Page 46 of The Darkest Knight

“And the farm equipment that came with the land, plus a small gym.”

“You truly do have a haven here. All the peace, quiet, wilderness, and toys a man could want.” She smiled.

“Well, in all truth, my peace and quiet have flown out the window.”

“Too much is never a good thing. Can I ask a personal question?”

“You can ask, but…”

“That’s fair. Why did you leave the military?”

He shrugged. “I almost got blown up.”

“I know that part, but why didn’t you go back? Many who serve their time and then decide they want to come back into the real world, start a career in something they love. You are a hardcore Ranger and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you bleed red, white, and blue. Men like you get shot up, injured, and are back in the proverbial saddle at the speed of a racehorse.” She must have realized his discomfort because she stopped and turned to him. “It’s uncomfortable to talk about I’m sure.”

He’d never talked to anyone, not even the psychologist he was assigned to for several months until she realized she couldn’t crack him. Could Reese? He certainly felt the needling inside his chest. “I lost three good men, brothers, that day under my watch. The guilt ate me alive. Still does.”

“We’re trained to understand the risks. No soldier is free from guilt in some way.”

They started walking again. He plucked a blade of grass from the field and stuck it between his teeth. “How about you? Why are you here and not in some third world country helping women?”

She chuckled, but it didn’t quite change the sad expression on her features. “Believe it or not, I had a dream.”

“To help veterans?”

“Oh, I had a few before this project.”

He caught her hesitation. “Care to share.”

“I wanted a family.”

“That can happen. You’re still young.”

She shrugged “I was on my last few days on my tour in Iraq and I looked forward to coming home, and maybe that’s why I wasn’t as vigilant as I’d always been before the day I was hit. Anyway, I’m not meant to be in the military. I can do so much more out here as a civilian.”

Dread slugged him in the stomach. “What happened to the woman who shot you?”

She shook her head. “She was killed by a soldier.”

“I hear sadness.”

“I just wish things weren’t this way. She was devastated over losing her husband and son. That kind of loss can make people do things, crazy things.”

He nodded. “About that family of yours, you can still have that.”

Her beautiful blue eyes reflected the light of the sun. “I wanted to. I came home to my boyfriend. We moved in together, but it wasn’t long before things started falling apart, long before the gun incident.”

Sympathy rolled through him. “What happened?”

“I started having night terrors. The doctor isn’t sure whether they were secondary from the head injury or anxiety, but my dreams of having normalcy faded the day I left him.”

“It seems like two people who love each other would be there, especially in times of great need.”

“Also, leaving a longtime boyfriend should erupt feelings of remorse or sadness, but I didn’t. I only felt relief. Not in hurting him, but that I was free.”

“Military changes us. We’re a different person than the one who signed the enlistment papers.” He hooked his thumbs inside of his pockets.

“How were you different before?”