Page 2 of When Hearts Awaken

“It’s not the true story, little Tay,” Mommy whispered, tugging me to her side as we rode the subway back to our dingy apartment in the Bronx.

I clutched the beautiful white swan figurine to my chest. Mommy caved and bought it for me, even though I was sure it meant we’d be eating instant noodles for a week. But it was beautiful, one of those dolls that’d twirl and there was even a small compartment to store knickknacks.

“It isn’t?”

She shook her head, her warm eyes crinkling at the corners, but there was sadness in them—sadness she tried her best to hide. “You see, in therealstory, there once was a beautiful white swan named Odile, and she loved her older sister Odette so, so much. However, they had an evil father, one who couldn’t be there for them, but he was all they had left because their mother had passed away.”

I shifted in the hard plastic seat and leaned against her chest, listening to the steady drums of her heartbeat blending with the rumbling of the subway train on the tracks.

She continued, “Odile wanted a better life for her and Odette, because she knew they couldn’t count on their father. So, she worked really hard to be the smartest and the strongest swan. She’d catch the largest fish, swim the fastest, and protect the other little swans in the flock. But some of the male swans were jealous of her abilities. You see, they thought she was taking their jobs away from them.”

My breath stalled, dread coiled in my throat. “What happened?”

Mommy frowned, her eyes unfocused. “One day, they cornered her while she was hunting. They backed her into a patch of grass so tall it blocked them from view of the other swans. Ruthlessly, they pecked at her and plucked her beautiful white feathers off, one by one. She fought hard, but there were too many of them, and after all, she was just one female swan. Everything hurt and as she laid on the ground, bleeding from her wounds, she watched the dark red blood stain her skin. At that moment, she thought she was going to die. But then, if she did, who was going to protect Odette?”

My lips wobbled. Tears blurred my eyes. This story was sad and horrible. I wanted the fairytale—the poor princess getting her happy ending; a prince riding by in his golden carriage and sweeping her off her feet.

Mommy took my hand and squeezed it. “It was her strength and willpower that led her to recover. But this time, when her feathers grew back, they became black. As beautiful and inky as the nighttime sky. She realized she didn’t need to be the graceful white swan because she was the warrior black swan all along. She was a fighter. She vowed to become even more powerful and no one would ever hurt her or Odette again.”

Mommy yawned, her hand flying to her mouth. A few of her dark tresses had slipped out of her glittery updo—all part of her costume for work. Her dark eye circles were stark against the harsh fluorescent lights and thin lines appeared between her brows, but she was still the most beautiful person I’d ever seen…aside from the white swan I saw at the Met Opera.

My chest pinched. I hated seeing her so exhausted. But I knew if I told her that, she’d give me a sad smile and tell me everything was fine.

“Because it’s just us girls against the world,” she’d say. Maybe Mommy was the black swan in her story.

I shifted in my seat, raking in a breath of stale air, then closed my eyes. “I’m tired, Mommy. I’m going to take a nap. Can you finish the story of Odile later?” Maybe she’d sleep and get some rest too.

“Yes, sweetheart.” I heard the smile in her voice and slowly felt her relax next to me, her soft snores soon filling the air.

I wasn’t tired. Not one bit. My mind was filled with images of the fierce black swan, her shiny black feathers glinting like the sharpest blades under the pale moonlight—her armor against the world because the other swans ravaged and took from her.

Stole. Hurt. Maimed.

All her beautiful white feathersgone.

I decided then I didn’t like Mommy’s story. I wanted to be the perfect white swan dancing with her prince, even if they didn’t survive in the end. At least she got to be happy for a moment. She wasbeautiful.

It was magic.

Mommy never did finish telling me her story of Odile before she passed away years later, and I never asked, because I didn’t think I needed to know the ending, since come hell or high water, I was going to be Odette.

But I never thought there’d be a day when I’d finally understand what she was trying to tell me.

Because I end up becoming the black swan.

Chapter 1

Little firefly flying againstthe wind, buzz, buzz, buzz, I’ll never let it win…

The nursery rhyme Grandma used to sing hammers incessantly inside my mind like a broken record playing on repeat. Sitting next to the bed, I close my eyes.

The overhead lights are dimmed, a faint smell of lavender filling the air. I know if I opened my eyes, I’d see the silk comforter on the bed, the thousand thread count sheets, and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the glittering skyline of Manhattan. Luxury at its finest—the best money could buy.

But the stench. The acrid smell of antiseptic agents no fragrances could dispel. The incessant beeping from the monitors. The icy chill in the room.

There’s no comfort in the hospital.

“Little Firefly,” I rasp. Opening my eyes, I gently twine her hand in mine—her warmth the only thing telling me she’s still alive. “If you can hear me, please wake up. Everything is a fucking mess. Liam is on another bender. He still won’t talk to me, and the company…fuck!”

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