Page 43 of Into the Light

“Okay . . . friend.” He let go of my hand before laughing, knowing my comment carried a weight of untruth.

Once Rain got dressed and we got downstairs to the foyer, I realized the last time I’d been in this foyer without a party and walking out of the front door, it had been under way different circumstances.

“Are you okay?” he whispered. We didn’t hold hands walking down the stairs, and I didn’t feel this compulsion to reach up and kiss him, but being with Rain felt safe. All those anxious thoughts threatening to surface didn’t spill over. In fact, I remained calm as I stood in the empty room.

As if Rain could sense my emotions, he encouraged me to walk outside, trailing behind me. That’s when I noticed Santiago at the end of the gate.

“You called him,” I stated.

“If you’re going to see your brother, which I am not telling you not to, I understand why you do. But you need to have him come with you if I cannot be there.”

“Okay,” I said, not wanting or seeing a reason to fight. I kinda agreed with him.

We paused at the end of the walkway, and I gazed up at Rain, whose hair still had that messy, slept-in look. His eyes seemed a brighter blue today, and the lines on his face seemed to have disappeared overnight.

I glanced over his shoulder at the house where some of the guys would be waking up. A pang of guilt took over. It felt like I was doing something wrong and dirty, as if I were cheating on Ash even though I knew he wasn’t around. The whole situation made me uncomfortable.

“Is it okay that we’re seen together?” I asked him, my voice tinged with uncertainty. Indecision and the whirlwind of thoughts flooded my brain.

“Ember, we’re just friends, remember?” Rain reassured me, but I knew he felt the turmoil in my mind.

“Yeah,” I murmured before nodding goodbye. I turned my back to him, exited through the gate, and headed toward Santiago.

“Don’t even.” Santiago laughed as I approached him in my day-old clothes. “Nothing happened.”

“I didn’t say anything, mija.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked down the block to where I had arranged to meet Walsh.

“Tell me about the plan for today?” Santiago asked as we turned the corner, leaving the Den behind. I couldn’t help but glance back, and Rain was still standing there, hands in his pockets, in the front yard.

It didn’t feel fair, what I was doing to him. We were more than friends and understood the unspoken emotions between us, but acting on them was a colossal step, one I wasn’t ready for. I just hoped that today, my brother would cooperate.

“I just need some answers,” I explained, “and it’s been almost a year since Ash’s . . . well, whatever happened. I need him to finally tell the truth.”

“Do you think he’s going to tell you now? What makes today any different from yesterday?” Santiago asked, a hint of skepticism in his voice.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m hoping time, the approach of the spring bonfire this year, and the fact that I’m finally willing to confront him face-to-face will make a difference.”

“I hope it works out in your favor,” Santiago said, and his face dropped, his eyes soft as he looked in my direction. Even he didn’t want to believe that Walsh would share the truth with me.

“And after?” he inquired.

“After Walsh?” I confirmed.

“Yeah.”

“I guess I’ll hang out with Rain for a little bit.” Santiago stopped in his tracks and shot me a knowing look.

“Hey, it’s not like that,” I protested. “We’re in the same class and have to do a project together.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, mija.” Santiago chuckled as we continued walking, heading past campus and toward the center of town. I had chosen to meet Walsh off campus so someone like Tana wouldn’t see us together and report it to someone at the Den. I didn’t want it getting back to Mr. Ortiz and ultimately, then getting Rain in trouble. This seemed like the safer option.

I grabbed a coffee for Santiago and me at the counter, then sat at a booth in the back corner so we were somewhat hidden from anyone who walked through the front door. Santiago sat beside me at an adjacent table.

“You didn’t have to pay for me,” Santiago clucked. “You pay me enough in salary.”

Another thing that Ash had left me in his will was a portion of his fortune, which is another reason his dad had it out for me. Only Santiago knew, but now that I thought about it, I needed to ask Rain about it.

My thoughts were interrupted when someone cleared their throat from above me.