Page 64 of Between Dusk and Dawn

"You know, he sent me in here to check on you."

I paused, letting her words soak into my brain.

"He could’ve come back to check," I said, glaring at the shell of a person reflected back at me.

I had deep dark circles under my eyes, my once bright-green irises were dark. My clothes were baggier than usual. The same thing happened when Walsh threw me away at graduation.

"He is lost," she said, her dark-brown eyes taking me in. "I’ve been working for him a long time, and I’ve never seen him this happy in his entire life. I’ve never even seen him bring someone home."

"So am I." I offered a tight-lipped smile before turning to head out the door. I was also lost and scared, but he was never there when I needed him.

Descending into the barn, I allowed the cold air to embrace me, my footsteps echoing in the quiet solitude. I wandered aimlessly around the property, enveloped by the melancholy symphony of the forest. The leaves beneath my feet crunched, a fragile layer of frost clinging to the remnants of autumn. Above, the birds' laughter filled the air with a bitter sweetness.

It struck me then—I hadn't been there for him when he needed me. Consumed by anger and blaming him for supposedly taking Cagen away, who was my lifeline to what I believed was normalcy, I failed to see the truth. He hadn't taken her away; I had severed that connection myself. In my desperate attempt to fit into a place where I never truly belonged, I overlooked the consequences of my actions.

I longed for my grandmother's guidance and a plan for when we inevitably failed. I wished she had prepared me as a young girl, knowing that humans falter. Instead, I became cold, calculating, and vindictive—a mean girl thinking it was the only path to success.

Approaching the main house, I walked the path toward the imposing metal gates. I sensed Enzo's watchful gaze from the front doors, grateful for the modicum of freedom I had been granted. As a car passed by on the road, I clutched the metal bars, feeling like a prisoner locked in her own tower. I had dug my own grave, and instead of being open and sharing my vulnerabilities with him, I had been consumed by the urge to destroy him.

When he bared his soul, I should have cherished the openness he revealed. Yet we were two people who had never been taught how to manage or understand our emotions. Our inability to communicate left us adrift, unable to bridge the emotional gap that stretched between us. As Ms. Luchesse said, he was lost. He didn’t know how to manage what he was feeling, and neither did I.

But he risked everything for me. I should have waited for him, but he should never have put me second.

I paused, not daring to turn around, but realized I needed to share this with him. Enzo had been my shadow these last few days, but when I retreated to my little apartment, he stood outside, leaving me alone in my thoughts.

"When’s he coming back?" I asked, knowing Enzo would hear me.

"I don’t know." My shoulders slumped forward.

"Liar," I said, stalking toward him.

"I promise, Madison. I’m here to watch you, and he’s off doing business with the Irish up north, but I really don’t know when he is expected back." Enzo held his hand up in the air like he was calling a truce.

I huffed and walked past him, my shoulder bumping his as I entered the house. Heading down the long hallway to the living room, my stomach growled. I needed to eat something. The click of the front door shutting behind me echoed through the house. As I rummaged around in the fridge, I sensed Enzo’s presence and turned to see him standing in the center of the room.

"I can call Ms. Luc?—"

I held up a hand. "Don’t."

"Listen, Madison…" I opened the refrigerator, looking inside like I was trying to find something to eat, but really, I was desperate to not cry again. I was exhausted from crying and didn’t want to continue, at least not now and not in front of this man who was practically a stranger. "I am sorry about lying to you. He had me watching you because he was worried about you. I know it seems twisted, but he really cares about you."

Leaving the coolness of the fridge, I slammed the door shut, then laughed hysterically.

"Where is he now?" I wailed. "Where is he now to tell me this? He should be here. Instead, he has his fucking dog here giving me his apologies?—"

Enzo crossed the room, standing in front of me. "I am not a fucking dog. I am Walsh’s second-in-command."

I paused, looking into his heated glare. "I do not want to be here either, Madison. I want to be where Walsh is, dealing with the very unpredictable and angry Irish who are pissed thatWalsh didn’t marry their own and instead impulsively decided to marry you."

"While I was drunk…"

"Regardless, when he did that, he ruined the entire trajectory he had laid out for himself and for us. So please, fuck, make this easier for him and for me. There are a lot of people involved in this aside from you, so stop fucking wallowing and deal with it."

I wanted to slap him across the face, but realized I was too physically exhausted and mentally drained to exert that energy on him, so I turned away, plucked an apple from the counter, then went up the stairs.

I dashed down the endless corridor, my footsteps echoing until I reached the end. Enzo's biting words haunted me, causing a profound ache. If he was here to safeguard me because of my importance to Walsh, it hurt deeply.

Walsh and I, damaged souls, tried to carve out our place in the world, willing to tear everything apart. Despite the chaos and fighting, I had become crucial to Walsh Solis, who put his life on hold for me. It wasn't just a marriage on paper for him.

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