Page 83 of Bittersweet Legacy

He pushed a little more and I winced.

“I’m sorry.”

I was about to ask what he was sorry for when he thrust forward, and the pain I felt took my breath away.

My eyes filled with tears as I gasped to fill my lungs with much-needed air.

“Shh,” He kissed my forehead, it was almost too gentle to be him. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t prevent that.”

“It burns,” I growled between clenched teeth, as tears ran down the side of my face.

He kissed the tears. I wasn’t sure if it was to comfort me or if he enjoyed it. I wasn’t sure what version of Caleb he was right now – Port Harbor’s Caleb or Stonewood’s Caleb.

He looked up and met my eyes, still immobile in me. His eyes revealed so much at the moment, it was like sex was bringing out his vulnerability. I could see his pain, his anger, his confusion and, dare I say, tenderness in his eyes.

He tried a slow shallow trust and I winced a little, making him stop again.

“No, no it’s okay. It’s better I promise.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly and pursed his lips as if he didn’t really buy it but he started to move, taking shallow, slow thrusts and after a few moves, the pain started to subside and the friction inside of me, whilst not really pleasant, didn’t feel bad anymore, it was actually an interesting feeling of fullness I quite enjoyed.

I raised my legs instinctively, wrapping them around his back, arching my back as his lips and tongue met my throat, my jaw, my mouth. He felt like he was eating me alive as his thrusts became faster, deeper.

“You feel… You feel….” he growled burying his face in my neck. His thrusts lost their rhythm, turned erratic, he tilted his head back and let out my name in a roar before falling heavily on top of me.

I ran my hand through his sweaty hair in a soothing gesture as we both tried to catch our breath and calm our erratic heartbeats.

He kissed the side of my neck before rolling off me and discarded his condom before coming back to bed.

As I tried to sit up, he pulled me to him. “Stay,” he ordered, pulling me toward him so I rested my head on his chest.

I stayed like that, my mind reeling about everything we shared and everything that was going to happen – in less than 48 hours I’d be gone.

Soon enough his breathing deepened and slowed, he was obviously asleep. I moved my head to look at his face. It was free of its perpetual scowl and hard lines – in sleep he looked completely different, at peace. It was the face of a boy I could have loved.

I jerked back at the thought making him stir. I realized, horrified, that I already was a little in love with him. It had started when we spent our day in Port Harbor, I’d known he wasn’t acting the whole time and I liked that boy, that undamaged version of him.

I enjoyed the glimpse of what we could have been, a boy he showed me again today when he made love to me ever so gently.

A boy it broke me to betray but I had no choice. I was giving him back what he wanted the most… his freedom.

It was the perfect way to say goodbye, I thought, as I put on my clothes and left his room and house behind as quietly as possible.

I enjoyed the 20-minute walk back to the Forbes house; it was a good way to clear my head and try to decipher if the deepening of my feelings for him were simply due to the passionate moment we’d just shared.

No matter what, there was no turning back, I could never gamble on a man like Caleb, he was too unstable. I would never be able to know who was the real him or when he was acting.

No, the decision I’d made was the right one, I would leave and move on, grieve this potential relationship and just forget it – there was no place in my life for Esmeralda Forbes’s considerations. Esme Danvers was coming back, no matter what it cost me – even if it was a broken heart.

Chapter 19

I looked at the clock as I stirred the bay leaves in the beef stew. It was almost 6pm and Archie would be home soon. After Theo’s funeral yesterday, I wanted to do something nice, create at least one decent memory with my brother before my escape.

Tomorrow I’d go to school and while Archie and Caleb would be in class and my father would be on his way back from Washington, I’d be getting into a car with Luke’s contact and disappearing for good.

I hated to admit that part of me wanted to stay, a small, potent part of me – a part that was asking me not to make any rash decisions, that there was still a chance for things to be OK here.

I shook my head with a frustrated sigh.No, Esme don’t do that. Caleb was grieving, he was not his normal self, you can’t take a shot on him. You can’t become Sophia. As for Archie, he will never be the brother you want him to be, he-

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