“I’m going to give you exactly what you need, Sunshine. But I have to do this my way. It’s been so long… too long. I need to take this slow. I need… I need…” He groaned. “Fuck, I need too much.”
The tone of his voice sent goose bumps rippling down her arms. Last time they’d been together, they’d both been teenagers. Crazy in love, passionate, but still teenagers. Now she was a woman, and he was all man, big, muscled, and so damn self-assured. If he’d made her crazy with lust back then, what he was doing to her now was nothing short of incendiary.
As his hands smoothed gently over her skin, his fingers shook with the faintest of tremors. It wasn’t nerves. The coiled tension in his muscles told her he was restraining himself, holding back. Whether it was from a desire not to scare her, or because he wasn’t sure what he was capable of doing right now, or maybe because his emotions were as mixed up as hers, she wasn’t sure. What she was sure of was that she didn’t want him to hold back. She wanted to feel everything, to experience every intense second. She wanted to imprint the memory of his touch on her skin, the scent of him, the feel of his muscles under her hands. And she wanted to experience everything that he was feeling. Because who knew what tomorrow would hold for them, two weeks from now, two months. The only guarantee they had right now, was tonight, this moment, and she wanted it all.
Summer grabbed his hands to stop him touching her and climbed off his lap, giving him a reassuring smile when his eyes flashed to hers, desperate need glowing in their blue depths.
After backing up a few steps, she reached up behind her and undid the clasp of her bra. The straps slipped off her shoulders, and she let it drop to the floor by her feet. She’d always been a little insecure about her body when they were younger; had never liked standing naked before him. Too worried she wouldn’t be enough. She didn’t know if she’d grown in confidence over the years, or if the want in his eyes was enough to overcome her insecurities, but she stood now, back slightly arched, and watched him take her in. His eyes dropped to her breasts, her nipples hard and jutting, and he swore, reaching down to rub his cock through his jeans.
Just that one little sound and one little action sent a surge of lust rocketing through her. Two steps and she was standing right in front of him. Her thumbs hooked in the waistband of her panties, and she slid them down over her hips, stopping just before she would have exposed herself to him. Noah’s gaze was burning now, skipping between her eyes, her breasts, and where the small piece of satin barely covered her sex.
“What are you doing, Summer?” he rasped.
“Please don’t hide how you’re feeling from me. Not about this. I need you to let go. And I need… I need you to help me let go too. This? Everything that’s happened the last few days? It’s too much. I don’t know how to feel about anything anymore. So right now, I just want to feel you, Noah. If you want me tonight, you need to promise me you won’t hold back. That you’ll give usbothexactly what we need.”
His breathing was harsh, jagged, his gaze boring into her, emotions flashing through his eyes too fast for her to identify. Then he gave her a sharp nod. “Okay.”
Keeping his eyes locked with hers, Noah reached up, brushed her hands away, and hooked his fingers in the sides of her panties. She half expected him to rip them off, but he edged them down instead, brushing a kiss against her lower stomach. Her abdominal muscles quivered as his tongue slid along her sensitive skin. He continued feathering kisses lower and lower, his mouth following her panties down until finally, his mouth hovered just above her clit.
Summer’s breaths were coming in ragged pants by now, her muscles trembling. The slickness between her thighs, evidence of just how on edge he had her.
Finally, Noah slid her panties all the way off and let them fall to the floor. Summer waited with bated breath for the first touch of his mouth, but it didn’t come. Instead, he curled his hands around her hips and stared at her, his fingers twitching against her skin and the tic in his jaw telling her he was still reigning himself in. Just before she was going to beg him to touch her, he looked up, something a little wild in his eyes she’d never seen before. Gone was the devilish grin, the twinkle of mischief that always used to reside there when they made love. This was a combination of lust and anger and regret and something she couldn’t quite name.
Using his hold on her hips, he tugged her down, maneuvering her until she was lying across his lap, one arm holding her against him, while the hard bulge of his erection pressed into her upper thigh. His free hand traced over her skin, a slow dragging touch to begin with, his fingers running from her knee up the inside of her thigh and back down again. The next time he reached the top of her thigh, he paused to ease her legs farther apart, then let his fingertips skim softly along the seam of her sex, brushing over, but not pressing against, her clit. His breathing had deepened as he touched her, but still, he didn’t rush the way she was expecting him to, just kept skimming his fingers over her.
Exploring.
Relearning.
When his eyes flicked up to hers, his pupils were dilated, jaw clenched. “I need you to come on my fingers first, Sunshine,” he said. His voice was still taut, tension still evident in the rough edges of his words.
Summer wet her lips and nodded, her heart thundering. She was so aroused she could feel wetness on her thighs.
His eyes dropped back to where his hand was still stroking lightly over her. Then, finally, when she thought she was going to scream from frustration, his fingers slipped lower, deeper, one of them tracing around her entrance before sliding into her. Summer whimpered as need and anticipation twisted in the pit of her belly. He’d only just begun and already she was close.
While he continued easing his finger in and out of her, he bent his head to her breasts, sucking one of her nipples into his mouth. Hard. She moaned and thrust her chest toward him. The contrast of the sharp pull of his mouth and the leisurely stroke of his finger sent heat searing through her.
Moving from one nipple to the other, he sucked and licked, rolling his tongue around the hard peaks until she was moaning. He pulled his finger out of her and circled it around her clit, slow, then fast, until she was gasping and pushing herself against his hand.
“Are you close, Summer?” he said. Tension vibrated through his voice again, but this time it was all lust. There was none of the turmoil that had filled it before.
She nodded. “Yes. God, yes.”
Instead of continuing to tease her clit, he dipped his finger back into her. After a few slow, languorous strokes, he worked another finger in, curling them against her inner wall, finding that spot that made her whole body jolt. She ground herself against his hand; desperate for a release that Noah was apparently in no rush to give her.
Summer’s back arched. Liquid fire rushed through her veins as his fingers slid in and out, in and out, the pressure inside her building until it robbed her of the ability to think. Robbed her of the ability to feel anything but what he was doing to her. No guilt, no pain, no anger. Just him.
Her pulse was hammering in her throat, hunger and need surging through her. But Noah’s movements never sped up. There was no tremor in his fingers now. His eyes were locked on what his hand was doing, apart from occasionally flicking up to her eyes, her lips. The turmoil he’d been filled with before was gone as he focused completely on her—on her pleasure. As if this was what he needed; to see her come apart for him. To know she was lost to what he was doing to her. To what he’d always done to her.
As if he’d read her mind, his eyes met hers. “Do you like the way I touch you, Summer? Do you like having my hands on you again?”
“Y-yes.” Her answer was choked as he brushed his thumb against her clit.
“I didn’t hear you, Sunshine.”
Summer squirmed against him, hungry for what he was withholding.
“Yes,” she breathed. “I love it.”