Page 16 of Into the Light

“I was his girlfriend,” I said through clenched teeth, my anger bubbling. “I loved him more than you can imagine. I did everything for him, spent eight months banished to Dansport because of how people saw me. But I’m tired of this.” I turned around to face the crowd, standing tall. “I loved Ash Ortiz. I have his initials tattooed on me. He had my name tattooed on him. Do you think I don’t blame myself, too? Because I do.”

I walked back to the doorman, leaned down, and screamed into the darkness, “I loved him too, and he left me. I blame myself every damn day. Let. Me. In,” I demanded, flipping his chair back. He scrambled to his feet, and the people in line fell silent.

“You little bitc—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” a deep voice warned. He emerged from the shadows, as if he belonged in the woods all along.

I paused, my heart skipping a beat. He was a beautiful man, radiating an aura of mystery. Unlike Ash, whose aura was different, I could never tell if Rain liked me, hated me, or just felt indifferent about it all. Over the past eight months, I had called him, texted him, and begged for updates, all with no response. I assumed he wanted nothing to do with me and blamed me for what happened, but I had no way of knowing because he never talked about it.

“I just came to bring you your camera,” I said.

“You needed to come to the house to bring my camera on a Saturday?” Rain asked.

“This obviously played out better in my head,” I confessed while glancing over to the guy in the chair now nursing a broken nose from the fall.

“You’re hurting my men, Ember.” His voice was so low and gravely. He stalked toward me like a lion to its prey.

“I d-didn’t mean to. I was just . . . fuck, Rain, what happened?” My voice cracked, close to crying, so I prayed I could hold it together long enough to give him the camera and go back to the safety of the apartment.

“Hey man.” I turned around to see Pico, hand in hand with Marissa, strolling up to us. “Ember.”

“I don’t even want to go to this stupid party, I just wanted to bring this to you and look at the man who maybe shared in the same grief I felt about—”

“Get upstairs,” Rain demanded, and I nodded, following his lead.

The man in front of me was different from the one I left last year. He was mad, angry, and in charge. The man I left behind shrunk beneath the shadows, but this man was . . . powerful. People listened to Ash, too, because he didn’t give a fuck what weapon he used. Rain just had to use his words, and men bowed down to him, nodding without explanation.

Once we got inside, I paused, letting my surroundings sink in. I hadn’t been here for eight long months and realized how much I missed it all. The music was loud, and the DJ played some pop song that had people crowding the dancefloor flailing their arms. In the corner of the room, were still a few people heavily making out; one girl had her top hoisted to her neck, tits exposed. Instead of cringing like I had the first time I was here, I gave a little smirk, knowing what may have happened earlier in the night.

Rain reached behind and grabbed my hand. I paused for a moment before he guided me through the crowd and upstairs where no one was allowed.

I expected since Rain was the president to be led upstairs, but he brought me to the room that he slept in last year. I looked up the stairs to the loft, then back at him.

“No one could take it this year. Didn’t feel right.” I wondered what happened to his stuff.

Rain opened the door to his room and walked in, a gesture for me to follow, but I took a moment before I followed him in. I hadn’t been alone with a man since . . .him. I took a slow step in and looked around his room.

He had a small bed in the corner, but the room was filled with books and bookshelves. I grabbed a few of them and saw some crime novels. It was rather neat, too; everything had a place.

“I didn’t realize you read?” It came out more of a question as I sat in awe of the bookshelves.

“I’m an English major, Em.” My head shot over toward where he was sitting on the bed the moment the nickname came out. My heart dropped in my chest, the familiarity of it felt so good. His deep-blue eyes blazing into mine, his hands fumbling in his lap.

“Ember . . .” I didn’t realize how strong Rain looked until now. He had definitely been going to the gym more. He was . . . bulkier. His presence commanded more of the space, too.

“You fucking hurt me after everything that happened with Ash,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I didn’t know what else to do. I was shoved into this fucking position.” He threw his hands in the air before standing. “I didn’t have a chance to breathe.”

“No,” I practically shouted, “you don’t get to use that as an excuse. I, too, lost him, Rain. You are the only fucking person I had alive who is connected to him.”

“I was trying to do what was best. I need to appease Mr. Ortiz.”

“Why?” I demanded. “You literally don’t have to. He’s the one putting in everyone’s head this rumor that it was my brother who killed him—”

“No. You don’t know anything, Ember.”

“That’s because no one fucking bothers to tell me,” I yelled.

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