Page 31 of Avery

I huff out a sound of irritation and look up at how he's still smiling down at me. "Will you just get in this nest and kiss me some more?"

Phial's feathers lift off his head, but that's the only part of him that seems surprised at my request. He crawls into the nest, his scaled muscles tensing and flexing as he crawls over to me. I lean back onto my forearms, my legs shifting around until he's above me, pressing his weight against me just enough to show me he's here with me.

I move my legs again, this time spreading them enough so he can lie between them. He makes the same soft chittering sound in the back of his throat before his lips find mine.

fourteen

Avery

This is the most amazing moment of my life. I mean, I said the same thing when I was kissing Phial the first time, but this time it's different. It's different because we're different. We're something more now.

"Avery," Phial groans against my lips.

We haven't been kissing for that long, but it was already late when we started. Maybe he's getting tired already. I want to do this for as long as possible, but I could probably manage to sleep if he needs to rest. I'd need to relieve this ache in my core, but then I could definitely fall asleep—preferably right here in the nest with Phial's arms wrapped around me.

"What's wrong?" I ask when he pulls back for another breath. His feathered brows rise, and he shakes his head.

"Nothing's wrong," he chuckles before taking my lips again. He's making sure not to press too much of his weight against my body, not wanting to make me feel trapped, maybe? I wantto feel him against me, convince him to press his groin against mine. "Everything is so not wrong."

His body shivers as my hands trail down the scales of his back, my fingers splaying through the dark feathers that line his spine. They're not straight up, but they're all raised from his scales. Phial doesn't seem to mind as much when he's kissing me, though. He isn't running his hands through the feathers, trying to smooth them down. Maybe it's futile when he's turned on. He is turned on, right?

"You're enjoying yourself, right?" I ask, my eyes widening as I think about him not enjoying this at all.

Phial groans against my lips again, this time the sound makes me think he's exasperated with me. I mean, maybe I'm talking too much and doubting myself a little too much, but this is the first time I've ever felt so strong for anyone.

I don't want to ruin it. If I ruin it now, I'm ruining a future with Phial as a partner and as a friend. There's no way our friendship goes back to how it was now that I've had him crawl into my nest and make out with me. It was already almost irreparably damaged when we made out the first time.

Phial lifts himself off me a bit more and plucks the glowing green pendant from where it's slid around my neck and is lying against a fur. He holds it up, giving me a questioning look.

"What? Yes, I'm still good. Why?" My words are all way too fast, but now I'm really worried. "Are you not? Do you want to stop?"

"Our speakers picked up the word stop. Are you okay?" Jia asks over the speaker.

"We're fine, Jia." Phial snaps his teeth toward the ceiling.

"I need to hear it from Avery, not from you." Jia's voice holds a hint of amusement. It's probably from getting to annoy Phial even more than just interrupting us.

"We're good," I call out.

The speaker cackles for a moment and then goes silent. Phial keeps his glare up at the ceiling as his eyes dance around, waiting for Jia to bother us again. When he turns his attention back to me, my breath catches in my throat.

"We're good," he tells me, his words holding a finality to them that I don't quite understand. "I'm enjoying myself immensely. I could kiss you for the rest of my life and die the happiest male in the universe."

"You don't want more?" I avert my gaze from his, not wanting to see his expression. Not to mention this hits on some of my insecurities.

In my head, I could have sex with Phial right this second. My body's reacting to him, preparing myself for him, but I don't know if mentally I can handle it yet. I've talked with Kithi plenty of times while trying to talk through my hangups.

One of the big ones is how much I hate my body since it's been altered. Not my looks. My feelings about my looks have only improved since being on Rythar. No, my hangups are with how I feel and how my body reacts to things now. I hate how empty I feel, how easily I get aroused, and how I'm always dripping.

Kithi's told me time and time again that it'll lessen when I find a male I'm comfortable enough to have relations with. My body is revolting right now because Rytharians have an innate calling to breed. I have the same calling, even if it'll never result in a pregnancy.

I hate that this longing is part of me. It means I'm thinking about being with Phial in all the ways two creatures can be with one another, but the other half of my mind is screaming in panic that I'm not ready.

"I'll take anything you give me, Avery." Phial cups my cheek, drawing my eyes back up to his. "If you want more, if you need more, I need you to ask for it, though. You're in charge in here. I can whisper all the things I want to do to you in your ear and getyou wet and needy for me, but you have to ask for it. I need to know you want me, need me, as much as I need you."

His eyes close for a moment, his breath skating over my face. He doesn't sound like he's done, so I bite my lip and wait for him to continue.

"I'm a desperate male when it comes to you, Avery. I want all of your time, all of your attention, all of you. Give me scraps, give me everything. I don't care. Just give me something." Phial's words pierce through my chest, straight into my heart. How could they not? Is it a little intense, a little much? Yeah, it is, but I'm underneath him, loving everything he's saying because I feel exactly the same.

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