Page 59 of Beauty and the Bayou

“He was out checking traps alone, wading in the waters like he’d done a million times, but this time he pissed off a bull shark.”

Juliet felt her mouth drop open.“Ashark?In the bayou?”

He nodded.“It’s rare, but bull sharks can swim up from the gulf.They’ve been found in the Mississippi, Lake Ponchartrain, and down here in the deeper waters.”

“Holy crap,” Juliet breathed.“I had no idea.”

“A lot of people don’t,” he agreed.He was staring at their hands.“But Tommy did.”

“He was attacked?”she asked quietly.

“Yeah.They can be aggressive if they feel threatened, like most things down here.They’re hard to see in the murky waters.They blend in, look like logs.”He swallowed hard.“The bigger ones don’t usually end up down here.But the babies can since they’re smaller.This one shouldn’t have done much damage, but it hit his femoral artery.He lost a shit ton of blood pretty quickly.”

His voice was softer and she could tell he was seeing it as he told the story.She squeezed his fingers.

“He called me, but he was a ways out and was unconscious by the time I got to him.The fucking shark was still there and when I was trying to get Tommy into the boat, it charged me.I slipped and fell and his tail lashed me across the face.”

God, she wanted to kiss him.He was clearly in a lot of pain and she had no idea how to help.But the need to do something tugged at her.

“The ambulance was already there by the time I got him back to the dock, but he died en route to the hospital.He’d just lost too much blood by then.It was too late.”

“Sawyer.”Juliet could hear the raggedness in her voice.

He looked up.“He was like my brother.We had plans to grow the business, to expand.We’d expected that our kids would grow up together, that we’d teach them to fish and boat on that same bayou.We were supposed to get old, pass the business on toourgrandsons, and sit our asses on the stools at Ellie’s every day and give stupid advice and tell stories that were taller every time we told them.But now…I can’t imagine taking my kid out there and teaching him to fish and hunt without thinking about Tommy every damned time.I don’t know how I’ll ever feel like it’s safe, like I can trust someone out there.Because he should have fucking known better than to go out alone.He should have been watching better, been more aware.He should have known that shark was there.But the bayou, the place I love more than anywhere else, took him away.And now I have to deal with loving and hating it equally, depending on it andwantingto be here, but also being pissed off…at the bayouandTommy…every fucking day.”

He sat, just taking in deep breaths, his hand still curled around hers.

Finally, after several long moments, he looked up.

She just met his eyes and nodded.“I get it.”

She did.Circumstances that were totally out of her control had changed everything about how she lived her life.

He swallowed and nodded, too.But then he surprised her.Again.

“I’m just like your mom,” he said.“I want everyone to wear hard hats and life jackets and come to me with safety class completion certificates and carry cans of mace in their backpacks,” he said.“Metaphorically.”Then he paused.“And literally.”

Juliet smiled.At least he was aware of it.“It’s because you care.That’s notbad.”

“But it’s holding them back,” he said.“They’re missing out on metaphoric spontaneous bike rides because they’re trying to makemefeel better.”

Her heart almost couldn’t handle this guy.The stubble and the self-awareness?Come on.

She squeezed his hand.

Sawyer blew out a breath.“I really want to get over it.I didn’t until recently.I wanted to wallow in it all.I didn’t fucking care if people were upset about how I was acting.But now, I see that I really want to be the guy I used to be again.”

“Oh, Sawyer,” Juliet said softly.“That’s not going to happen.”

His gaze locked on hers.“No?”

“No.What happened with Tommy changed you.Just like my stroke changed me.The stroke changed my brain.Tommy’s death changed your heart.And those aren’t things that can befixed.”Juliet paused, then said, “It’s part of you now.Stop waiting for it to be better or demanding that itgetbetter.You have to adjust.”

He dragged in a deep breath.“Compensate somehow.Like you do with the spill-proof cups.”

“Yeah.Figure out a way to do the things you want to do inside this new reality.”

“Youstarted coping by getting knee pads and mace,” he said.“For your mom.Youcompensated.She didn’t.”

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