Page 104 of Beauty and the Bayou

Sawyer.The guy who’dcaughther the other day, who’d kept heroutof the bayou day one, who understood how she felt about the water.

Juliet felt herself frowning.

She’d fallen in the damned bayou.Even with people right there around her.A couple of big, strong people.And with a life jacket on.She’d fallen into the bayou where there were snakes and alligators and sharks.

Because of Sawyer.Not that he’d meant to, of course.She didn’t think that.But he’d clearly overreacted.And then…he’d frozen up.

Once she was in the water and struggling with Cooper, Sawyer had frozen up.

It had probably been for only a minute or so, but it had felt excruciatingly long.Juliet put her hand over her heart.It was racing now, remembering how it felt to hold onto Cooper with her strong arm and try to paddle with her weaker side.She’d known she couldn’t keep it up for long.But she’d known that Sawyer was right there.That he’d come and get her.But he hadn’t.Not right away.Not at first.Not before she was terrified.

Juliet forced herself to take a deep breath.

Okay, part of her terror washer.Her past near-drowning, the fact that she never swam, that she was afraid of water, that she’d panicked once she’d ended up immersed by surprise.Sawyer hadn’t hesitated more than a few seconds, she was sure.But he wasn’t without his demons around the water.They’d clearly established that.She just wasn’t so sure they could both have water phobias.She couldn’t help him with his if she was freaking out.And vice versa.

They pulled up to the dock seemingly eighty-four years later.

Gabe and his kids climbed out first.Sawyer waited until it was just the two of them.

For some reason, Juliet couldn’t handle the idea of him helping her off the boat.She was jumpy and wet and cold, and the rain seemed to be an unrelenting mockery of her hatred for water.

She tried to scramble up the single step onto the dock, but Sawyer was right there, his hand on her elbow, helping to lift her up.When she stepped up onto the platform she swung around.

“Stop, okay?Just stop.I don’t need your help.Now.”

Okay, she probably hadn’t needed to add thatnowon the end.

He didn’t seem surprised though.In fact, he looked miserable.“I’m so sorry.”

“I just…” She took a deep breath and glanced around.Gabe and the kids had moved into the main office, out of the rain, and no one else was around.Juliet focused on the man in front of her.The man she’d fallen in love with.The man who lived a life that seemed like a horrible mismatch for her.“I don’t belong here.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

Her heart clenched in her chest.“Sawyer, I willalwaysbe a liability.That’s what you have to understand.The bayou, all of this…” She pushed her wet hair back from her face.“This place is physically demanding, and I will always have a deficit in that department.”

“You didn’t fall in today because of your stroke, Juliet,” he said, looking frustrated.“It was an accident, but I pushed you.It wasn’t you.”

“But it couldeasilybe me,” she said, feeling the fear still pumping through her veins, mixed with frustration over the truth of what she was saying.“If I was someone else, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen in.Maybe I would have grabbed the railing.Maybe I would have grabbed Cooper faster and pulled him back so you wouldn’t have lunged.Maybe you wouldn’t have worried and lunged at all, if I was someone else.Maybe I fell in partly because I don’t have good coordination.”She held up a hand as he started to speak.“Or maybe it all would have happened exactly as it did, but I would have been able to get Cooper back to the boat on my own.Thatwas on me.I needed your help for that when someone else wouldn’t have.And that freaked you out.And me.And Cooper.”

Sawyer shoved a hand through his wet hair.“I froze up, Juliet.I’ll admit that.And I’m so fucking sorry.I had this bad reaction to the bayou and having someone else I love out there, in trouble, needing me…” He blew out a breath.“And I can’t promise that won’t happen again.”

Juliet nodded, swallowing hard, forcing down the lump in her throat.“I know you’re sorry.I know it was an accident.”She took a breath.“But, I don’t know if we’re a good combination—you, me, and the bayou.”

Sawyer shook his head.“God, please tell me that’s not true.Please tell me we can work this out.I can do this, I promise.I can get my shit together and be there to help you when you need me.I swear it.”

Juliet shook her head.If she started crying, no one would be able to tell if the drops on her face were tears or rain, but she had to hold it together until she was alone because she feared she was truly going to crumble.

Sawyer pulled himself up out of the boat.Juliet started to turn away, realizing that staying around long enough for him to get close had been a huge mistake.

But he caught her wrist and made her turn back.“Your mom learned,” Sawyer said, leaning in.“She was scared.She probably froze up sometimes, too, but she learned, right?”

Juliet sniffed.“The thing is, Sawyer, eventually… I left.”Her voice got softer.“She doesn’t have to worry about the bike rides and what might happen because she’s not there waiting for me to come home now.”

Sawyer’s jaw tightened.“I want to be waiting for you to come home.”

“It will get old,” she promised him.“You are a protector.You will worry.And I can’t promise you it will get better.It won’t.You worry about Tori and Josh and Maddie and Owen and Kennedy.But they can fix things.They can do better next time.”She swallowed.“I can’t.”

“Jul—”

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