Page 61 of When Hearts Awaken

“W-Why are you helping me? Don’t you hate me?” I whisper after taking a few gulps of water. “I rejected you that day.”

He freezes, and a thick lock of blond hair falls over his forehead, hiding his arresting eyes from view. I want to brush it away so I can look at him, but I don’t have the energy.

“You make me feel so damn much, Tay, so fucking much. Ishouldhate you,” he says, his gaze falling on mine. Under the dim glow of the hallway light, I see a muscle twitching on his forehead, his eyes glowing, drawing me in.

“But?” Exhaustion slams me and I shiver, the sudden chill sending my teeth clattering. I’m having a fever, but why am I so damn cold?

The dark ocean beckons me again, but I don’t want to go back.

But I’m so tired. Bone-deep weary.

“C-Cold, Charles. I’m fr-freezing.” I shake uncontrollably, my body desperate for the blankets to smother me once more. Curling myself into a ball, I tremble in bed, wishing I could be unconscious and put out of misery.

“Fuck.” I feel an icy hand on my forehead. “Burning. You’re fucking burning. If your fever doesn’t improve within the next hour, I’m taking you to the hospital.” I hear rustling noises, the clanking of a belt buckle, something resembling a zipper being yanked down, a few muffled huffs.

My body fights at the familiar sounds—the same sounds from that night—and just like that evening, I can’t move. A scream makes its way up my throat.

“Shhh…” he whispers and his familiar scent floods my nose, enough to stall the panic threatening to join the chaos.

Then suddenly, the mattress dips next to me and a pillar of heat appears at my back.

“It’s me, Taylor. You’re safe. I’m just keeping you warm, okay?” The words are gentle, reassuring.

He’s asking for permission. My fevered mind registers. The terror slowly subsides and I moan my acquiescence.

Strong arms appear around my waist and I shudder, but this time I’m not sure if it’s because I’m cold or if it’s something else.

Charles pulls me tightly against his front and surrounds me with his heat. He tucks my icy feet in between his and twines his large hands with mine before resting them on my stomach. Amid the headache, the shivers, my mind registers I’m plastered against him, his head resting on top of mine, his entire body enveloping me.

His naked, hard body.

Sparks of panic threaten to reignite as his intoxicating scent makes its way to my nose. My pulse kicks up, my breathing quickens.I need to get out, I need—

“You’re okay,” he murmurs, his voice raspy, and a soft shiver coasts down my sweaty body. “Safe with me. Always.”

He hums under his breath and I feel a pressure on my sticky hair, like he’s pressed a soft kiss there.

“Little firefly flying against the wind, buzz, buzz, buzz, I’ll never let it win…” he sings under his breath a familiar hymn—a song I could’ve sworn I’d heard before but that couldn’t be true, since it wasn’t a nursery rhyme Mom sang to us.

“My grandma used to sing this to us when we were sick,” he murmurs, curling his arms tighter around me.

“Tell me a story, something, a memory, anything,” I mumble, not wanting this moment to end. My mind is blissfully empty, even though my body is in pain.

I feel so treasured right now.

I hear a smile in his voice. “My sister loved to dance. I think you would’ve liked her. She was fiery, mischievous, full of life. She always told me she felt like each day was a present and we weren’t guaranteed the next day, so why live with constraints?”

Snuggling deeper into his hold, I feel my panic slowly receding. “You must miss her a lot.”

“Yeah. I do. Every fucking day. I used to tell myself I worked so hard for her and Liam, so they could do whatever they wanted with their lives without worrying about anything. So they could live without constraints. After all, someone had to do the boring stuff—running a large company. And I didn’t mind it. I liked the business.”

He rubs my arms, the gentle motions sending frissons of warmth inside me. “But I never listened to them. That’s not what they wanted from me. They wanted a brother who was present for them, but I was too deep in my mind to know…until it was too late.”

I fight the sleep threatening to overtake me. I want to know what happened, what made him hide behind this mask no one seems to see but me.

“The last time I didn’t listen to them, I lost them both. Firefly in the hospital, and Liam…he barely speaks to me anymore. I haven’t seen him in years. If it weren’t for Ethan, his best friend, I wouldn’t even know he was still alive. And that…that…” His voice catches.

“That kills you, doesn’t it? The people closest to you not seeing what you’re hiding in your heart,” I whisper, slowly turning toward him, even though the motion is making me seasick.

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