Page 57 of Into The Darkness

For a whole month now, Ash and I had been caught up in whatever strange dance we were engaged in. Pinning down a description for it was like trying to grasp smoke—elusive and ever-shifting. Living in a state of anticipation, I waited for hismessages and calls, and played byhisrules while the uncertainty of it all gnawed at me. Yet, I couldn’t muster the energy to push for more, as I was preoccupied with a more pressing pursuit—gathering fragments of information from Ash and my brother. I needed to assemble the scattered pieces of the puzzle, especially the tattoo etched onto my skin during my first visit to the Den.

It was Saturday, which meant I was recovering from Dr. Connolly’s weird tutoring session yesterday and Ash was preparing for one of his house parties, which I still wasn’t allowed to come to. Honestly, though, I was glad because I didn’t want to somehow end up more drunk with another fucking tattoo.

Maddy was fixing herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen while I warmed up leftovers from last night’s dinner. I took a seat on one of the barstools at our small kitchen island.

“I feel like I hardly ever see you these days,” she stated, her tone tinged with a hint of longing. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for not being around the apartment much. My time was mostly spent with Ash, except on Saturdays, of course.

“You’re right,” I admitted, the weight of my absence hanging in the air. I needed to make more friends here, especially female ones.

“You never join me when I go out,” Maddy added, her words hitting me like a truth I had been avoiding. It was like a knife twisting in my gut. I hadn’t been going out with her, and that needed to change.

“I could come out tonight,” I offered, hoping to bridge the gap between us.

Maddy’s face lit up. “Really? They’re throwing a huge party at one of the downtown bars. Beatrice will be there too. You should totally come!”

I hadn’t explored the bars in Isles yet. Ash and I had found our own kind of thrill in sneaking outside neutral territory and spending time at his secret spot before the weather got too cold.

“Alright, I’m in for tonight.”

“Can I pick your outfit, then?” Maddy asked, her eyes shining with anticipation.

“Okay, just this once.” I relented, and we made our way to her room. I perched on the edge of her bed while she sifted through her closet.

“Do you ever think about your old roommate and what might have happened to her?” I asked, breaking the silence.

Maddy paused, her hands still in her closet. “Sometimes,” she admitted in a hushed tone. “I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something off about the Den and the Alphas. It’s all so eerie.” I could have sworn she flinched as she moved away—something I did when I lied, but what did she have to lie about? I shook my head, thinking I was reading far too much into the situation.

“It really is,” I agreed. As Maddy pulled out a form-fitting red mini dress from her closet, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of anticipation for the night ahead.

“This one!” Maddy exclaimed, holding up a dress for me to see.

“Absolutely not. My boobs will be spilling all over.” Ash would shit if he knew I was even thinking of wearing this in public.

“He’s not going to see you,” Maddy responded, as if she could read my mind. She pushed the dress toward me, encouraging me to try it.

“We’re not even dating, so it doesn’t matter what he thinks.” As I moved away from the closet while slipping into the dress, lies escaped my lips. The words felt false, for I couldn’t believe them myself; it seemed like we were in a relationship. Despite my desire to be with him, everything was entangled and confusing.

“Sure it doesn’t,” Maddy added with a hint of sarcasm. Stepping out of the closet, I slowly spun to admire myself in the floor-length mirror in her room. I had to admit, I looked stunning. There was something about how the dress accentuated my curves that made me feel confident. I wouldn’t have dared to wear this dress on any other occasion, but going out with Maddy and the girls felt like a chance to break away from my routine.

“You look amazing,” Maddy chimed in as I turned to face her.

“I think I’m going to keep it on for tonight.”

“That’s my girl,” she cheered. She grabbed a similar green dress and slipped into some heels, while I opted for a pair of flat sandals, drawing the line at heels.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked as we stood in our shared bathroom. Maddy was applying makeup, and I sat on the floor beside her, observing her process.

“What’s on your mind?” she replied, glancing at me through the mirror.

“Have you ever been in love?” I asked, my voice tinged with a touch of uncertainty.

Maddy paused, her gaze lingering on the thought. “I thought the thing between you and Ash was just casual hook-ups,” she teased with a wink, making light of the situation.

“I’m serious,” I insisted.

She looked down at me, her eyes pensive. “I don’t know . . . I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.”

Unsure of what love felt like, I questioned, “Is it supposed to be scary?” My voice wavered as I acknowledged my lack of experience with both love and relationships.

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