Page 57 of The Darkest Knight

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The dogs were fast asleep in front of the fireplace and the glow of the full moon shown through the window as Seth and Reese lay in each other’s arms in his bed. A silence had fallen over them, but it was a natural, no-pressure peace.

She cuddled in the nook of his arm with her head nestled on his chest while he played with a tendril of her hair, twirling it around his finger, letting it drop then picking it back up.

“I haven’t done this in a long time,” she said in a quiet tone.

“Neither have I,” he admitted.

“I can’t promise I’ll stay all-night, but I like this. I like being here close to you.” Her fingers danced along his chest.

“There’s a start to everything. You might sleep like a baby. Don’t count it out.”

“Seth? What was it like for you during the explosion?”

“Chaotic.”

She lifted on her elbow and the moonlight illuminated her delicate features. “You know what I’m asking. Did you have that life-changing moment, you know the one I’m referring to where our lives flash in front of our eyes, all the regrets and fears?”

He lowered his hand to her shoulder, rubbing the silken skin. “I didn’t have any thoughts, really, except to finish the mission.” His gaze naturally focused on the wall, but he saw nothing through his thoughts. “When I realized what had happened, something shut off inside of me. Then I had one target and that was to bring the bastard Torsev down. I wouldn’t have stopped until I had him right where I wanted him. I killed him, Reese, and I didn’t regret it. I never will. Does that make me a monster?” The words flowed so easily. He’d never trusted anyone with his feelings before.

“No, Seth. You’re not a monster. You’re one of the kindest, most compassionate men I know. Torsev was the monster.”

“The man was willing to harm innocent people. It was all a set up that day. Somehow they knew of the mission and he’d sent his men out, a look-alike, and all the while he hid inside of the building.”

“You saved many lives by doing what you did. He was destructive and someone had to stop the madness.”

He shrugged. “But nothing brought back my unit.”

“When I woke up in the hospital,” she returned her head to his shoulder, “I remember feeling so alone, but it wasn’t a normal alone. It was a shrewd awareness of the things I didn’t have in my life. How much time I’d spent helping others, but never thinking of my own life.”

“Regret is a terrible thing. Sitting on the fence between life and death, we should never be thinking I wish I could have… I should have….” He sighed. “We should know we’ve done everything to be happy, and make a difference in others’ lives. Angelina’s death is proof that just because we’re good people doesn’t mean we get as long as we deserve.”

“Was Angelina married?”

“Close once. I don’t know the entire story because she never talked about it, but there was a lot of heart break involved.”

“Seth, I have a confession.” She stilled her hand on his stomach.

“What’s that?”

“I accidentally came across the letter Angelina had written you. I shouldn’t have read it, I didn’t have the right to, but I was compelled. I’m glad I did, but I needed you to know. Don’t be angry.”

His heart skipped a beat. “I’m not angry. She had written a letter to me and my brothers a few months before her death, when she realized that her time was close. I haven’t seen my brothers since her funeral.”

She shifted so that she rested her chin on his chest while her gaze was on him. “Really?”

“We don’t share our feelings very much, but the closest we got was at the funeral.”

“I’m glad you’re sharing now. I think it’s important for you to know that I’m not putting any expectations on you.”

He blinked “Uh, not sure what that means.”

“I love being here at Landing Knight, being near you. Tonight was a night I’ll never forget. Exploring this connection that we have is something I’d love to continue, but I don’t want things to get messy. I certainly don’t want you to think what we’ve shared has anything to do with Step for Light.”

“I think we might be a step beyond messy.”

“Possibly so.” She swirled her fingers through the small patch of hair around his belly button.

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