Mrs. James met me by the door and pointed upstairs.
She looked very upset. “Is young Timothy okay?”
“Yes, he is,” I replied softly, seeing the concern on my housekeeper’s face. I was trying my best to keep my irritation at bay.
After taking the stairs two at a time, I stopped in front of Amber’s bedroom. Her suitcase was already packed and waiting by the door. She was now folding the enticing red dress she’d worn last night in a duffle bag.
“Where are you going?” I asked, standing in the doorway to stop any escape attempt.
She froze for a second, her hands letting go of the dress. Had she thought I wasn’t going to follow her? “Away, before you kick me out.” She didn't even look up. Her voice was empty, defeated. I actually got her where I wanted her to be, broken. Well, I used to want her broken but not anymore.
“I’m not -” I sighed. I needed answers now. I could always try to justify what I did to her later.Can you?
“Look at me,” I commanded and she did, almost immediately. She was always so good at that.
“Who are you?” I asked, taking a step forward.
She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort. “Amber, Amber Collins, Opal’s younger sister.”
I nodded. “I should have known. It was so evident.”
Anger flared in her eyes. “Why? Because of the lame sex and blowjob?”
I pale at the realization of her words. I’d never even considered that part of the issue. I’d thought she was an over-experienced prostitute. Memories of how I’d treated her, of how I’d degraded her came back with a vengeance. I winced as a wave of disgust filled me.
“I - was not your first, was I?” I asked with dread. No, I couldn't be her first. She hadn’t bled. She hadn’t felt like a virgin. No, but she hadn’t felt like a prostitute either, had she? I remembered how much I’d marveled at her tightness around my cock.
She shook her head, but the way she looked away and broke eye contact, didn't settle well with me. She was hiding something else.
“Tell me. I deserve to know.”
She sighed. “What do you want to hear?”
“The truth. That’d be a nice change.”
She nodded. “Second. My high school boyfriend, we’ve learned as we went, so sorry if I didn’t meet your expectations. We only had sex a grand total of three times.” She snorted. “However, the blowjobwasmy first, so I think I deserve an A for effort.”
Fuck me!I was stunned by the revelation and how bitter she sounded. Something had changed between last night and today, but I wasn't sure what.
“How -” I took a deep breath as shame and dread settled in my stomach. I was almost scared to ask my question. “How old are you?” She looked so young, but I’d never imagined she actually was.
“I’m legal.”
“Not what I asked.” Still a fucking relief.
“Twenty-one.”
“Twenty-one…” I huffed. Talk about getting kicked in the crotch!
We had a thirteen-year gap. Thirteen years! That was basically a lifetime of experience. She was so inexperienced in everything, in intimacy, in relationships…in sex. My stomach dropped. I had always been so rough with her, degrading, even mean during sex. I’d used it as a not-so-passive-aggressive way of punishing her for making me feel so much desire, so much want. I’d punished her for just being her, because I couldn’t get enough of her.
I shook my head. I had missed all the signs.
Now I realized that all the times her fists had clenched or she’d gasped, had been due more to pain than pleasure.God, what have I done?
“But-” I took another step into her room and took a deep breath. I was finally close enough to smell her enticing perfume. Would I ever look at the cherry trees in the Garden the same way? “You…you wanted it, right? The sex?” I asked hesitantly. For the first time since I was a teenager, I wasn’t sure what to do or say.
She looked at me for a few seconds; it seemed like an eternity.Please say yes,I begged, already feeling the cold sweat beading on the back of my neck.