Page 9 of After All

“Peyton doesn’t have many thoughts and feelings she doesn’t express,” Hope said, almost apologetically.

Well, he couldn’t disagree with that. When Peyton was pissed, you knew it. When she was hurt by her dad, you knew it. When she thought you were smothering her, you knew it.

“And she thinks she’s like JoEllen,” Hope added. “And there is nothing that Peyton wants to avoid more than being like her mother.”

Peyton’s mom was sick. She had, evidently, been diagnosed as bipolar when Peyton was very young. But it wasn’t her mental illness that Peyton hated, Scott knew. It was the way that JoEllen used it to control her husband. And how Dan used it as an excuse to focus everything in his life on Jo. She was a manipulator and Dan was an enabler. Everyone in town knew it. Everyone in townsawit. It was no big secret. But it had kept them both from being parents to Peyton. She’d been Sapphire Falls’ charity case as a little girl, and then on her own as soon as she was old enough to be. Or as soon as she was old enough to no longer want to be pitied.

The whole thing made it very difficult for Scott to be nice to her parents when he ran into them around town. And he didn’t think he was the only one who felt that way.

“Peyton’s nothing like Jo,” he said. “She’s strong and independent and totally focused on her friends and the people she cares about.”

Hope nodded. “I think so too. But when she was a kid, Peyton saw Jo’s manipulations and problems as a way of getting Dan’s attention. So Peyton used the same tactics. She got into trouble, caused problems,neededDan to come get her and clean up her messes. It’s an old, bad habit, and she was using it when she met you too. She pushed her boundaries with you over and over for a long time.”

Scott couldn’t deny any of that. “But she’s grown up.”

Hope shrugged. “I’m not the one who has to believe that. She is.”

“And she thinks me being there for her is similar to how Dan’s made JoEllen the center of his entire universe at the expense of everything else?”

But even as he said it out loud, Scott groaned internally. Peyton wasnothis whole life. But okay, she did take up a lot of his time and energy and thoughts and…

“Fuck,” he muttered.

Hope laughed lightly. “Listen, personally, I love having someone so enamored with her.”

“Don’t use words like enamored,” he said. “I have a feeling that would make her break out in hives.”

Hope looked vastly amused. “I think you’re right.”

“And you think that’s why she’s not calling or texting? Because she doesn’t want to be needy?”

Hope nodded. “I do. And maybe in an attempt to not be on your mind all the time.”

“It doesn’t work that way,” he said. “It’s not like I only feel that way when I hear her name or see her.”

“I know.”

“And she’ll never understand that? Or understand that it’s okay?” he asked, feeling a stupid sense of desperation and wishing like hell he could hold it back. But there was something about Hope Bennett that made a person feel comfortable being totally open. Even about things they hadn’t been totally open about with anyone else. Even themselves. But yeah, he was fuckingafraidthat Peyton would never come around.

Hope gave him a sympathetic look and reached out to squeeze his arm. “Maybe you need to needhera little bit too.”

“Need her?” Hell, he could make a very long list of things he needed from Peyton. And they didn’t even all involve her being naked. He needed her to laugh, he needed her to feel safe, he needed her to know she was amazing. He took a deep breath. Okay, not what Hope meant. He knew that. But he wasn’t great at needing things for himself.

“Yes,” Hope said thoughtfully. “She needs to be needed. She comes to her friends’ defenses all the time when someone does something shitty to them, but it’s always…”

“Crazy? Over-the-top? More than necessary? Stuff they don’t even ask for some of the time?” Scott filled in, some of his frustration bleeding into his words. Peyton was loyal and tough. But it was almost as if she was channeling a shit-ton of rage into standing up for her friends when they’d been slighted.

Huh, Scott thought as that idea went through his head. That was pretty much exactly what she was doing. Like jumping on a plane to Baltimore with Heather at the last minute with very few details. She was doing stuff for people that no one had ever done for her. And then some.

Hope nodded. “I just really think she needs to be needed for more…normal stuff. Everyday stuff.”

Everyday stuff. That was what he was fricking trying to do. The woman wouldn’t even agree to go to a movie with him. He huffed out a breath. “And I shouldn’t be there every time she calls?” Scott asked.

“I think it’s great that you’re there when she calls,” Hope said, shaking her head. “I just don’t think that you need to go hunt her down in Baltimore when shedoesn’tcall.”

“Yeah, okay.” That would mean squelching several of his instincts regarding Peyton, but yeah, okay.

Just then, something caught his eye over Hope’s shoulder. A group of kids had just entered the square. Which wasn’t unusual, exactly. But it was just after seven on a Friday night and those kids were only in sixth grade. And they were huddled around something that they seemed very excited about—and very interested in hiding.

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