fretted over making a mistake while ordering food, even though I knew I probably wouldn’t have the same server again, or if I did, they wouldn’t remember me.So, why am I so comfortable with Skylar?

His work had probably helped him hone his socializing abilities. Since he worked in tech, he had to be used to dealing with awkward and anxious introverts. Or he was a warlock, and he’d cast a spell on me because the other night, I’dtalked. Not simply answered his questions to be polite, but we had a legit conversation about a million topics that had nothing to do withLegion of Tomorrowand my job. We’d come to an unspoken agreement not to talk about work.

Before I’d known it, we’d polished off the food, shifted closer on the couch, and finished the beer in his fridge. We’d spent over four hours together. If I hadn’t had plans to game with my online friends last night, I probably would’ve tried to hang out with Skylar again.Yeah, right. Like I could be so bold.

I would have been embarrassed about imposing on him for hours if he hadn’t seemed so surprised by how fast the time had flown by too. His sheepish smile eradicated most of the anxiety that buzzed under my skin when thoughts of being an imposition had pushed their way in. I knew I would never be free of the anxiety because yay, brain chemistry, but it was revolutionary not to have it take over the interaction and instead, stay in the background on a low hum.

I’d spent hours with a man I’d jerked off in front of—and watched come twice—without giving it much thought. He distracted me with stories of his travels, debating the bestStar Warsfilms, and arguing over which Chris had the best ass.

Chris Evans has the best ass, obviously.

The me of two mornings ago would’ve laughed at the prospect of hanging out with a hot guy and not dying from awkwardness because surely someone like Skylar wouldn’t want to hang out with me. Except he did. And he hadn’t even made a move.

I frowned as I walked to my desk.Was that his way of making it clear nothing else would happen between us?I supposed that was what I wanted since we were working together. I would focus on my work, be cordial to Skylar, and keep my head down. That was the safest bet to protect my job and my heart.

After I settled at my desk, I booted up my computer to work on another project with Chad’s ridiculous timeline.

“I heard game design is looking for a couple of new people.” Ben gave me a meaningful look.

I’d never explicitly told him I wanted to move to game design, but he was a smart guy. He’d probably pieced it together from our conversations over the years. Sometimes I got a bit carried away when talking about that part of a project.

“I hope it doesn’t mean they’ll hire two more people without an understanding of programming and unrealistic expectations,” he added.

“Hopefully they’re good,” I mumbled.They’re hiring?It should be easy to simply express my interest in a role and put myself out there.Should be.It wasn’t. Odds were I would end up programming forLegion of Tomorrowand making other people’s ideas happen yet again.

“What are you gossiping about?” Chad strolled in, looking smug as usual.

I caught Ben rolling his eyes before he returned his attention to his screen. “Just hoping the game designers they hire are good,” Ben said.

“Tell me about it. I bet they’ll hire externally. It’s near impossible to get an internal promotion to another line.” Chad shot a glance in my direction.

I clenched my jaw.I know he wouldn’t want to lose me, but will he go so far as to directly discourage me from applying?Probably. If I ever found the nerve to apply to the game design team, I sure as hell wouldn’t tell Chad about it.

I let Ben and Chad’s speculation fade into the background and refocused on my work. I had a meeting with the consultants—with Skylar—in a little while. If I didn’t lose myself to the code, my anxiety would get the best of me, and I would head into the conference room shaking and dripping sweat. It was one thing to watch Skylar talk to a room of my colleagues but another to be in a room alone with him and his colleagues while trying to act cool, calm, and collected—and not at all like I’d seen him naked.

After a while, my calendar pinged that it was meeting time. Ben hummed a death march as I left our cube.Dork.I appreciated the levity though.

I took steady breaths as I walked to a small conference room. The door was open, so I knocked on the doorframe.

Skylar looked up from his tablet. “Jesse. Hey.” Creases formed around his eyes as he smiled. I’d gotten heavily acquainted with those creases the other night with his easy and frequent grins. They were addicting.

“Hey, Skylar.” I looked around the room but didn’t see any indication of his colleagues.

“You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid. I’m the one who talks with the tech folks. We each focus on a different part of the company.”

Being stuck with you doesn’t seem so bad.“Should I keep it open or close it?” I gestured to the door behind me.

“Your choice. I hope you’ll give me candid responses to my questions, so whatever you’re comfortable with.”

I closed the door then took the seat across from him. With fidgety hands, I smoothed the front of my T-shirt, idly worrying that I should’ve worn something more professional than another dorky shirt that read, “I got these muscles writing code.”

“Nice shirt.” Skylar’s heated gaze flashed so quickly I doubted I’d even seen it.

“Um, thanks.” I rubbed my palms on my thighs.

“Nervous?”

I let out a long breath. “Maybe. Should I be?”

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