Page 85 of After All

Peyton nodded. “Yes. It really does.”

“But I don’t know how effective it can be if she’s miserable and doesn’t want to be there.”

“It’s not unusual for people to not like doing things that are good for them,” Peyton pointed out. She really hated running. Her friend Tess had tried to get her into it, but Peyton hated it. Even though she knew it was good for her. Of course, she hadn’t stuck with it. Or the gluten-free thing she’d tried. Or cutting back on her drinking. Or getting a degree before now. All of which also would have been good for her. But she hadn’t liked any of it. Peyton shook all of those thoughts off. This was about Jo. And Dan.

Dan slumped slightly in his seat. “I know. But I can’t handle it when she’s unhappy.”

Peyton frowned and leaned in. “What is that about?”

He frowned back. “She’s my wife. I love her.”

Peyton shook her head. “No, this is more than that. You know rehab would begoodfor her. That she could be even happier when it’s over. But you don’t encourage it. You don’t push her. You show up the second she’s not having a good time. Is it really because you miss her that much? You really can’t be alone, even if it’s for her own good?”

She had never gone into this with her father. Peyton hadn’t been surprised even the first time Jo had quit rehab. Jo had gone on and off of her meds, started and stopped therapy, started and stopped support groups, all of Peyton’s life. She’d tried everything from meditation to adopting pets to trying Hope’s essential oils. She’d never stuck with anything. And Dan had never pushed. He’d never made her do anything that was difficult or that made her even a little unhappy.

Again, Peyton thought about all the thingsshe’dstarted and quit in the past, and then shook it off. She could think about all of that later. Maybe.

Dan was tracing his finger up and down the butter knife by his hand. It almost killed her, but Peyton stayed quiet, hoping that he would answer her. And that when it came, the answer would make sense. Because her parents and their craziness—some of it literal—had been a cloud she couldn’t shake. She would love some actual insight into the whole thing. She would also love to think that Danhadsome actual insight.

Finally, he looked up. “That woman isn’t easy,” he said. “She’s got a lot of problems. Some that she can’t help, some she can. And I don’t think very many people would have stuck around for her. But I make her happy. And I made her a promise, to always be there. In a world where everything seems to be working against happiness and people sticking around and keeping promises, that’s something that’s made me proud for a long time.”

Peyton felt like she was holding her breath. That was kind of like what she and Scott had talked about the night on the hill—the fact that there was so much fightingagainstthe happiness and that it was really important to do things to keep it going.

Without overthinking it, she reached over and covered her dad’s hand. “You've given up so much, though. Areyouhappy?”

Dan was clearly surprised by Peyton’s touch. He lifted his eyes to hers. “Yeah, I have given things up. That’s why it’s important that I’m here for her. She needs me.”

Something in his voice made her pause.She looked closer. He looked…she wasn't sure. But not sad or upset. He looked determined.

“So you don't want it to be different?You don’t want her to get help and get better?”

He took a deep breath. “Well, that’s not going to happen. So that makes my decision to stay matter.”

Peyton frowned, thinking about what he’d said. “Your decision to stay? You mean, instead of leaving Sapphire Falls with Melody?”

Melody was Hope’s mother. She’d spent a summer in Sapphire Falls and had met and had a fling with Dan. When she was ready to leave at the end of the summer, he’d chosen to stay in Sapphire Falls. With Jo. He hadn’t known he had a daughter with Melody until Melody passed away and Hope came looking for him.

Dan finally nodded. “Yeah.”

“You loved her, didn’t you?” Peyton asked.

“I did,” he admitted. “But she didn’t need me. Jo did. So I stayed.”

“And if Jo stops needing you, then all of that sacrifice was for nothing,” Peyton said, putting the pieces together as she spoke.

Dan didn’t confirm that. But he didn’t really have to.

“You don’t want Jo to get better,” Peyton said quietly, stunned. “You want her to need you.”

He shrugged. “She can’t get totally better, Peyton.”

“And that’s okay with you.”

“We’re making it work,” Dan said.

Except that they really weren’t. Jo was dependent, Dan was an enabler, and their daughter had been on her own almost from the beginning.

Peyton pulled her hand back. “I guess I never realized…that this reallyiswhat you want,” she said.

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