Page 101 of Into the Light

She shook her head. “No, I want to.”

Chapter thirty-four

My hands were shaking as I shared the one thing I kept close to my heart for a full year. As I took a shaky breath, time stood still as Rain’s hand gave my thigh a little squeeze. I didn’t have to do this. No one forced my hand, but I also knew it would pluck at the last of my dad’s humanity heart strings. It was the answer to solving all this.

I slowly, and with shaky hands, laid the ultrasound photo I had of our beautiful baby on the table. It was so clear because it was one of those 4D ultrasounds. I remember the day I had it done, it was the last appointment before they’d told me she passed. I remember going home and hanging the photo up next to the one of Ash and I sitting on his rock the day of our first date.

I struggled to find the words, closing my eyes to shield myself from the reactions around me. “This,” I began, “is the reason I need you all to keep this a secret. I can’t bear the thought of growing old knowing that my daughter’s only living relative on her father’s side is no longer with us. It would be too painful.”

Rain’s comforting touch, his fingers tracing circles on my thigh, eased my anxiety. He placed his hand on my lower back, drawing me closer to him. I welcomed the closeness; I needed to feel his warmth and support, especially in this chilling moment.

I mustered the courage to speak the truth. “I was pregnant,” I confessed, emphasizing the past tense. “I had to deliver our child, who was born sleeping when I was well over halfway through the pregnancy. No one knows what went wrong, but she chose to join her father in heaven earlier than I expected.”

I inhaled deeply, needing to continue before anyone else could respond. “I understand she’s not with us on this earth, but I don’t want anyone else close to me to leave or be threatened to leave again. There has been far too much sorrow and loss in the few decades I’ve been alive. I know you both may not value human life the way I do, but as your daughter”—I pointed to my father and then turned to Mr. Ortiz—”and as the woman who deeply loved your only biological son, so much that we created a life together, I implore both of you to please . . .”

My dad’s usually stoic face shattered. His mouth shaking, his eyes watery, his lips turned in what resembled a cross between a frown and worry.

“I need to keep him alive so that I can remember Ash. God—” I chuckled, almost manically. “Of all people who don’t deserve to be on this earth, it’s you.”

Now my words were directed at Mr. Ortiz. “The way you treated your son throughout his life, the way you disregarded his struggles and crippling mental health because it didn’t align with the future you had planned for him, was utterly despicable. ‘Foul’ isn’t even a strong enough word. I never wish for anyone’s death, but if there’s one person who deserved it, it’s you, not him.”

As my fingers gently traced the ultrasound paper, my face softened at what could have been, what should have been. “But I need to protect this small piece of history for her—for him,” I added, turning back to my father.

“Please,” I begged, reaching across my brother, my hands outstretched toward my dad. Walsh grasped one hand while my father held the other.

“Of course, precious. I didn’t—God. Fuck.” My dad was struggling to hold back tears. “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me? Who was with you?” He fired off a series of questions in a frantic manner.

“Santiago was there. He was the support I needed at the time. I just didn’t want to tell anyone, but it happened, and you were around more, so you were helping in a way, you just didn’t realize it.” I sighed.

“We can’t change the past, but we can change the course of the future by making just this one decision. Please think wisely,” Rain chimed in behind me, his hand giving my lower back a reassuring squeeze.

My father’s head bobbed before the words tumbled out in rapid succession. “I know. Yes, of course. I’m so sorry, Ember. You have my word. I won’t tell anyone. How can I?”

We all turned to Mr. Ortiz, who had remained silent throughout the entire conversation. His stoic demeanor softened, and the corners of his lips downturned in a frown. It was hard to discern his thoughts from such a subtle expression.

“You hurt my pregnant wife, Solis.”

My jaw dropped. When I thought I knew the entire story, there was always another surprise. “She died after giving birth to Ash.”

“What?” Rain and I shouted in surprise.

“You didn’t know?” I asked him.

“No. I had no idea.”

“Ash didn’t know either,” Mr. Ortiz added pointedly.

This meant everything Ash did to take down his dad, he had no idea what my own father did to his mother. I wonder…

My dad’s voice shook that thought out of me. “She was at the spring bonfire one year. It was all…an accident.” My dad hung his head. I couldn’t believe this, but this is what Walsh was saying last year when he said that dad hurt someone who Mr. Ortiz loved. “I was looking for Mr. Ortiz because he was the leader of the Den. I went to try and find him and one of my men accidentally hit her car as she was pulling out of the house. It was truly an accident.”

“That is what started the ploy to get Mr. Solis’ wife wrapped up in the Cartel?” Rain asked for clarification.

Both men nodded.

This was so incredibly messy I could barely follow. The old Ember would have gotten up, stormed off and never talked to anyone ever again. I was no longer that version of myself though. I had found the power and strength to keep walking forward on a path that was full of bumps.

“We are not the mistakes of our parents,” I said to both Walsh and Rain. They both tilted their chin in agreement.

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