Page 5 of Avery

I crawl on top, making myself comfortable right in the center, curling my body over it and resting my head on my forearms. Avery curls up underneath me and doesn't fog the glass to give herself privacy. No, she rests her head against one of my pillows and drifts off to sleep without another word to me.

I crawl over the dome a little, placing my face right above hers, watching as her chest rises and falls with her steady breaths of sleep. I stare at her like that for a long time, way longer than is right. I don't stop until my body starts to feel tired, and I finally move back to the center of the dome and close my eyes.

three

Avery

The sanctuary is massive. I don't think I realized that when I was staying there. Now, standing at the entrance alcove and waiting for one of the sisters to come out and talk to me, I can see that the giant marble entrance is just the front of the building carved into this steep rock face.

I came to the sanctuary on my own this morning, asking Phial to give me a little space. It's early enough that most of the others in the clan are still asleep, and those that aren't haven't given me a second glance. As far as I can tell, it's a free for all sex wise at night, but during the day, they're all just going about their business and working. It made it easier to handle when I saw someone who looked like Vyron, the male who altered me and laughed when I was in pain.

"Avery?" Jia asks as she steps out of the sanctuary, wiping her hands on her furs. "What can I do for you?"

I open my mouth to speak, needing to ask her for a little more help, but the words get stuck in my throat. I know I'm messed upfrom what happened to me. Who wouldn't be? But I don't want to be scared of males forever. I don't want to think that I might get taken again at any moment, and I don't want to miss out on normal everyday relationships because I'm scared. I swallow the thick lump in my throat and force my tears not to come. Now is not the time.

"You said there's someone I can talk to," I say.

I hope Jia remembers talking to me during my heat about there being the Rytharian version of therapists in the sanctuary. I told her she could go fuck herself when she first mentioned them, but in my defense, I had also just begged for her to bring me Phial, and she told me she couldn't do that.

"Of course," Jia says, her face relaxing now that she knows it's not an emergency or something's wrong. "You want to speak with one now? I think Kithi's free."

"I mean, yeah, that would be great. If it's not a problem." I twist my fingers in front of myself. This is a good first step. I know it is, but it's still a scary one.

"Yeah, come in," Jia says, ushering me inside. She stands in the doorway for a moment after I pass her. She nods at someone, but I don't know who it is. I don't remember anyone else being out there, but that doesn't mean someone else hasn't come up. Jia shuts the door behind us and leads me through the vast cavern. "I'm proud of you for asking for help."

I clench my teeth together and swallow down hard again. Jia gives me a soft smile, understanding that it's still hard for me.

"We all need help sometimes, Avery. There's no shame in that, especially when you've been through something traumatic."

I nod, and she seems happy enough with that response. It's good because I don't know if I can give her more. Not right now, not when it's taking everything in me not to turn back around and hide in Phial's nest. Thankfully, the walk is short,and another female is waiting for us in the entryway into another smaller alcove in the cave system.

"Avery?" the female asks, reminding me how much better their sense of smell is than mine. I was altered to be like these females, but my sense of smell wasn't changed. Something Vyron took great pride in telling me because he said it meant I'd never find a scent match, something his kind takes great pride in. It was another way for him to show his power over me.

I nod to the new female and she gives me a bright smile.

"I'm Kithi," she says, stepping out of the doorway so I can move into the space. "Sit wherever you want." She closes the door behind her, sealing us in together with the soft trickle of water from somewhere deep in the cave system.

I take a seat on a plush chair, my legs tight together, my hands in my lap, fidgeting uncontrollably. Kithi sits on a couch near me and gives me a soft smile, waiting for me to make myself comfortable but not rushing me.

I lick my lips a few times, trying to work up the nerve to say anything. After what feels like hours but has probably only been a few minutes, I manage the courage even though my hands are sweaty.

"I'm scared. I'm really scared, and I don't want to be," I say, keeping my eyes on my hands, not wanting to see any judgment in Kithi's eyes at my confession.

"Okay, then let's work on that," Kithi says, her voice just as calm and soft as when she introduced herself.

I glance up at her and see no judgment or chastisement, just a genuine interest in my words. I wipe at the tears starting to spill from my eyes. Kithi hands me a tissue, and it all comes spilling out of me.

"The Intergalactic Alliance still hasn't cleared us for more missions," Alik says, his voice always on the edge of annoyance. "They want us to keep a low profile, but they still haven't told us why."

I don't look around at the others because we all know why they have to keep a low profile. I'm on the ship now, and with me on the ship, they have cargo that needs to stay hidden. They've never asked me why I might've been a target in a human smuggling operation or why I was altered to be compatible with a whole other species. I haven't been honest with them either. In my defense, no one has asked me so it's partially on them.

"You're all welcome to stay on Rythar," Holoth says.

Holoth's the Rytharian male that brought us to this planet in the first place. I went into heat way earlier than is normal for their kind, another present from Vyron.

Holoth left his clan years ago after killing some males who assaulted a female during one of their mating runs. He came back to this place he didn't want to be because of me, and thankfully, it all worked out. He found out the Varon female he was helping to get pregnant was his mate, and they decided to stay on this planet to build their family.

"We might have to," Alik says, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks over to Phial, who's standing beside me, seething.

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