I shook my head. “I’m not her, Dee. I’m nothing like her.”
“No, honey, you’re not. You’ve got a heart and a soul.”
I frowned. “She did too. What happened about not talking ill of the dead?”
Dee sighed. “I’m not talking ill. And, yes, she did, probably, once - before the heroin and…everything else. She loved her son. That was obvious, but…She would have done it, you know.”
I looked toward Timmy’s room, knowing he was sleeping soundly. “Done what?”
“Sell the baby to Dean Beaumont. We all saw how hard it was for you, how many sacrifices you had to make to keep Timmy alive. Opal would not have done that. She would have taken the easy way out.”
“Never!” I exclaimed vehemently, but the little voice in my head screamed that Dee was right. Opal had taken me away from our abusive father, but she’d gotten money for it. And she’d left me when she’d realized she actually had to take some responsibilities. Still, she had saved me.
“I have to go,” I told Dee a bit more coldly than I’d intended.
“Honeybun, don’t be mad at me, please.” The warmth and sadness in her voice thawed my heart. Dee was the mother figure in my life. I knew how much she loved me. How she helped me and protected me.
“I just - She saved me, you know.”
“I know she did, but what I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to make yourself miserable or suffer because of ill-placed guilt or gratitude.”
“No, that’s not the case. This is for Timmy.”
“Okay…You’re not mad, right?”
I shook my head before realizing she could not see me. “No, Dee, of course not. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweet girl. Just remember, if it gets too much, you don’t have to take it. You can leave. We’ll figure something.”
I turned toward Timmy’s room again. “Yea I know.” But Timmy was paramount and I’d take everything Dean Beaumont could throw my way if that was the only way of ensuring Timmy was cured and could stay with me. “I'll call you again later this week. Love you, Dee.”
“Love you too sweet girl.”
My stomach growled, since I’d been here and eating my fill my stomach had woken up with a vengeance and I was eating a lot all right.
I was walking to the kitchen for food when I heard my name.
“Ms. Collins? Do you have a minute?”
I froze at the sound of Dean’s voice coming from the small library. It was never a good thing when he was seeking me.
I stopped at the threshold. “Yes?” I asked. He stood behind the small desk in the corner,
dressed in an impeccable suit with black pants, a white shirt, and a blue tie. Only the jacket was missing but I suspected he’d left it in his office.
He threw me a look before pointing at the computer. “It seems you forgot to close Google.” He turned the screen toward me, showing me the list of colleges I’d searched for.
“I - You said I could use it.”
I was not an idiot. I knew he was probably monitoring everything I looked at. This was probably also the reason why he’d set a desktop computer in the library, for control.
He sighed. “Just come in and close the door behind you.”
I took a tentative step forward and stopped again. This man was bigger than life, physically, in personality, and ego. Being with him alone in an enclosed room was overwhelming, suffocating on so many levels. What terrified me most was my attraction to him despite his coldness and despicable attitude.
He sighed again, his aggravation becoming more palpable. “What are you scared of? That I’ll fuck you? We can’t say it would be a first for you, can we? And believe me, if I fucked you, you’ll come back asking for more.”
I was not an expert on sex, far from it, but I believed his words. His confidence was oozing from him and his steps were so lithe, so calculated. He was all about precision.