Page 34 of Into the Light

“Oh Rain,” she whispered. “You don’t always have to be the strong one. You can break down and feel what you’re experiencing, too.”

“I don’t understand any of it, Ember, including my own damned emotions. And, most of all, I don’t comprehend what I’m supposed to do about you.”

Ember paused, withdrawing slightly, her eyes casting about the room in contemplative silence. A solemn expression painted her lips, and she turned her gaze from the window to meet mine once more. Then with a sigh, as if releasing all eight months of pent-up tension, she uttered words that carried a weight beyond measure.

“I think he wants us to keep living our life. We should honor himin that way.” Her breathing seemed to slow, as though finding a profound revelation. “We should share his story and then give him the peace that he was desperate to find.” Her eyes once again flitted around the room as she took his . . . aura in. The room was so empty, but at the same time felt so full of his spirit.

“I’ve been trapped for so many months, but I believe it’s time to uncover the truth and move forward, no matter what that entails.” She returned to my side, her eyes falling upon my fingers, which bore small nicks from the shattered lamp.

“I don’t have all the answers about ‘us’ either, but those emotions you’re grappling with?” Her gaze bore into mine as she nestled her forehead against my chest, her voice barely more than a murmur.

“I feel them, too.” My fingers found themselves tangled in the silk of her hair, and together, we stood in his room, two souls seeking solace amid the echoes of the past. Holding a silent promise that we knew that this moment, this quiet moment, would transform us.

“I need to get downstairs.” I coughed while she pulled away from me slightly, looking in my eyes for something.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Are you sure you don’t want me?”

I laughed. “No. Don’t get me wrong, pareja, I do, but this is something that I need to speak to the guys about first.” She nodded and then walked downstairs. I glanced back at the room once before turning back toward her.

“I need you to stay in my room no matter what you hear. You need to promise me.”

“Okay,” she murmured, and I grabbed her hand, lacing my fingers between hers.

Ultimately, she was right. We couldn’t forget or move on from my brother’s death, but we had to move forward because we were still here, breathing and living.

Promising myself I’d return when I was ready to face the daunting task of cleaning up the mess around me, I closed my eyes, reminiscing about the first time I met Ash at his dad’s house. It was a memory that felt bittersweet, given the circumstances.

“Hey, what are you doing in my room? Who are you?” A little boy with floppy curls, who was about as tall as me, stood before me. His room was way cleaner than my other room. There was already a small bed on one side, but there was nothing else except what was in my backpack.

“I guess I’m living here.” I shrugged. The little boy paused and looked at me all curious.

“How old are you?” he asked.

“I’m seven,” I said.

“Me, too,” the kid said. “What’s your name?”

“Rain Fortin.” I put my hands in my pockets and looked around the room, wondering if any of my stuff would be here. I really wanted my books.

The boy, who was the same age as me, walked over to me handing me a red car. I grabbed it, thinking it was cool and not something I’d have at my other house.

When my mom told me to pack my stuff earlier today, she told me we were moving in with her boyfriend. A guy she’d only been dating a couple weeks, but that was common with Mom. She would always date someone and then break up with them, but we were actually moving this time, so it was serious.

Still, I didn’t wanna get too close to this kid because what if they broke up. It would suck to leave him.

“My name is Ash Ortiz. I think you’re going to be my brother now.” I smiled, but this felt . . . kinda weird. I’d never had a brother before or any siblings.

“Come on. Wanna play with my cars?” Cars were cool. From that moment on, I knew this guy would be my friend forever.

“What the fuck’s this about, Fortin?” one of the guys asked as Pico slid into the room. We were gathered around the dining room, and most of the guys were sitting while I stood towering over them. Pico stood behind me.

The night had fallen, casting the house into a shadowy realm illuminated only by a few dim lights. My feelings about being a leader and most of the people here were complicated, but strangely, I held a deep affection for this place. It was like a haunted mansion crossed with a horror film set, nestled right on the edge of the ominous forest. Typically, we kept the first floor tidy, especially since it welcomed most of the campus during the typical Saturday party.

As I scanned the room, I couldn’t help but realize how little I knew about most of these guys. Honestly, I had no interest in getting to know them. They came across as sheep, reeking of desperation as they tried to climb the ranks through the Cartel. However, it wasn’t my favor they sought; they were desperate to impress Mr. Ortiz, the head honcho. I just happened to be the direct link to him.

In frustration, I slammed my hands onto the dark wooden table, creating a thunderous noise that shattered the silence, making everyone turn their heads toward me.

“Who is fucking around with the hairstylist at the salon on Main, Tana?” I asked when the room quieted. There were a couple whispers of guys mumbling, but as I stared at each of them, no one confessed.

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