Page 79 of The Bargain

“More than life.”

“You take Timmy.”

She stopped. “I - can’t offer him the life you can. He deserves better than me.”

I shook my head. After everything, this was where we were at.I had changed, even though I hadn’t wanted to. I realized now that he needed love more than anything.

“You win.” I raised my hands in surrender.

“What?” She frowned.

I detailed her face. I was going to miss this woman. This innocent, much-too-young woman.

“Stay here for now. I’ll go back to Philly, and make the proper arrangements. Your six months are up. I will uphold my part,” I added, passing her and exiting the room.

“Why?” she asked.

I stopped and turned around. “Does it matter?” I replied, burying my hands in my pants pockets.

She turned to face me, chewing on her bottom lip. “No, I guess not, but I'd like to know just the same.”

I sighed. “Because you didn’t deserve all the things I did to you. Because you can give the boy so much more than I can and because I know you’re kind enough to let me see him whenever I wish.” That was the truth, at least close to it. How could I admit that I hated to be the reason she cried, the reason she hurt? That the only thing I wanted from her was her smiles, her tenderness, her… I gave myself a mental slap. There was no point ruminating now. I’d lost her.

“Of course, whenever.” Of course, she would agree. She was an angel this woman.

I nodded. “Very well. I’ll leave now. Have Jeremy give you the treatment plan.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as I turned to leave.

“Why?” I asked, not turning around. I was in pain; I didn't want her to see it. I didn’t want her to know she owned a part of me.

“For lying, for your loss.” Her voice was so gentle, so kind. A soothing balm on my broken soul.

“I’m sorry too.”

“Why?” she asked.

“For everything,” I replied and left without giving her a chance to stop me again.

Dean kept his word and left almost immediately. I almost felt bad about it, but then I remembered he had an apartment in Philly anyway. He’d never really come here before me. His life had been there.

I was relieved he’d allowed me to keep Timmy without a fight though.I was realistic enough to know it was a fight I would not have won.

I stayed in the manor for an extra two weeks, until Jeremy declared that Timmy was good to go and referred me to the best pediatrician in town.

Timmy got better so fast, it was hard to believe, but I could see the progress every day. His coloring was different, he had more energy, and he was turning into the infant he was always supposed to be.

Despite having spent most of my life in Philly, it felt so different being back.

I was now living in one of Philly’s best areas, in a two-bedroom apartment paid for by Beaumont Enterprises.

It was nice, safe, and spacious - so much more than I could have ever hoped for. It was also

furnished with all the luxuries I could have ever dreamed of. Every week, $1500 appeared in my bank account like he’d promised. I got everything he said I would. The only thing he’d yet to fulfill was to come and visit.

It has been almost three weeks since I’ve seen him. I’d prepared myself for seeing him again. Thinking he’d come because Timmy mattered to him... at least, as much as anyone could truly matter to Dean Beaumont. But he never visited, just sent emails asking for updates on Timmy’s progress. What I hated the most was the pinch of disappointment his absence caused.

I shouldn’t be feeling anything more than relief and yet, Philly didn’t really feel like home anymore. Despite school and Timmy and Dee, I missed the estate, Mrs. James, and God help me, I missed Dean Beaumont.

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