Page 12 of Into the Light

“I was.” I liked to play video games with them, mostly Rain though.

“So, go, show up, hold your head high, and remind them who’s boss.”

“I agree, Ember,” a deep voice chimed in from the now-opened door, causing me to recoil as Marissa rushed toward it. I extended a hand to halt her.

“Who the hell are you?” Santiago, materializing from what felt like nowhere, demanded from behind the stranger, his wary eyes darting between Marissa and me.

Marissa dragged me aside and made her way toward the newcomer, brushing off Santiago’s weapon and planting a kiss on his lips.

“Pico?” I asked, squinting. Sure enough, it was Pico, casually leaning against the doorframe and seemingly unfazed by Santiago’s previous threat.

He looked so much like Rain it was uncanny. Both had gelled back long black hair. Pico was bigger than Rain and much stockier. He was wearing an oversized U of Isles hoodie with a pair of black joggers.

“You know him?” Santiago asked.

“Yeah, this is Marissa’s boyfriend, Pico.” I clarified, and Pico extended his hand toward Santiago, who regarded him warily before shaking it.

“Hey man. You graduated a few years before me, yeah?” Santiago seemed to agree as recognition flashed before him.

“Oh yeah, brother. It’s good to see you.” Santiago pulled him in for a hug.

“This is a totally normal reaction to someone you thought was about to murder me, Santi.” I rolled my eyes as I walked over to Pico.

Santiago laughed, then waved me off, heading back to his apartment.

“I didn’t realize that Ash hired him . . .” Pico paused, then slowly turned toward me.

“I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay.” It was the truth. In some weird roundabout way, being in Isles and remembering Ash had felt better than not being here and wallowing in the sad memories.

I still felt lost most days, but there were glimpses of hope, like remembering the first day of class, where I’d felt not a profound sadness but a gentle reminder of what was.

“Seriously, though, I know a lot of the guys would want you to come to the party,” he continued, and I narrowed my eyes at him, resulting in both of us laughing hysterically.

“Come in.” I gestured and went to the fridge to grab another seltzer.

They walked hand in hand over to the couch and sat.

“We both know that not a single person at that house wants me to be there,” I said as I sat opposite them.

“I want you there,” Pico muttered. I looked over at Marissa who shrugged.

“Did she change your mind?” I asked, gesturing to Marissa. To my knowledge, Pico wasn’t allowed to talk to me.

“Rules changed.” Pico placed his hand on Marissa’s thigh.

“So I’m just supposed to be all cool about it, like, ‘Hey, it was awesome how you ignored me for so long because of these stupid club rules that got my boyfriend killed last year. But welcome to my house, and I’m super glad you’re here?’” My words dripped with venom, a bitter admission of the past, something I hadn’t said aloud.

I glanced between them, overwhelmed by a sense of shame. I’d let my anger consume me, blurting out truths which hurt everyone in the room.

With my emotions welling, I sprang from the couch and retreated to the bathroom, tears streaming down my face. The shame from making grief my entire personality trait and hurting those close to me washed over me.

A soft knock at the door startled me from my thoughts. “It’s me.” Pico’s voice came from the other side. I wiped away my tears and slowly opened the door.

“I’m sorry. That was so mean,” I said.

“It was.” He gave me a little smile before opening his arms and wrapping me in a hug.

---