Page 104 of Into the Light

It was hard to believe today marked my official last day of school. The spring bonfire event had come and gone, and despite Rain and I being present, we’d shared a quiet night with no significant developments. The Den held a vigil the weekend after for the one-year anniversary of Ash’s passing. It was the first time that Rain and I had publicly acknowledged that we were together.

Rain still maintained his leadership status of the Den until graduation, at Mr. Ortiz’s request. A lot needed to take place behind the scenes, contacting Mexico and other countries so they were aware of the leadership change. It felt like the right decision. Plus, most of campus seemed to move on to the next big gossip thing and most people were back to being sociable to me. I was sure there were still a dozen questions people had, but I learned to ignore them. Because what mattered was us, and I had learned to drown out the noise.

We spent the last few months living mostly at my apartment during the week, and on the weekend, we alternated between the hunting cabin and the house in the countryside. I even drove him to my house in Dansport. God, what twenty-one-year-olds could tell you they owned or rented four properties. Every time I thought of it, I giggled a little, understanding how ridiculous it sounded.

We loved each other hard. We fucked each other hard. We sat on the couch, naked most days, being absorbed in our books or pieces we were writing. I’d even gotten the courage to start plotting the story I wanted to write. It was a long process, so I was taking each step with ease and focusing on school.

“Rain Fortin,” our professor announced, and my thoughts retreated to reality as Rain leaned over, giving my knee a quick little squeeze before walking up to the front room with his portfolio envelope.

He turned off the lights so he could project the images onto the screen. As he grabbed an array of black-and-white images, hanging them on the board behind the screen, we could barely make out the images. Then he took a handful of filmlike photographs with a grainy, vintage look to them and placed them on the projector, but my eyes were stuck on the man standing before the class. Clad in his black jeans and signature black T-shirt his golden skin almost illuminated in the dungeon of a basement we were in. His gaze locked with mine.

“My name is Rain Fortin, and this is my final project entitled The Girl Who Scares Me. I know Ember and I were supposed to do the project together, but we decided it would be best if we split it up.” Shit. I knew where this was going without even looking at the images, but my eyes pulled away from Rain to look at the projector.

The screen displayed hundreds of black and white photographs of me. I gasped when I saw my feet resting delicately on Rain’s lap, his hand caressing my toes. There was another image of me wearing an oversized sweater, grinning ear to ear as I realized how it swallowed me. Then there was one of me in the driver’s seat of the Jeep, my hand outstretched toward Rain, a radiant smile on my face.

I shifted my focus to the area behind the projector screen, where a dozen selfies of us together adorned the board. The first one showed the back of my hair as I nuzzled into Rain’s shoulder and he looked down at me with pure adoration. The next featured both of us with our feet resting on Ash’s rock during one of our visits to honor him. Another showed us sipping milkshakes at the diner. The one next to it was us walking through our orchards at our countryside house, and one snuggled next to the fire in the hunting cabin. There were countless snapshots of our shared moments.

“This is Ember Solis. We live together. We officially own a house now.” Rain smiled while announcing, which prompted cheers and laughter from the room. He gestured toward me. “She is the strongest human being I’ve ever met, and she’s incredibly beautiful, too.”

“Hell yeah, she is,” a voice chimed in from the back of the classroom, provoking more chuckles.

“Hey, hold on, pal. She’s mine,” Rain quipped, smiling at me.

He continued, “Ember brings me immense joy, yet she terrifies me. I could lose her. I’d be shattered without her, lost in a world of numbness, unable to find the words I so desperately chase in my head and commit to paper. I’d be drowning in my own despair. Because without Ember, you’d all be witnessing me scorch the very ground beneath our feet just to get back to her.”

“Wha-what do you need to know I am not going anywhere?” I murmured forgetting we were surrounded by our entire class. A class that probably thought this was getting ridiculous as this was the second time this had happened in front of them.

“I need you, Ember,” he rasped out. In a way, I knew what he was saying because I’d given him most of me but never allowed him to label what we were. “I want to be able to take you out in public in Dansport like a real proper date so that I can ask you to be mine . . .”

I swallowed audibly before the tears streamed down, wetting my cheeks. “You should’ve just asked,” I choked out in an attempt to make a joke, but I was doing a poor job.

“Please?” He begged, and I could have folded right there in front of the entire class.

“Yes, of course,” I assured him. “I’d love to go on a proper date with you. But I also want you to understand that these moments”—I gestured to all the images behind him—”are the moments that feel even more intimate to me than parading around a fancy restaurant in the city. You’ve always been mine, but if you want to make it official, use whatever label you need, because I’m yours too, Rain.”

He beamed, and applause erupted around us.

“That is absolutely beautiful, Rain.” Our professor grabbed the images from the projector before bringing him in for a hug and whispering something before he took his seat next to me.

“What’d she say?” I asked.

“That I aced the project.” Leaning over our seats, I planted a kiss on him before hearing my name. Feeling more confident after going after Rain, I made my way up to the lit projector. There, I shared polaroid’s along with some of the digital images I had worked on editing.

“My name is Ember Solis, and I am probably going to fail this final because I did not answer the prompt and I did not work with a partner.” I giggled while glancing over at Evie and then meeting Rain’s gaze.

I showed a variety of photos of myself on the screen. There were pictures of me studying, at Ash’s rock, at the cabin, and doing mundane tasks like brushing my teeth. Dozens of photos I took of myself floated on the projector.

“I did not answer what scares me because right now, nothing scares me,” I admitted, my voice filled with a newfound confidence I had never known before. My gaze shifted from Rain to my classmates, their faces reflecting anticipation. “This past year, I’ve overcome so much, faced unimaginable grief, and wrestled with the fear of moving on. But I did it. I opened my heart and let someone in, and now, it feels so damn good.”

Rain’s eyes sparkled with pride and affection as I continued, “I’ve found a life I’ve always wanted, a life that feels normal. Now, our biggest arguments are about whether Rain used my toothbrush.” I chuckled, and the room shared in the laughter.

“It’s the little things, the everyday joys, that I cherish the most,” I said, my voice filled with ease. “The feeling of waking up next to Rain, his warmth beside me, and realizing that I’m no longer alone. Sharing morning coffee, navigating the day’s ups and downs, and falling asleep next to the person I love. These simple moments, this life we’ve built together, that’s what truly matters.”

I walked over to him, my eyes bore into his, and extended my hand to invite him to join me at the front of the classroom. He rose from his seat and came to stand beside me, our fingers interlocked.

Taking a deep breath, I continued my speech, “You see, when I look back at the person I used to be a couple years ago, I was scared of everything—scared of the darkness, scared of the secrets, scared of the world I lived in. I thought that was my only reality.”

I glanced at Rain, his hand squeezing mine, providing the support I needed to keep going. “I’ve learned that fear is only as powerful as you allow it to be. It’s a choice. I chose to embrace the love I found with Rain. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be scared sometimes. It’s okay to love and be loved in return. And that’s the life I want, a life where love and happiness conquer fear. A life where my heart stayed open, overflowing with love, enabling me to cherish a tale blessed by two of the deepest loves I’ve ever experienced.”

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