Page 19 of Into The Darkness

“Yeah, exactly. Y-you think I was drugged?” I asked while putting on the rest of my outfit—leggings and an oversized hoodie.

“I mean, I really don’t know, but if you really don’t remember anything after the dance floor, then probably? Either that or you had too much to drink.”

I paused. “There was a weird guy who gave me a drink. I cannot remember what he looked like, but I remember him shoving a cup in my hands.”

“Sounds like it could’ve been him.” She shrugged while grabbing a mug from the kitchen to fill up with coffee.

“Yeah, I think I am going to stay away from tequila for a while.” I laughed, trying to brush this situation off and make it not seem like a big deal, but it was. Because, all of a sudden, I really missed my home. I missed the loneliness and solitude. So much change was happening in such a short amount of time, and I was very overwhelmed.

“Any plans for today?” Maddy asked as she put the coffee filter in, making enough for the both of us. I was just grateful for the shift in conversation.

“I think I am going to just head over to the library and work on a project for Dr. Connolly’s Intro to Fiction class,” I said, grabbing a muffin from the counter. I was not a breakfast person and much preferred a sweet treat and coffee on the go.

“Maggie and I are headed to watch the football game at one of the bars in Isles if you want to join?” Maggie was Maddy’s friend from one of her psych classes. I hadn’t met her yet, but Maddy always talked about her. I think they were more frenemies than friends, but who knew?

Narrowing my eyes at her, we both let out a tiny chuckle. “I think it’s probably best if I lay low today.” She nodded as I grabbed my bag and stuffedWuthering Heightsand my laptop in.

I waved goodbye, walked down to the garage, and noticed the blacked-out Jeep was there, but this time it was positioned correctly. Funny enough, this was the first time I had thought about Ash all weekend. Knowing I would see him again on Friday, did something to my chest that I couldn’t quite describe, but I didn’t hate the feeling. After the shitty morning I had, thinking about Ash was the best part.

I opened my car door and got in, lingering a little bit longer before pulling out of the space. A rush of emotions from the past twenty-four hours converged upon me all at once, and I couldn’t hold back a single, gut-wrenching sob. Tears streamed down my face, bursting forth like a dam breached, my chest heaving with the intensity of my cries. In twenty-four hours the familiar identity of the good girl I had always cherished vanished into thin air. Somehow, amid the blur of intoxication or being drugged, I had been taken advantage of—tattooed, brought home, undressed, and subjected to who knew what else.

This must have been what Walsh and Dad meant when they said they were worried about me coming to school. Because I allowed this to happen. I opened up and went out with friends to experience college. I went to a party, drank tequila from a flask, made out with a bouncer, and watched as people fucked each other on the side of the most crowded room I had ever been in. Beyond the fragments of memory, it had been a thrilling, electrifying night like nothing I had ever experienced before. I didn’t get caught by my dad’s bodyguards. No one suspected anything, and, miraculously, whoever got me into the apartment did so without my bodyguards noticing. Yet, beneath the uncertainty, a gnawing question remained: Was this the person I truly was, or was I losing sight of myself?

Chapter seven

I had spent the entire morning in the library, which quickly rolled into the afternoon before I realized it was 5:00 p.m., and I hadn’t even stopped for food. The library was beautiful and homely. It was something you would have seen in a book likeHarry Potter. It was dark, wooden, and cold, which meant everyone was bundled up in their sweaters despite the weather outside. I had picked a small corner in the fiction section where I alternated between writing my synopsis forWuthering Heightsand typing a paper for my psychology class.

My back was hurting and my stomach was growling, but I was grateful that for the last eight hours, I hadn’t thought of what had happened the night before. My luck ran out the hangrier I got and the more upset I became.

I threw my stuff in my backpack and flung it over my shoulder, then stopped by the little café on the bottom floor of the library. After ordering a turkey sandwich and a coffee, anticipating a long night of studying ahead, I sat in the corner.

Scanning the café, I saw Beatrice. She was dressed in black leggings, like myself, with an oversized T-shirt and black cardigan.

“Hey, Beatrice.” I waved as she practically ran in my direction.

“Oh my God. Maddy told me what happened at the party. Can I see?”

I turned around and tucked my hair back so she could see the “O” I was hoping somehow magically went away.

“Dude, I am so sorry that happened. I feel so—”

I held up a hand. “It’s okay. I’d rather not talk about it. I had a really nice time getting to know you, so I want to remember the night for the fun that it was.” If she continued to talk about it, I would spiral, and I was trying to avoid that.

“I agree. It was really nice to meet you,” she said as she pulled up the chair next to me. “Gimme your phone. I want to put my digits in it.” I smiled and handed her my phone.

“We should hang out sometime. I usually come to this library on Sunday mornings if you need a buddy?”

Now this was the type of friendship I missed; someone to keep me company while I studied was exactly what I needed.

“I’d love that.”

“I am headed out now, but I’ll see you maybe next weekend?” I nodded and Beatrice left. As I shoved a few bits of my sandwich in my mouth, I heard a familiar voice. Walsh’s hand was slung around a thin brunette.

“Walsh,” I called out, and he looked over, dropping the girl’s hand and running to my table. He gave me a hug and sat in the chair that Beatrice had pulled up.

“Did you survive your first weekend at Isles?” Walsh narrowed his eyes, and suddenly, the tattoo behind my ear was burning, so I pulled my hair in front of my face, making sure he didn’t see it.

“I just spent most of it here.”

---