Page 78 of Between Dusk and Dawn

"You came." I cupped his face, and this time, he allowed me to. His stubble was rough against my smooth hands.

As if there was no one else in our world, I could only see him and smell the subtleness of crisp, linen sheets and musk in front of me. There was no one else in that bar except for us.

"I fucked up." His words were soft against the hum of the bar as if they were only meant for me, too.

"I did, too," I admitted. "There is so much I need to tell you."

"I never meant to lock you in the house." His tone was still and quiet, but he stepped aside so I could see more of him. He cornered me so my back was pressed against the slats of the bar and got eye level with me. "I thought I was doing it to protect you, to save you in some way?—"

I pressed a finger to his mouth. "Later," I murmured.

"Can I take you home?"

Tears started to slide down my face. "I don't know where home is." My voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

"Let me show you." His gaze dropped to mine, and in this crappy college bar on Christmas Eve…or was it already Christmas Day…it was all I could see.

And God, I was so mad at him. Pissed that he’d left me. I was so frustrated that it took us this moment to realize we needed each other. When his eyes drifted toward my lips, I swear his bottom lip quivered.

He was Walsh Solis, the powerful leader to everyone else, but in that moment, he was mine—my husband.

"Madison." His voice, low and raspy, cut through the soft music within the bar. His hands rose tentatively, fingers reaching for my chin as he lowered his own. Our eyes remained locked, and the pounding of my heart echoed in my ears.

"I've never made a bad decision in my life, Madison. Every action I've taken has been carefully planned, except when itcame to you. The moment I saw you in her apartment, I knew you had to be mine." His low voice accompanied the gentle circles his thumb traced along my chin, coaxing my gaze to stay fixed on him.

"But when I saw you, all my plans went out the window. I no longer cared about the carefully curated path I'd set for myself. All I wanted was to spend more time with you, to know what you were doing, to be with you. I made so many terrible decisions when it came to you that I started to spiral out of control." He paused, coughing, perhaps to hide the emotion cracking his voice.

"When we were together in the house, and I let you take control, and then you were gone minutes later, I tried doing the right thing. I thought you needed space, that maybe I'd come on too strong and messed everything up. I thought you couldn't handle me anymore."

"That's not it at all." Tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Please, let me finish."

I nodded, urging him to continue.

"I just didn't realize that I deserved a woman like you, Madison. You are so much like me. Strong and terrified of showing your true self, hiding beneath the shadows of your own mask. But you are beautiful, and I just need you to know that. You can hate me all you want, but when I saw you were gone in Dansport, I lost it."

He paused, locking eyes with me. "I thought I'd lost part of my soul," he whispered, and I stared into his tortured eyes.

"You locked me in the house," I whispered. "I cannot do that again. It's what—" I started to sob, hiccups and all, and he caressed my cheeks.

"I didn’t mean to. I swear I was doing it to protect you." His voice dropped an octave so no one else in the bar could hear him. "I am a very dangerous man, Madison. There are so many peoplethat want me dead and ultimately, would want you dead. I was doing it to protect you. I am sorry if it didn’t feel like that."

My heart was racing. I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. I was too consumed with the feeling of being trapped and how it reminded me of my parents and what they did. "I didn't realize it was for my protection."

"I will never ever make you feel like that again. I can’t promise that you won't need to have guards with you wherever you go, because if those people who are looking for me ever find you, Muse? I’d be destroyed."

"D-destroyed?" I repeated. This conversation was so vulnerable that I was having a hard time processing it all.

"Yeah," he confessed, his eyes locked onto mine. "I wouldn't know how to go on. You've become my world, and without you in it, everything would crumble. I never want to put you in danger again. You mean too much to me, and I can't lose you, not now, not ever."

"Then why leave me?" I asked, searching desperately for answers.

He took a deep breath, his eyes revealing a mixture of regret and sincerity. "Madison, I left because I was terrified. Terrified of being so vulnerable and raw in front of someone. I've always been the big bad wolf, lurking from a distance, and this was different, scary.

"I grew up in a world where showing weakness could be deadly. Emotions were a liability. But then you came into my life, and you saw through all the walls I had built. You saw the real me, and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't know how to handle it, how to handle you.

"I thought I was protecting you by marrying you and then staying away, by not dragging you into my chaotic world. I was convinced that you deserved better, someone who could give youa normal life. But I was wrong. I was hurting both of us more by staying away.

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