There was a faint rap at the door, followed by her gentle voice. “Are you okay, Rain?” I remained silent, convinced she shouldn’t be the one asking about my well-being. I needed to be strong in this situation, to find the courage to apologize for being a complete asshole.
Her concern only intensified the guilt gnawing at me.
“You don’t have to talk to me, but just know that—” I opened the door and found her standing there wearing that oversized shirt that concealed her curves yet heightened her mysterious allure.
“I am fine,” I demanded, pushing past her to go get my pants. Her steps tip-toed against the floor as she followed me, and suddenly, I was regretting bringing her here.
“Talk to me?” she asked, and I glanced over my shoulder before shaking my head as I pulled my pants up.
“I’ll be waiting outside,” I whispered. I could barely string words together in my own head, so saying them aloud took me by surprise.
I rushed out of the small cabin, as the walls felt like they were closing in on me.
Once outside, the same shame dripped slowly back into my veins. In the same very veins that shared the love I had for him. I was tangled in a web of deceit . . . or at least that’s how it felt, and my lungs felt so fucking tight. Why was the air so cold up here?
I couldn’t take a deep breath as I hobbled down to where the ATV was parked. Fuck. I grabbed at my chest and pounded on it as if that would will it to take a deep breath. So many thoughts swirled in my head.
You are a liar.
You betrayed him.
You will never be enough for her.
Why couldn’t I breathe?
Clutching my heart, I looked up in the sky and kept tripping over my feet. I felt like I was drunk, but hadn’t had anything but the fucking seltzer earlier. What was happening?
“Rain?” a cautious voice mumbled through the droning of the ringing now playing in my ears.
“Rain?” the voice said again, and I turned to look at who it was, but fell to the ground. The footsteps quickened toward me, but I couldn’t get over what was happening. My vision was blurry . . .
“M-my chest . . .” Then the world went blank.
The next morning, I woke up and stretched to my side. My head was pounding as I realized I was in my own bed in my room at the Den.
“What the fuck?” I could barely remember what happened yesterday, besides passing out in front of the cabin.
Pulling the covers off, I jumped out of bed, grabbed my phone charging next to me, then my black backpack I’d brought to the cabin.
There were a slew of texts from Ember.
Em:
You probably won’t remember this but just talk to Pico.
Em:
I am worried about you. Text me when you wake up.
Em:
Please don’t shut me out.
“Shit,” I groaned as I threw on a pair of gray sweats and a shirt, heading toward Pico’s room a few doors down from mine.
I rapped slowly in case he had Marissa over. Why they chose to not go to her apartment instead of the frat house was beyond me.
The door opened, and an exhausted-looking Pico dressed in only a hoodie and sweat shorts looked me up and down before giving me a smirk.