Page 42 of Fourth Wall

“Oh no. It is exactly how it looks.” I was furious. No, that was not a strong enough word to describe the anger coursing through my veins.

“You were right, Christian. You are a fucking piece of shit.”

“Maeve, I need to go—” I interrupted him, not letting him finish his sentence.

“Go fuck another woman. I’m not good enough. I get it.” I am seething. Rage spilling from my mouth, I turned around and opened my door, and right before I decided to slam it, I looked back at him. My voice cracked, tears now pouring down.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this.” I walked through the door to my room, slammed it in his face, and locked it so he couldn't come in. I sank to the floor and buried my head in my knees.

I looked outside one of my windows and watched as Christian grabbed his bag and headed out. I peeled back and realized this was why we would never be. I needed stability. I needed the trust and comfort of a partner in my life.

I lay down in bed before checking in on the girls and tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep.

I was just about to sleep when I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly ran downstairs and grabbed the baseball bat that I had stuffed behind my bed in case it was an intruder.

I looked into the peephole to see Julian standing on the other side of the door. I was pissed now. The only reason Julian was coming over was to make up some sorry fucking excuse for Christian’s behavior, and I wasn’t interested in hearing it.

I whipped open the door and stared at him.

“What?” I cocked my head to the side, and he simply pushed past me and into the house, gently closing the door behind me.

“What are you doing here? Tatum sent you?” He was cracking his knuckles now and looked so unsure of what to say to my partial outburst.

“Christian called. He told me what happened and wanted me to come make sure you were okay.” I tried my best to give himthe most “I’m so chill” face, but I knew that the anger was visibly coursing through me.

“I’m fine. Quite frankly, I haven't needed anyone to take care of me for quite some time. I do not need someone to start now.” I’m a liar. It is scary being here alone.

“Listen, Maeve, it really isn’t my place to say—”

“Then don’t say it.” I shrugged my shoulders and walked into the kitchen where I got myself a glass of water to calm my very strong feelings.

“He isn’t doing what you think he is. I really shouldn’t say anything, but I promise it's not what you’re thinking.”

I banged my cup on the counter, watching small fractures crack through the glass.

“Listen, Julian. I appreciate you coming over. You and I have always had a nice friendship, but don’t come over giving me whatever sob story Christian told you.” My fists clenched. “What did Christian tell you anyway?” Ignoring what I had just said because curiosity clearly got the best of me.

“He didn’t—” It was a rhetorical question, so I quickly interrupted him.

“He brought me to a beach, he opened up to me about his family, he kissed me. Let me say it again, he fucking kissed me and then proceeded to finger fuck me in the ocean because it is something that I told him I wished I had done.” Julian winced. This was clearly not the conversation he thought would happen when he came over.

“I am fine. Go tell your friend that I am fucking fine,” I spat and looked behind Julian, where I knew Christian had a camera, and gave it the middle finger. “Tell Tatum to come over tomorrow while you're at it.”

Julian Marchetti rarely ever has any sort of emotion on his face, but I could tell this conversation rattled him.

“Oh, okay. I’m glad you’re okay.” He walked toward the door and took a step outside. “Please close and lock it behind me.” I nodded. No other words were left to be said.

“Maeve.” He looked back at me once more. “I’ve never seen him this distraught before, at least not since the night I found him drunk in a bar out here.”

24

Christian

“Hey, man. Can you meet me at the sober house?” I called my sponsor as I drove down the highway, headed toward a little area outside Los Angeles in the foothills.

When I met Julian and started to go to my appointments at the VA, they connected me with this group of individuals whoalso had some military trauma. Over the years, we all became close and bought a house together. It would be used every so often when each of us was triggered. It was secluded, and we had a therapist and a doctor on call when we needed them. The best thing for us was to sometimes escape to solitude to fix what we needed and then come back to reality.

“Yes, heading there now.”

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