Page 62 of Into the Light

“Let’s rearrange our desks so we are in a circle together, please.” Most of the class moved effortlessly, but as I shifted my desk, Rain’s gaze never left my eyes.

“Sorry, Evie, but respectfully, what does this have to do with photography?” Rain asked.

Evie sat atop her desk, facing us as I stared at some of the ceiling lights flickering above us. If I stared at them long enough, maybe I’d blink and class would be over.

“Because photography is an art dedicated to tickle the creative part of your brain. I think in order to tap into that part, it’s imperative you look deep within yourself. You have to reallyfeelto get the effect of the art.”

Just. Keep. Staring. No thinking.

“Okay, so for this objective, I need everyone to go around and share one thing that scares them the most.”

This was cruel and unusual punishment. What did I deserve to have this happen? I refused to stop staring at the lights, but Rain’s gaze burned a hole through the back of my head.

I swallowed, hoping that since I was in the middle, class would end before it got to me and I wouldn’t have to share.

“Alright, we are going to start with the lovebirds in the middle. Rain, why don’t you go ahead and start us off?”

I snapped my gaze to his as the panic inside of me increased.

It’s okay, he mouthed before turning his attention to the center of the room. He must’ve been panicking too.

“Go ahead, Rain.”

His chest rose once before the words came. “I am most scared of failure.”

“Dive deeper into that,” Evie encouraged.

“I’m terrified of failing the one person who truly deserves better, of becoming someone I never wanted to be and hurting them in the process,” Rain confessed, his voice quivering with a mix of anguish and fear.

Please, I silently begged,don’t let the tears start now.

“I want to be strong, but it feels like I’m stumbling, failing,” Rain continued, and I could not hold back the tears anymore. “I just wish I could show them that I deserve even a fraction of their heart. It would be an honor to have just a small part written into their story.”

The tears flowed freely, and I couldn’t stop them.

“I’m scared of living a life filled with constant lies with this person,” he admitted, his voice choked with emotion. “We both hold back so much, especially our feelings for each other. We hide behind the lies about moving on from last year, when in reality, I’d give anything for just one more moment with her—er, I mean, them.”

His gaze never left mine as he gently wiped away the tears that fell onto my cheeks. In that vulnerable moment, he whispered, “I’m so sorry,” and the three words felt like a balm to my aching heart.

I nodded because I couldn’t talk, especially not in front of the entire class. There was a resounding applause, and my attention turned toward Evie giving Rain a standing ovation.

“Bravo,” she exclaimed. “That is the type of vulnerability I was hoping for.”

She paused. “It is only fair the second part of the love entanglement to go second, although, a hard act to follow.”

I pointed to myself, and she nodded eagerly. On the inside, I wanted to fucking melt away. I could very well lie my way out of this.

“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered, and I simply offered a twist of the corners of my lips. I didn’t have to, but I owed him something—both of them.

I swallowed hard, my gaze sweeping across the room, where curious eyes were fixed on the two of us. Most probably knew who I was, or at least had some inkling.

“I’m terrified of letting myself fall in love again, only to have it cruelly ripped away,” I began, my voice trembling, and tears welled up at the corners of my eyes.

“I-I—” I took a shuddering breath, my focus unwavering on Rain, who seemed eager to whisk me out of that room, but I couldn’t let him. “I’m afraid of death and love simultaneously, not concurrently. Terrified that my heart is capable of loving two people in one lifetime. How am I supposed to reconcile the idea that the person I loved so deeply and intensely would be okay with the person I love, er, like, now so comfortably and protectively?”

My chest tightened, and I struggled to get the words out, each one a heavy burden. I locked my gaze onto Rain, determined not to falter.

“I’ve loved so many people who’ve just abandoned me,” I continued, my voice wavering. “My mother died when I was young. My boyfriend . . . he . . .” It was the first time I’d uttered the word death aloud.

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