Page 77 of Twisted Knight

“The man who stabbed me—he had every right to do it. He was Emily’s brother. Emily, she was never the same after that day. She got more and more into drugs until she killed herself the day she turned eighteen… eighteen.” I shook my head and let out a defeated sigh. “I’ve watched my father hurt countless women, and I’ve hurt six girls… six until Luca did the thing I’d been too chicken to do and took him out.” I swallowed through the lump in my throat. “I’m a rapist, India. Nothing I will ever do and nothing I’ll say will ever change what I did or what I became. I’ve tried to atone for my sins for years and until you, I never thought I could get peace, but then I looked into your soulful eyes and the guilt, the pain faded… and you became right then the most important person of my life.”

She took a sharp intake of breath, and I could feel her rapid heartbeat against my side. The problem was by not seeing her face, I didn't know if it was fear or otherwise.

“I hoped that finding out that Sergio was not my father would somehow help, that I was not wired to be a monster, that I didn't share DNA with the scum of the world, but it didn’t, not really.” I took a deep breath and kissed the top of her head, inhaling the faint jasmine scent of her shampoo. “I am a monster, India, because despite everything I want you to stay here, with me, forever. Despite my past, my sins, despite the life I lead which is full of danger, blood and death, I want you to stay and love me. I want you to stay so my love for you can save the remainder of my soul.” I looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop myself from breaking down and shamelessly begging her to sacrifice herself to be with me despite not being worthy. “If I were a better man, I’d send you away to live a peaceful quiet life back in Calgary. I would wish for you to find a lovely husband, have kids, thrive, and be the amazing woman you are in the open, always safe. But I’m not a good man, and I love you… I’m addicted to you… I burn for you.”

She moved into my arms, and I tightened my hold on her. I was not ready for her to pull away or look at me. I was not ready to see whatever her eyes conveyed.

“I don’t want you to answer now. I want you to think long and hard about what a life by my side means. It’s not an easy life; there will be times when you hate it… maybe even hate me a little, but I can promise you that I will revere you, protect you with everything I am, and love you until my last breath and even beyond that if I have my say in this. Stay with me, India.”

I waited a couple of seconds, my heart pounding in my chest as I loosened my hold on her.

She got out of my arms and moved to look at me, her face strangely peaceful but not giving much away.

“It’s late.”

My heart sank in my chest; she wanted me to leave her to her thoughts. I nodded, moving from my spot on the bed. “Yes, of course, I—”

“Just get under the covers and hold me, Dom,” she said with a small smile before turning to her side and putting her glasses on the night table.

I stayed up, looking at her back with incredulity. She wanted me to sleep with her? After everything?

She reached behind her and moved the cover.

I joined her slowly, still disbelieving. I slid close to her, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her close to me, her back flush against my chest where she belonged.

She turned off the light and let out a sigh of contentment as she relaxed in my arms, nestling even closer to me.

“Are you not even going to say anything?” I asked in the darkness.

She moved her hand to rest it on my arm around her. “Whatever I will say you won’t listen. You’re too caught up in yourself to see it… to see yourself as I'm seeing you, as everybody is seeing you. But we’ll talk. We will but for now I just want to sleep in your arms where I feel safe. I need my eight hours of beauty sleep, Domenico. Not everyone is looking hot like you are naturally.”

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Whatever you want, Dolcetta, whatever you want,” I whispered before falling asleep, lulled by the gentle movement of her peaceful breathing.

* * *

When I woke up India was already gone, and once again I was taken aback by how deeply and peacefully I slept when she was by my side.

My life, my job, and my mind kept me on high alert, waking up at every noise, but not when I was with her. When she was secure in my arms, I was at peace.

I felt so much better today. I guessed all I needed was a good night with the woman I loved by my side.

I went back to my bedroom, took a shower, and finally was able to shave and trim my goatee—looking like myself again.

As I walked downstairs, I noticed how quiet the house was.

I made myself an espresso and was just sitting at the table when Luca appeared from the back door, dressed down in a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” He grinned at me. “I was just about to come to wake milady.”

I flipped him the bird as I sipped the caffeinated goodness.

“Where are the girls?”

“Sitting in the garden, they want to have a barbecue for the four of us.”

I looked out the window at the bright sun and faint breeze in the trees. It seemed like a good day for that.

“You look well,” he said with clear relief, leaning against the counter.

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