Page 41 of Into the Light

“This is perfect. I feel . . . good,” I whispered, realizing how transformative this entire night had been. It was something I knew I needed for me to heal, to move forward. With grief, there was no moving on, but I needed to learn to live in the present again.

“Of course.” Rain agreed before opening the door. It was well into the early hours of the morning, and I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until I let out a large yawn.

“Come on,” he whispered, and I jumped off the stool and followed him to his room.

“Are you going to take me home?” He looked over at me while I took a seat at the edge of his bed.

“No,” he said quite matter-of-factly.

“Oh?”

“Stay with me?” he muttered. His shoulders slumped forward as he reached out for my hand. His eyes had deep circles underneath them and as much as I wanted to stay here for him, sleeping in the same bed was so personal.

“Okay.”

He took his shirt off, leaving every curve and etch of his torso on full display. His skin was flawless, free of tattoos, just golden hues of beauty. We stared at each other, unmoving.

His hands moved up toward the waistline of his jeans in an erotic way, and I swear I stopped breathing as he unbuckled and unzipped his pants.

“Do you like what you see, Ember?” he asked in a raspy voice. I gulped. The only thing I could do was nod.

“You don’t have the cave tattoo,” I whispered.

He shook his head then shrugged. “Everyone is supposed to get one, but I never felt like I fit in. Mr. Ortiz never hounded me to get it.”

He slipped out of his jeans, and his abs rippled as he bent down to pull them off. He stood in front of me in his boxer briefs, his entire golden body on display like that of a statue. My eyes closed, imagining my hands circling around his tight chest.

I took a deep breath before I exhaled and opened my eyes, staring as he pulled on a pair of gray sweats.

“N-no shirt?” I asked before he chuckled.

“Do you want me to wear one?”

“I mean, that is not my decision, it’s totally up to you.” He laughed again, and I sounded like a fucking idiot blubbering away.

“Turn around and scoot over,” he demanded, and I did what he instructed before he slipped into the bed and laid next to me.

As I gazed at the wall, he encroached upon my personal space.

“When we were younger,” Rain began, his voice tangled with the weight of his memories, “Mr. Ortiz would chastise Ash about not making his bed properly. We shared a room until we were teenagers, so I’d often sneak into his bed late at night when I heard him crying, facing the wall.” My heart ached at the thought of a young Ash enduring such beratement from his only family member.

“You were strong too, Rain,” I remarked, a heaviness in my own words. “He was forced to grow up fast, but you were thrust into a caregiving role when you were just a kid yourself.”

Rain chuckled, though it held no mirth, more like a sigh of disbelief. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” A somber silence settled between us, with only the patter of rain against the window providing a soundtrack.

“I’d lie down with him,” Rain continued, his voice softer now, “and just stay there in silence until he eventually calmed down and drifted off to sleep. It was a tough household for him . . .”

I turned around slowly, my eyes inadvertently locking onto his bare chest. “I can’t even begin to imagine how tough it must have been for him, and how much love you felt compelled to give him.”

Rain nodded, and I thought I glimpsed a tear tracing a path down his cheek.

“You were mine the moment you laid your lips on me,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Until he met you.”

Suddenly, it hit me. I, too, had become that person in Ash’s life, though I hadn’t fully comprehended it until now. Rain must have grappled with a whirlwind of emotions when I entered the picture.

“And then, suddenly, you had to share that role.” I realized, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place.

“Yeah,” Rain confirmed, a hint of resentment in his tone. “I resented you for a while, but there was also this inexplicable connection between us. I felt the need to protect you, too. It’s one of the reasons I couldn’t participate in the initiation.”

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