Several beats passed. “Are you?”
Slowly, he drained the rest of his beer. “I can feel myself wanting to lie to you, Chloe—and I don’t do that. So I’m just going to ask you to drop it.”
“The only reason people sell things is to make money. But you...” She studied him closely. The line ready to snap in his cheek. The sudden lack of color in his face. “You have money, right? You’re paying my rent, you bring me groceries.” Her stomach was beginning to feel hollow. “You complain about my Sephora habit, but you totally enable me, too, sending me links to sales. I mean, you... you’re a professional hockey player. I don’t understand.”
His jaw flexed. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”
“No.”
It almost scared her howwindedhe looked. “Come here.” He took her by the wrist, guiding her into the living room where he sat her down on the couch, her numb legs giving out beneath her just in time for her butt to hit the cushions. Sig took a spot directly in front of her on the edge of his coffee table, hands clasped between his knees. Head bowed. “Chloe, this is hard for me.”
That woke her up. Sure, sometimes Sig suffered professional ups and downs, the occasional crisis of confidence that came from being an athlete, but he wasn’t a person who hesitated. He was decisive. Always knew the answer. Right now, he lacked his usual strength and that meant he needed her. It would be a cold day in hell before she let him down after everything he’d done on her behalf. “Do you need help burying a body, because we can probably borrow a shovel from my landlord. He has some snitch tendencies,but we’ll find a way to keep him quiet. Bottom line, I’m with you, okay? Whatever it is, I’m with you.”
He huffed a disbelieving sound, but the affection in his eyes made it temporarily impossible to breathe. “Congratulations, Chlo. You’re officially a Bostonian.”
Her lips stretched into a smile. “Tell me anything right now and watch me stick.”
“Yeah, I’m getting there.” He raked the smirk off his face with a heavy hand. Paused. “I was a third-round draft pick. I’d injured my knee midway through last AHL season and... suddenly nothing I’d done before that mattered, you know? Championship titles, awards, out the window. I was just a liability. At the time, I was lucky to be fucking drafted at all, and while my contract was modest...” He wouldn’t look at her. “It was more money than I’d ever had in my life. Enough to buy my mother a house—and she deserved it after what she sacrificed for me. I bought this place, too, and I’ve been comfortable. With the end of my contract coming up—”
“You’ve been comfortable... until me,” Chloe said, a jolt racing down to her toes. “I’mthe reason you’re selling memorabilia.”
All her life, she’d been kept inside of a bubble. That had never been more obvious than it was in this moment. This was also the moment it burst.
“I’m not hurting for money, Chloe, I just...” His throat worked. “The past has taught me to save for a rainy day. The Bearcats haven’t offered me a new contract yet and I can’t stand the fucking thought of you wanting for anything. I can’tstandit. I told you I would support you and that’s what I’m going to do.”
She was shaking her head vigorously. “No. My apartment is nicer than yours.”
“I don’t need nice. I needyouto have nice.”
“Sig.” Her temples were pounding. “Oh my God. You... no. You don’t have time for a side hustle. You’ve been running this whole operation? Selling signed pucks to supportthree peoplewhile I was blowing my rent money on eye cream?” She pressed both hands to her stomach. “I’m going to be sick.”
Sig’s chest was beginning to heave up and down. “It’s a privilege to do this for you, Chloe. Don’t take it away from me.”
“But I’m not really independent at all, am I? I was blind to believe I was. This...” She swept a hand toward the kitchen table. “This is what it really takes to earn what you’re giving me and I had no part in it.”
Chloe stood up on jelly legs.
Sig quickly followed suit, taking her by the elbows.
“You’ll contribute eventually. Right now, you’re focused on training. That was the deal. And don’t minimize all the ways you’ve learned to be on your own. Don’t do that.”
Chloe acknowledged that statement with a dull nod, but she wasn’t able to accept the affirmation. Not now when her reality was altering itself. Not when she was seeing every moment of the last months through a new lens. “And then I have the nerve to tell Grace I’llthinkabout her mentoring me, potentially taking on first chair. That would pay... a lot, probably. Enough that I’d be able to support myself and take pressure off you. And I said I would think about it. Oh my God, I am sooblivious.”
“Stop being hard on yourself. You’ve never had to think about money.”
“Well, I’m thinking about it now. I’m not letting you do this anymore.”
“Let me?” Roughly, he hauled her body up against his, his lips close enough to hers that she could taste the beer on his breath. “Chloe, I would sell my fucking soul for you and smile while I signed on the dotted line.”
“But you don’t have to,” she whispered, sliding her fingers into his hair, nails dragging along his scalp. “You can keep your soul and have me, too.” Determination spread inside of Chloe, warming her blood, firming her bones. She’d never had this much purpose in her entire life—and wow, it felt good.Reallygood. Necessary. “I’m going to work my butt off and I’m going to earn first chair. I’m going to really earn it. I’m going to do it.”
Unmistakable pride moved in his expression. “You can do anything. Especially this.” He traced her cheekbone with an arc of his thumb. “But you do it for you. Not me. Not because I had to sell some shit to keep us healthy until my next contract. Do it becauseyouwant it.”
Knowing he was right, that landing a spot with BSO had to be for herself and no one else, Chloe took a moment to think, to explore her intentions and found that, yes, becoming a better harpist would satisfy her long-held worry that she’d coasted by on natural talent. Or worse, that she’d wasted a gift that gave her so much joy. Time to be sure. Time to find out what she was truly capable of.
“I’ll do it for me,” she said, looking him in the eye.
“Good.”