Page 63 of Fractured Trust

He paused. “Yours too, Sunshine. Yours too.” There was a different note to his voice when he said those words, but she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“Goodnight, Noah,” she said, her chest aching.

“Goodnight, Summer.”

She hung up, then put her phone and her book down on her nightstand. After turning off the light, she lay down but didn’t close her eyes straight away. Staring up at the dark ceiling, she ran the conversation over and over in her head. The warmth she was feeling told her she was playing a dangerous game, but she was too tired to worry about it right then.

It was only as she was being pulled under the blanket of sleep that she remembered she’d been planning to tell him he probably shouldn’t call her anymore.

* * *

Noah didn’t end up calling her again for another few days, although he continued messaging her regularly. After a few more late-night conversations, she realized he usually called whenever he was staying the night at a hotel instead of on the bus. By then, she’d managed to convince herself there was nothing wrong with talking to him on the phone. And if she was helping him to sleep, the last thing she wanted was to take that away from him.

She was still seeing her therapist once a week, and every day she practiced her mindfulness techniques. She’d also forced herself to start going to the rock-climbing center Noah had taken her to, pushing herself to get past her nervousness, even when Noah wasn’t there to catch her. Because she was sick of living with fear and guilt and regret. Those emotions had shaped her life for the last decade; taken who she wanted to be and carved a different person from the clay of who she was. She wanted to re-form herself into someone else. Not the person she’d once dreamed of being as a teenager, but someone who would be able to live a full and satisfying life.

Slowly, she was gathering the threads of herself and weaving them back together, as much as she could, with her heart still aching for Noah, anyway. Every time his name flashed on her phone screen, her heart would surge with excitement. And every time she hung up after talking to him, her throat would tighten and tears would well up in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. And while she hoped that with therapy, she’d be able to have a fulfilling relationship one day, it hurt to know it couldn’t be with Noah. She wouldn’t know until it was too late whether her trust issues would kick in, and she could never risk hurting him again or doing anything to ruin his career.

Summer sighed as she poured herself a glass of wine and curled up on the couch. It had been a good week at work. They’d made significant progress in signing up several interested recording artists, and now had a wide pool of charities that needed the support. She should be happy; she was finally getting her life together.

And yet, all she could think about was that Noah hadn’t messaged or called her today. This was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid when she’d left him again, the worry, the constant wondering what he was doing. She should never have let herself talk to him, to begin to rely on his contact to reassure her. He wasn’t hers; she wasn’t his, and she had no claim on his time. She needed to remember that.

The clock on the wall caught her eye, and she reached for the remote control, clicking the television on. Eden had mentioned that the band had been interviewed for a television show earlier this evening, and the segment was about to air. She knew she shouldn’t watch it, but she couldn’t resist tuning in, anyway—indulging in her unhealthy Noah addiction.

She sat through the usual comedic monologue, and several skits before the host finally introduced Fractured. The band strode out on stage and Summer’s heart stalled at the sight of Noah’s smiling face, his big, muscular body showcased in a tight white t-shirt and torn jeans. He took his place behind the drum kit, twirling his sticks and grinning over at his friends before they launched into the band’s current hit single.

Summer rubbed at her chest as she watched him play, watched his face light up as he got lost in the beat, and she knew she’d done the right thing by letting him go again. She couldn’t risk him losing this. Not for her.

After they finished up the song, the guys trooped over to the couches and sat down to chat with the host, who started out asking several questions about the album and the tour. Summer soaked it all in; greedy for the sight of Noah laughing and talking animatedly after all these weeks of her only connection to him being through her phone.

After a few more questions, the host asked the guys to stay for a bit longer, then introduced the next guest, Miranda Dawes, Hollywood’s current ‘It Girl’.

Summer’s smile slowly dimmed as the stunningly gorgeous woman strutted over to the stage and nestled her perfect body on the couch next to Noah. She smiled and greeted the host, then turned to the guys, leaning forward to say hello to all four of them. Her brilliant smile landing on Noah last of all.

Summer’s pulse throbbed hollowly in her throat as the beautiful, vivacious woman laughed and chatted with the guys, leaning into Noah as she exchanged banter with the host. At one stage, when Noah commented on a funny story she was telling about her last movie, she casually put her hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze. It was a strangely intimate gesture, but Summer had no clue if that meant they had been intimate before, or if that’s just how Hollywood people were. But when Noah smiled back at her, his dimple flashing, Summer switched the television off, an ache blooming in her chest.

It was almost one a.m., and she still hadn’t heard anything from Noah. She knew these shows were filmed earlier in the evening and aired later, so he wouldn’t still be caught up with filming. Not that he owed her anything, it was just that she’d gotten used to hearing from him. And even though they weren’t together, she’d let herself fall into this strange limbo world where he still occupied every part of her heart.

Summer turned off the table lamp and went into her bedroom, brushing her teeth and then sliding into her bed. She stared sightlessly up at the ceiling as she thought about the actress’s hand on his leg, the way he’d smiled at her. And the fact that the interview was over hours ago and Noah hadn’t been in touch.

She’d been so deep in her thoughts that when her phone did beep, she startled. The ache in her chest grew when she picked it up and saw Noah’s name on the screen. She chewed her bottom lip, then swiped the message.

Noah: Are you awake?

Summer hesitated for a couple of seconds, then typed a reply.

Summer: Yes

A few seconds later, her phone rang.

“Hi, Noah,” she said.

“Summer,” his voice was rough with exhaustion. “I didn’t want to wake you up, but I just really needed to hear your voice.”

The ache grew, a dull throb of longing spreading through her body. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, we’ve been going all night. I was planning to call you earlier, but Drew had scheduled us back-to-back promo appearances. I kept hoping to get a long enough break to talk to you, but when I realized how late it was, I figured I should just leave it until the morning.”

“But you didn’t.”

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