Page 79 of Bittersweet Legacy

I folded my hands on my lap, I didn’t have to fake my pain, my loss. I might not have known Theo for long but he was so kind, so childlike, I couldn’t help but grow attached.

I was going to miss our games on Wednesdays, I was going to miss his unrestrained joy at seeing me.

When we reached the cemetery, my father pushed me toward Caleb. I tightened my lips; everything was about appearances for my father and he couldn’t care less about Caleb or Theo – he just wanted to show the alliance between the Astors and the Forbeses.

As for me, I really wanted to be by Caleb’s side. I walked toward him, meeting his stoic face, straight posture, his shoulders were tense, he held his hands tightly in front of him.

No matter how much he was trying to hide it, he was grieving. I stopped by his side and pulled one of his hands from his tight hold and intertwined our fingers.

He looked down at me silently, his eyes full of wonder. I couldn’t blame him, we were not friends, not lovers, we were some weird enemies with conflicting feelings.

I gave him a small smile. He could fake it as much as he wanted but I knew how much he loved his brother; I knew about their secret meetings. He was ‘BB’ for his brother and burying Theo was taking away some of his softness, the little he had left.

Caleb turned back toward the casket but squeezed my hand, a silent thank-you for being here.

As the ceremony went on, I didn't have to fake the tears running down my face. Caleb pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned my head against him and it felt like he was the one providing me comfort – he’d just lost his brother and he was comfortingme.

As the casket was lowered into the ground,A Beautiful Endby J. R. Richards played in the background and I couldn’t contain the sob escaping me. I felt as if Caleb kissed the crown of my head. I looked up, and he was looking right ahead, did I imagine it? Of course, I did, it was not in Caleb’s nature to be caring or tender unless it was his way to act in public settings.

As soon as the funeral was over, Caleb and I split as I followed my own family to the car. I threw him a last glance before getting in and was surprised to meet his eyes, he was looking at me too.

Once we made it to the Astors’ manor, the place was already buzzing with guests offering their sympathy.

“I won’t be able to stay for long,” my father quickly announced, looking at his watch.

I nodded. There was no point talking and my mind was elsewhere, I was trying to find Caleb in the sea of people.

“Sophia and I will be away until Tuesday. You will be answering to your brother, do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” I replied, not able to conceal the underlying sarcasm in my voice.

He sighed, turning to Archie. “We’re going to the fundraiser for Senator Keaton in Washington. Make sure she behaves.”

I wanted to scream but now was not the place and I only had 48 hours of this misery to deal with, anyway.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to find my fiancé,” I offered and walked away before any of them could stop me.

I looked for Caleb everywhere to no avail. I exchanged a hug with Taylor and Antoine, who for once was on his best behaviour.

“Have you seen Caleb?” I asked him, knowing he was my best source here.

He nodded. “I saw him sneak upstairs.” Antoine sighed. “Caleb doesn't deal with emotions well, you see.”

Taylor snorted. “What emotions?” But she quickly recovered, looking sheepish. “Sorry, it was uncalled for.”

Antoine shrugged. “Maybe, but not totally inaccurate. Caleb feels though, but he doesn’t process feelings like normal people. He usually retracts from the world. I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to go to him now.”

I shrugged. “I’ll try, anyway. Which one’s his room?”

Antoine eyed me for a few seconds before shaking his head. “Eh… if anyone has a shot of making it out alive, it’s you. Take a right at the top of the stairs, fourth door on your right.”

I moved before I had a chance to overthink it. I was one of the few ones who knew how close Caleb and Theo really were, and if he sent me away, fine, but I owed it to Theo to try.

I knocked at his door but I was not surprised to get no reply.

“Here goes nothing,” I muttered as I opened the door without invitation.

I was not sure why I walked into his room, I didn’t even know what made me go up there to him, somehow, I saw his distress, his sorrow but he was so stoic. He was heartbroken but had to keep up appearances

---