Page 77 of Unsteady

Yes.

But still, I slink around the countertop, promising Ellis to be right back, and slip out the front door. We walk together to the little alleyway between Brew Haven and the off campus bookstore.

“What do you need?”

“I hear you and Rhys are talking.” She leans back against the brick.

The sound of his name hurts and I hate it.

“Fascinating.” I deadpan. “Nothing better to do with your time than play town crier?”

She rolls her eyes. “I came to ask if it’s true.”

“Paloma.” I scrub my face with my hands. “You are constantly dating someone, particularly in the sports arena. Why don’t you just ask him?”

“I dated Rhys,” she spouts.

I hate the possessive clench in my gut. I know he’s dated before—lookat him, but hearing it makes me a little nauseous.

“And?”

“And so, I know him. And, unfortunately for my psyche, I know you.” She drops her fake smile and stands up straight. “He doesn’t need you around him. It’s their final year to win the Frozen Four and get attention for the draft.”

I clench my jaw, hating that as much as I want to try my strength in fighting her in the alley, I can understand her worries.

Not only that, but I agree.

You think he gives a shit about taking time away from your dreams? From your brothers?

Coach Kelley’s heated whisper reverberates in my head.

He’ll never understand.

“Last year—”

“This isn’t like last year,” I snap, cutting her off.

For a moment last year, Paloma and I had almost been friends. A little truce as we self-destructed together. I’d seen her spiraling the same way I was, so the accusation cuts deeper. As if she’s suddenly all better, with her refreshed highlights and summer tan.

If she gets a fresh start, why not me?

Paloma starts to speak again, but I raise my palm.

“Save it,” I whisper. “I was talking to him, I guess. But you’re right. Don’t worry, I’ve already told him it’s over. I’m leaving him alone.”

I wondered briefly if he was doing the same thing, but I put his contact on Do Not Disturb, trying to quell my need to look.

“If you want him, fine. Just leave me out of it.”

Oliver. Liam. Rora. The custody hearings. Work. School. Skating.

Surviving. That’s what is important.

“It’s not a question of if I want him.” She rolls her eyes, adjusting her top just so. “It’s just—you know what? Nevermind.”

I walk away before she can.

I expect to feel lighter somehow, as if I'm truly shedding Rhys and his haunting, sad eyes.

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