Page 35 of Third Degree

I was never alone, but I was so lonely.

I was scared, but I wasn’t frightened.

I was consumed with what my day-to-day looked like, and the monotony of doing the same thing over and over again made me panic. That is when the nightmares started. I had always struggled with sleep issues, so I gardened at night, but now, when I could finally close my eyes, the dark world consumed me and shook me deep to my core.

Therapy helped me find ways to calm my breathing and remove myself from situations that made me anxious, which I had tried to do tonight. It was easier for me to devise a plan if I had a moment to disappear and regroup.

I looked over at the kitchen counter, where I saw my phone buzzing, alerting me that I had an unread text.

Chels:All good here. Everyone believed that you were sick. Let me know if you need me. Otherwise, I’ll see you at the club tomorrow. XOXO

Fuck. Tomorrow, I would come up with a plan, but tonight, I needed to refocus. I needed to busy my hands doing anything other than thinking about him. Of Elio.

14

Elio

49 years old

Tonight, as the group made their way to my newly opened club, including Gianna—now Daphne—I made a choice that showcased my descent into madness. Instead of joining them on the bustling dance floor, I locked myself away in the office upstairs and watched them on the security cameras.

Last night was a pitiful display, even by my own standards. I shamelessly sat in my car, consumed by obsession, watching the flickering lights in her window throughout the night. It seemed that both of us were still haunted by insomnia after all these years.

Occasionally, I caught glimpses of her as she moved about her balcony, a sight that both tortured and mesmerized me.

She was breathtaking. More radiant than ever since she departed all those years ago. Her curves had filled out, and her hair, which was now cropped to shoulder length, framed her face in an alluring way.

She appeared happier, for the most part.

Tonight, she was wearing a short minidress with a pair of heels. She looked out of place in the damn club, and I wanted so badly to pull her away from all of them and beg her to take me in her arms.

But what kept me sane was that I knew she wasn’t married. A glimmer of hope ignited within me, desperate to believe that she was waiting for me. But the truth remained a mystery, leaving me uncertain and in a state of desperate longing.

And spying, evidently.

I lacked the answers she sought, fully aware that she saw me as nothing but a fucking coward, and in truth, she wasn’t entirely wrong.

Countless times, I contemplated jeopardizing my life and severing my ties with Ricardo, the still reigning capo of the Gambini family, with whom I had become intimately entangled. I considered throwing caution to the wind and returning to her. Consequences be damned.

But the weight of the boys’ future rested in my hands, and I couldn’t afford to risk anything more. They harbored grand ambitions, aiming to construct an empire by exploiting government connections and funneling illicit funds between the underworld and various gangs to finance state projects.

Witnessing their accomplishments filled me with immense pride, yet my heart remained shattered, broken twice over. The loss of my late wife, followed by the wrenching moment when Gianna was ripped from my life, plunged me deep into the abyss of my work.

Over the years, I had been so focused on what the Gambini family and Ricardo needed that I lost sight of what I needed.

The club everyone was at tonight was one of my newest endeavors, but I was slated to open another one in San Diego in the next few months. I liked being close to Julian and the work that was being done here, so that was why I started to move to build more of my empire in Southern California.

Over the years, I helped the Gambini family run so much of their product and money through the club that I had almost doubled their profits and could have legitimized their whole fucking operation if they wanted to. I became more involved in the day-to-day operations of both the club and the Mafia’s needs. Some would say I was back in the world my wife so desperately wanted her family to leave.

To honor her, I refused to acknowledge the fact that my ties ran really deep with the Mafia. At the end of the day, I was born a Made man, and I would die one too.

Tonight, I was watching Daphne on the surveillance footage from the comfort of my office tucked away on the top floor, as she was in the VIP section with her friends.

I watched her tirelessly as if I was trying to memorize the way she laughed, the way she talked, the way she smiled. In case I never got to see her again. It seemed like the time we had together was always on a clock. We only had this week, and then we would have to go back to our lives when the wedding was over.

But in six months, she could be mine. Shewouldbe mine, and I was determined to make that happen. When the time came.

A knock at the door startled me.

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